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new his uncle would not send him more than the fifteen pounds a month which had been agreed upon. He had not managed his allowance very well. His pension and the price of his lessons left him very little over, and he had found going about with Hayward expensive. Hayward had often suggested excursions, a visit to the play, or a bottle of wine, when Philip had come to the end of his month s money and with the folly of his age he had been unwilling to confess he could not afford an extravagance. Luckily Hayward s letters came seldom, and in the intervals Philip settled down again to his industrious life. He had matriculated at the university and attended one or two courses of lectures. Kuno Fischer was then at the height of his fame and during the winter had been lecturing brilliantly on Schopenhauer. It was Philip s introduction to philosophy. He had a practical mind and moved uneasily amid the abstract but he found an unexpected fascination in listening to metaphysical disquisitions they made him breathless it was a little like watching a tight rope dancer doing perilous feats over an abyss but it was very exciting. The pessimism of the subject attracted his youth and he believed that the world he was about to enter was a place of pitiless woe and of darkness. That made him none the less eager to enter it and when, in due course, Mrs. Carey, acting as the correspondent for his guardian s views, suggested that it was time for him to come back to England, he agreed with enthusiasm. He must make up his mind now what he meant to do. If he left Heidelberg at the end of July they could talk things over during August, and it would be a good time to make arrangements. Th. e date real madrid 13 shirts of his departure was settled, and Mrs. Carey wrote to him again. She reminded him of Miss Wilkinson, through whose kindness he had gone to Frau Erlin s house at Heidelberg, and told him that she had arranged to spend a few weeks with them at Blackstable. She would be crossing from Flushing on such and such a day, and if he travelled at the same time he could look after her and come on to Blackstable in her company. Philip s shyness immediately made him write to say that he could not leave till a day or two afterwards. He pictured himself looking out for Miss Wilkinson, the embarrassment of going up to her and asking if it were she and he might so easily address the wrong person and be snubbed , and then the difficulty of knowing whether in the train he ought to talk to her or w.e to be paid in any case. Then will you give notice for me to leave at Christmas said Philip, at the end of a long real madrid 13 shirts and often bitter conversation. I ll write to Mr. Perkins about it and see what he says. Oh, I wish to goodness I were twenty one. It is awful to be at somebody else s beck and call. Philip, you shouldn t speak to your uncle like that, said Mrs. Carey gently. But don t you see that Perkins will want me to stay He gets so much a head for every chap real madrid 13 shirts in the school. Why don t you want to go to Oxford What s the good if I m not going into the Church You can t go into the Church you re in the Church already, said the Vicar. Ordained then, replied Philip impatiently. What are you going to be, Philip asked real madrid 13 shirts Mrs. Carey. I don t know. I ve not made up my mind. But whatever I am, it ll be useful to know foreign languages. I shall get far more out of a year in real madrid new t shirt Germany than by staying on at that hole. He would not say that he felt Oxford would be little better than a continuation of his life at school. He wished immensely to be his own master. Besides he would be known to a certain extent among old schoolfellows, and he wanted to get away from them all. He felt that his life at school had been a failure. He wanted to start fresh. It happened that his desire to go to Germany fell in with certain ideas which had been of late discussed at Blackstable. Sometimes friends came to stay with the doctor and brought news of the world outside and the visitors spending August by the sea had their own way of looking at things. The Vicar had heard that there were people who did not think the old fashioned education so useful nowadays as it had been in the past, and modern languages were gaining an importance which they had not had in his own youth. His own mind was divided, for a younger brother of his had been sent to Germany when he failed in some examination, thus creating a precedent but since he had there died of typhoid it was impossible to look upon the experiment as other than real madrid 13 shirts dangerous. The result of innumerable conversations was that Philip should go back to Tercanbury for another term, and then should leave. With this agreement Philip was not dissatisfied. But when he had been back a few days the headmaster spoke to him. I ve had a letter from your uncle. It appears you want to go to Germany, and he asks me what I think about it. Philip was astounded. He was furious with his guardian for going back on his word. I thoug.He and Lawson had nothing more to say to one another. Philip was no longer interested in art it seemed to him that he was able to enjoy beauty with greater force than when he was a boy but art appeared to him unimportant. He was occupied with the forming of a pattern out of the manifold chaos of life, and the materials with which he worked seemed to make preoccupation with pigments and words very trivial. Lawson had served his turn. Philip s friendship with him had been a motive in the design he was elaborating it was merely sentimental to ignore the fact that the painter was of no further interest to him. Sometimes Philip thought of Mildred. He avoided deliberately the streets in which there was a chance of seeing her but occasionally some feeling, perhaps curiosity, perhaps something deeper which he would not acknowledge, made him wander about Piccadilly and Regent Street during the hours when she might be expected to be there. He did not know then whether he wished to see her or dreaded it. Once he saw a back which reminded him of hers, and for a moment he thought it was she it gave him a curious sensation it was a strange sharp pain in his real madrid 13 shirts heart, there was fear in it and a sickening dismay and when he hurried on and found that he was mistaken he did not know whether it was relief that he experienced or disappointment. At the beginning of August Philip passed his surgery, his last examination, and received his diploma. It was seven years since he had entered tottenham tee shirts St. Luke s Hospital. He was nearly thirty. He walked down the stairs of the Royal College of Surgeons with the roll in his hand which qualified him to practice, and his heart beat with satisfaction. Now I m really going to begin life, he thought. Next day he went to the secretary s office to put his name down for one of the hospital appointments. The secretary was retro england shirt a pleasant little man with a black beard, whom Philip had always found very affable. He congratulated him on his success, and then said I suppose you wouldn t like to do a locum for a month on the South coast Three guineas a week with board and lodging. I wouldn t mind, said Philip. It s at Farnley, in Dorsetshire. Doctor South. You d have to go down at once his assistant has developed mumps. I believe it s a very pleasant place. There was something in the secretary s manner that puzzled Philip. It was a little doubtful. What s the crab in it he asked. The secretary hesitated a moment and laughed.
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