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Flanagan said he was in love with a girl, but Clutton replica england football shirts s austere countenance did not suggest passion and Philip thought it more probable that he separated himself replica england football shirts from his friends so that he might grow clear with the new ideas which were in him. But that evening, when the others had left the restaurant to go to a play and Philip was sitting alone, Clutton cam. e in and ordered dinner. They began to talk, and finding Clutton more loquacious and less sardonic than usual, Philip determined to take advantage of his good humour. I say I wish you d come and look at my picture, he said. I d like replica england football shirts to know what you think of it. No, I won t do that. Why not asked Philip, reddening. The request was one which they all made of one another, and no one ever thought of refusing. Clutton shrugged his shoulders. People ask you for criticism, but they only want praise. Besides, what s the good of criticism What does it matter if your picture is good or bad It matters to me. No. The only reason that one paints is that one can t replica england football shirts help it. It s a function like any of the other functions of the body, only comparatively few people have got it. One paints for oneself otherwise one would commit suicide. Just think of it, you replica england football shirts spend God knows how long trying to get something on to canvas, putting the sweat of your soul into it, and what is the result Ten to one it will be refused at the Salon if it s accepted, people glance at it for ten seconds as they pass if you re lucky some ignorant fool will buy it and put it on his walls and look at it as little as he looks at his dining room table. Criticism has nothing to do with the artist. It judges objectively, but the objective doesn t concern the artist. Clutton put his hands ove.en foolish. He did not want to go, but he knew he could never bring himself to go to the headmaster england football shirts red and tell him he would stay. That was a humiliation he could never put upon himself. He wondered whether he had done right. He was dissatisfied with himself and with all his circumstances. He asked himself dully whether whenever you got your way you wished afterwards that you hadn t. replica england football shirts O K S chapter 22 Philip s uncle had an old friend, called Miss Wilkinson, who lived in Berlin. She was the daughter of a clergyman, and it was with her father, the rector of a village in Lincolnshire, that Mr. Carey had spent his last curacy on his death, forced to earn her living, she had taken various situations as replica england football shirts a governess in France and Germany. She had kept up a correspondence with Mrs. Carey, and two or three times had spent her holidays at Blackstable Vicarage, paying as was usual with the Careys unfrequent guests a small sum for her keep. When it became clear that it was less trouble to yield to Philip s wishes than to resist them, Mrs. Carey wrote to ask her for advice. Miss Wilkinson recommended Heidelberg as an excellent place to learn German in and the house of Frau Professor Erlin as a comfortable home. Philip might live there for thirty marks a week, and the Professor himself, a teacher at the local high school, would instruct him. Philip arrived in Heidelberg one morning in May. His things were put on a barrow and he followed the porter out of the station. 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Presently, with an odour of cooking, the Frau Professor came in, a short, very stout woman with tightly dressed hair and a red face she had little eyes, sparkling like beads, and an effusive manner. She took both Philip s.
little frightened, and his heart beat uncomfortably but at the same time something impelled him to turn the handle. He turned it very gently, as if to prevent anyone within from hearing, and then slowly pushed the door open. He stood on the threshold for a moment before replica england football shirts he had the courage to enter. He was not frightened now, but it seemed strange. He closed the door behind him. The blinds were drawn, and the room, in the cold light of a January afternoon, was dark. On the dressing table were Mrs. Carey s brushes and the hand mirror. In a little tray were hairpins. There was a photograph of himself on the chimney piece and one of his father. He had often been in the room when his mother was not in it, but now it seemed different. There was something curious in the look of the chairs. The bed was made as though someone were going to sleep in it that night, and in a case on the pillow was a night dress. Philip opened a large cupboard filled with dresses and, stepping in, took as many of them as he could in his arms and buried his face in them. They smelt of the scent his mother used. Then he pulled open the drawers, filled with his mother s things, and looked at them there were lavender bags among the linen, and their scent was fresh and pleasant. The strangeness of the room left it, and it seemed to him that his mother had just gone out for a walk. She would be in presently and would come upstairs to have nursery tea with him. And he seemed to feel her kiss on his lips. It was not true that he would never see her again. It was not true simply because it was impossible. He climbed up on the bed and put his head on the pillow. He lay there quite still. chapter 4 Philip parted from Emma with tears, but the journey to Blackstable amused him, and, when they arrived, he was resigned and cheerful. Blackstable was sixty miles from London. 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