Real Madrids Kit e date of his departure was settled, and Mrs. Carey wrote to him again. She reminded him of Miss Wilkinson, through whose kindness he had real madrids kit gone to Frau Erlin s house at Heidelberg, and told him that she had arranged to spend a few weeks with them at Blackstable. She would be crossing from Flushing on such and such a day, and if he travelled at the same time he could look after her and come on to Blackstable in her company. Philip s shyness immediately made him write to say that he could not leave till a day or two afterwards. He pictured himself looking out for Miss Wilkinson, the embarrassment of going up to her and asking if it were she and he might so easily address the wrong person and be snubbed , and then the difficulty of knowing whether in the train he ought to talk to her or whether he could ignore her and read his book. At last he left Heidelberg. For three months he had been thinking of nothing but the future and he went without regret. He never knew that he had been happy there. Fraulein Anna gave him a copy of Der Trompeter von Sackingen and in return he presented her with a volume of William Morris. Very wisely neither of them ever read the other s present. chapter 32 Philip was surprised when he saw his uncle and real madrids kit aunt. He had never noticed before that they were quite old people. The Vicar received him with his usual, not unamiable indifference. He was a little stouter, a little balder, a little grayer. Philip saw how insignificant he was. His face was weak and self indulgent. Aunt Louisa took him in her arms and kissed him and tears of happiness flowed down her cheeks. Philip was touched and embarrassed he had not known with what a hungry love she cared for him. Oh, the time has seemed long since you ve been away, Philip, she cried. She stroked his hands and looked into his face with glad eyes. You ve grown. You re quite a man now. There was a very small moustache on his upper lip. He had bought a razor and now and then with infinite care shaved the down off his smooth chin. We ve been so lonely without you. And then shyly, with a little break in her voice, she asked You are glad to come back to your home, aren t you Yes, rather. She was so thin that she seemed almost transparent, the arms she put round his neck were frail bones that reminded you of chicken bones, and her faded face tottenham hotspur kit was oh so wrinkled. The gray curls which she still wore in the fashion of her youth gave her a queer, pathetic look and.of her class made her use this pretence to avoid the stigma attached to earning her living. My family s very well connected, she said. Philip smiled faintly, and she noticed it. What are you laughing at she said quickly. Don t you believe I m telling you the truth Of course I do, he answered. She looked at him suspiciously, but in a moment could not resist the temptation to impress him with the splendour of her early days. My father always kept a dog cart, and we had three servants. We had a cook and a housemaid and an odd man. We used to grow beautiful roses. People used to stop at the gate and ask who the house belonged to, the roses were so beautiful. Of course it isn t very nice for me having to mix with them girls in the shop, it s not the class of person I ve been used to, and sometimes I really think I ll give up business on that account. It s not the work I mind, don t think that but it s the class of people I have to mix with. They were sitting opposite one another in the train, and Philip, listening sympathetically to what she said, was quite happy. He was amused at her naivete and slightly touched. There was a very faint colour in her cheeks. He was thinking that it would be delightful to kiss the tip of her chin. The moment you come psg training sweatshirt into the shop I saw you was a gentleman in every sense of the word. Was your father a professional man He was a doctor. You can always tell a professional man. There s something about them, I don t know what it is, but I know at once. They walked along from the station together. I say, I want you to come and see another play with me, he said. I don t mind, she said. You might go so far as to say you d like to. Why real madrids kit It doesn t matter. Let s fix a day. Would Saturday night suit you Yes, that ll do. They made further arrangements, and then real madrids kit found themselves at the corner of the road in which she lived. She gave him her hand, and he held it. I say, I do so awfully want to call you Mildred. You may if you like, I don t care. And you ll call me Philip, won t you I will if I can think of it. It seems more natural to call you Mr. Carey. He drew her slightly towards him, but she leaned back. What are you doing Won t you kiss me good night he whispered. Impudence she said. She snatched away her hand and hurried towards her house. Philip bought tickets for Saturday night. It was not one of the days on which she got off early and therefore she would have no time to go home and change bu.
usly soothing and he had a feeling for her which seemed to him ridiculous to entertain towards a shop girl of nineteen he respected her. And he admired her magnificent healthiness. She was a splendid animal, without defect and physical perfection filled him always with admiring awe. She made him feel unworthy. Then, one day, about three weeks after they had come back to London as they walked together, he noticed that she was unusually silent. The serenity of her expression was altered by a slight line between the eyebrows it was the beginning of a frown. What s the matter, Sally he asked. She did not look at him, but straight in front of her, and her colour darkened. I don t know. He understood at once what she meant. His heart gave a sudden, quick beat, and he felt the colour leave his cheeks. What d you mean Are you afraid that He stopped. He could not go on. The possibility that anything of the sort could happen had never crossed his mind. Then he saw that her lips were trembling, and she was trying not to cry. I m not certain yet. Perhaps it ll be all right. They walked on in silence till they came to the corner of Chancery Lane, where he always left her. She held out her hand and smiled. Don t worry about it yet. Let s hope for the best. He walked away with a tumult of thoughts in his pink jeep soccer jersey head. What a fool he had been That was the first thing that struck him, an abject, miserable fool, and he repeated it man united shirts for sale to himself a dozen manchester united blue shirt times in a rush of angry feeling. He despised himself. How could he have got into such a mess But at the same time, for his thoughts chased one another through his brain and yet seemed to stand together, in a hopeless confusion, like the pieces of a jig saw puzzle seen in a nightmare, he asked himself what he was going to do. Everything was so clear before him, all he had aimed at so long within reach at last, and now his inconceivable stupidity had erected this new obstacle. Philip had tottenham hotspur nfl shirt never been able to surmount what he acknowledged was a defect in his resolute desire for a well ordered life, and that was his passion for living in real madrids kit the future and no sooner was he settled in his work at the hospital than he had busied himself with arrangements for his travels. In the past he had often tried not to think too circumstantially of his plans for the future, it was only discouraging but now that his goal was so near he saw no harm in giving away to a longing that was so difficult to resist. First.ing room for his singing lesson and she sat down on the music stool she put up her face in the middle of a scale and said Embrasse moi. When he bent down she flung her arms round his neck. It was slightly uncomfortable, for she held him in such a position that he felt rather choked. Ah, je t aime. Je t aime. Je t aime, real madrids kit she cried, with her extravagantly French accent. Philip wished she would speak English. I say, I don t know if it s struck you that the gardener s quite likely to pass the window any minute. Ah, je m en fiche du jardinier. Je m en refiche, et je m en contrefiche. Philip thought it was very like a French novel, and real madrids kit he did not know why it slightly irritated him. At last he said Well, I think I ll tootle along to the beach and have a dip. Oh, you re not going to leave me this morning of all mornings Philip did not quite know why he should not, but it did not matter. Would you like me to stay he smiled. Oh, you darling But no, go. Go. I want to think of you mastering the salt sea waves, bathing your limbs in the broad ocean. He got his hat and sauntered off. What rot women talk he thought to. himself. But he was pleased and happy and flattered. She was evidently frightfully gone on him. As he limped along the high street of Blackstable he looked with a tinge of superciliousness at the people he passed. He knew a good many to nod to, and as he gave them a smile of recognition he thought to himself, if they only knew He did want someone to know very badly. He thought he would write to Hayward, and in his mind composed the letter. He would talk of the garden and the roses, and the little French governess, like an exotic flower amongst them, scented and perverse he would say she was French, because well, she had lived in France so long that she almost was, and besides it would be shabby to give the whole thing away too exactly, don t you know and he would tell Hayward how he had seen her first in her pretty muslin dress and of the flower she had given him. He made a delicate idyl of it the sunshine and the sea gave it passion and magic, and the stars added poetry, man utd kids jersey and the old vicarage garden was a fit and exquisite setting. There was something Meredithian about it it was not quite Lucy Feverel and not quite Clara Middleton but it was inexpressibly charming. Philip s heart beat quickly. He was so delighted with his fancies that he began thinking of them again as soon as he crawled back, dripping and cold, into his bathing machine. He tho.orld was robbed of its cruelty. What he did or left undone did not matter. Failure was unimportant and success amounted to nothing. He was the most inconsiderate creature in that swarming mass of mankind which for a brief space occupied the surface of the earth and he was almighty because he had wrenched from chaos the secret of its nothingness. Thoughts came tumbling over one another in Philip s eager fancy, and he took long breaths of joyous satisfaction. He felt inclined to leap and sing. He had not been so happy for months. Oh, life, he cried in his heart, Oh life, where is thy sting For the same uprush of fancy which had shown him with all the force of mathematical demonstration that life had no meaning, brought with it another idea and that was why Cronshaw, he imagined, had given him the Persian rug. As the weaver elaborated his pattern for no end but the pleasure of his aesthetic sense, so real madrids kit might a man live his life, or if one was forced to believe that his actions were outside his choosing, so might a man look at his life, that it made a pattern. There was as little need to do this as there was use. It was merely something he did for his own pleasure. Out of the manifold events of his life, his deeds, his feelings, his thoughts, he might make a design, regular, elaborate, complicated, or beautiful and though it might be no more than an illusion that he had the power of selection, though it might be no more than a fantastic legerdemain in which appearances were interwoven with moonbeams, that did not matter it seemed, and so to him it was. In the vast warp of life a river arising from no spring and flowing endlessly to no sea , with the background to his fancies that there was no meaning and that nothing was important, a man might get a personal satisfaction in selecting the various strands that worked out the pattern. There was one pattern, the most obvious, perfect, and beautiful, in which a man was born, grew to manhood, married, produced children, toiled for his bread, and died but there were others, intricate and wonderful, in which happiness did not enter and in which success was not ac milan gold shirt attempted and in them might be discovered a more troubling grace. Some lives, and Hayward s was among them, the blind indifference of chance cut off while the design was still imperfect and then the solace was comfortable that it did not matter other lives, such as Cronshaw s, offered a pattern which was difficult to foll.
Real Madrids Kit l albums filled with sketches of churches, old bridges, and picturesque cottages. They were often shown at the vicarage tea parties. She had once given Philip a paint box as a Christmas present, and he had started by copying her pictures. He copied them better than anyone could have expected, and presently he did little pictures of his own. Mrs. Carey encouraged him. It was a good way to keep him out of mischief, and later on his sketches would be useful for bazaars. Two or three of them had been framed and hung in his bed room. But one day, at the end of the m. orning s work, Mr. Perkins stopped him as he was lounging out of the form room. I want to speak to you, Carey. Philip waited. Mr. Perkins ran his lean fingers through his beard and looked at Philip. He seemed to be thinking over what he wanted to say. What s the matter with you, Carey he said abruptly. Philip, flushing, looked at him quickly. But knowing him well by now, without answering, he waited for him to go on. I ve been dissatisfied with you lately. You ve been slack and inattentive. You seem to take no interest in your work. It s been slovenly and bad. I m very sorry, sir, said Philip. Is that all you have to say for yourself Philip looked down sulkily. How could he answer that he was bored to death You know, this term you ll go down instead of up. I shan t give you a personalised tottenham football shirts very good report. Philip wondered what he would say real madrids kit if he knew how the report was treated. It arrived at breakfast, Mr. Carey glanced at it indifferently, and passed it over to Philip. There s your report. You d better see what real madrids kit it says, he remarked, as he ran his fingers through the wrapper of a catalogue of second hand books. Philip read it. Is it good asked Aunt Louisa. Not so good as I deserve, answered Philip, with a smile, giving it to her. 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