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fidence. Perhaps, he thought to himself, with a smile, perhaps I m cut out to be a doctor. It would be rather a lark if I d hit upon the one thing I m fit for. It seemed to Philip that he alone of the clerks saw the dramatic interest of those afternoons. To the others men and women were only cases, good if they were complicated, tiresome if obvious they heard murmurs and were astonished at abnormal livers an unexpected sound in the lungs gave them something to talk about. But to Philip there was much more. He found an interest in just looking at them, in the shape of their heads and their hands, in the look of their eyes and the length of their noses. You saw in that room human nature taken by surprise, and often the mask of custom was torn off rudely, showing you the soul all raw. Sometimes you saw an untaught stoicism which was profoundly moving. Once Philip saw a man, rough and illiterate, told his case was hopeless and, self controlled himself, he wondered at the splendid instinct which forced the fellow to keep a stiff upper lip before strangers. But was it possible for him to be brave when he was by himself, face to face with his soul, or would he then surrender to despair Sometimes there was tragedy. Once a young woman brought her sister to be examined, a girl of eighteen, with delicate features and large blue eyes, fair hair that sparkled with gold when a ray of autumn reading football shirt sunshine touched it for a moment, and a skin of amazing beauty. The students eyes went to her with little smiles. They did not often see a pretty girl in these dingy rooms. The elder woman gave the family history, father and mother had died of phthisis, a brother and a sister, these two were the only ones left. The girl had been coughing lately and losing weight. She took off her blouse and the skin of her neck was like milk. Dr. Tyrell examined her quietly, with his usual rapid method he told two or three of his clerks to apply their stethoscopes to a place he indicated with his finger and then all liverpool shirts she was allowed to dress. The sister was standing a little apart and she spoke to him in a low voice, so that the girl should not hear. Her voice trembled with fear. She hasn t got it, doctor, has she I m afraid there s no doubt about it. She was the last one. When she goes I shan t have anybody. She began to cry, while the doctor looked at her gravely he thought she too had the type she would not make old bones either. The girl turned round and saw.It is so good to think that your first love should have been pure poetry. Treasure the moments, for the immortal gods have given you the Greatest Gift of All, and it will be a sweet, sad memory till your dying day. You will never again enjoy that careless rapture. First love is best love and she is beautiful and you are young, and all the world is yours. I felt my pulse go faster when with your adorable simplicity you told me that you buried your face in her long hair. I am sure that it is that exquisite chestnut which seems just touched with gold. I would have you sit under a leafy tree side by side, and read together Romeo and Juliet and then I would have you fall on your knees and on my behalf kiss the ground on which her foot has left its imprint then tell her it is the homage of a poet to her radiant youth and to your love for her. Yours always, G. Etheridge Hayward. What damned rot said Philip, when he finished the letter. Miss Wilkinson oddly enough had suggested that they should read Romeo and Juliet together but Philip had firmly declined. Then, as he put the letter in his pocket, he felt a queer little pang of bitterness because reality seemed so different from the ideal. Embrasse moi. Ah Je t aime Je t aime Je t aime Ah ie m en nche dujardlnler Je m en retlche et je m enCofltrehche G chapter 36 A few days later Philip went to London. The curate had recommended rooms in Barnes, and these Philip engaged by letter at fourteen shillings a week. He reached them in the evening and the landlady, a funny little old woman with a shrivelled body and a deeply wrinkled face, had prepared high tea for him. Most of the sitting room was taken up by the sideboard and a square table against one wall was a sofa kids spurs shorts covered with horsehair, and by the fireplace an arm chair to match there was a white antimacassar over the back of it, and on the seat, because the springs were broken, a hard cushion. After having his tea he unpacked and arranged his books, then he sat down and tried to read but he was depressed. The silence in the street made him slightly uncomfortable, and he felt very much alone. Next day he got up early. He put on his tail coat and the tall hat which he had worn at school but it was very shabby, and he made up his mind to stop at the Stores on his way to the office and buy a new one. When he had done this he found himself in plenty of time and so walked along the Strand. The office of Messrs. Herbert Carter C.strained their ears, and their fancy presented them with a faint sound of little waves lapping up against the shingle. When they passed the stile again the lovers were still there, but now they were not speaking they were in one another s arms, and the man s lips were pressed against the girl s. They seem busy, said Sally. They turned a corner, and a breath of warm wind beat for a moment against their faces. The earth gave forth its freshness. There brazil fc store was something strange in the tremulous night, and something, you knew not what, seemed to be waiting the silence was on a sudden pregnant with meaning. Philip had a queer feeling in his heart, it seemed very full, it seemed to melt the hackneyed phrases expressed precisely the curious reading football shirt sensation , he felt happy and anxious and expectant. To his memory came back those lines in which Jessica and Lorenzo murmur melodious words to one another, capping each other s utterance but passion shines bright and clear through the conceits that amuse them. He did not know what there was in the air that made his senses so strangely alert it seemed to him that he was pure soul to enjoy the scents and the sounds and the savours of the earth. He had never felt such an exquisite capacity for beauty. He was afraid that Sally by speaking would break the spell, but she said never a word, and he wanted to hear the sound of her voice. Its low richness was the voice of the country night itself. They arrived at the field through which she had to walk to get reading football shirt back to the huts. Philip went in to hold the gate open for her. Well, here I think I ll say good night. Thank you for coming all that way with me. She gave him her hand, and as he took it, he said If you were very nice you d kiss me good night like the rest of the family. I don t mind, she said. Philip had spoken in jest. He merely wanted to kiss her, because he was happy and he liked her and the night was so lovely. Good night then, he said, with a little laugh, drawing her towards him. She gave him her lips they were warm and full and soft he lingered a little, they were like a flower then, he knew not how, without meaning it, he flung his arms round her. She yielded quite silently. Her body was firm and strong. He felt her heart beat against his. Then he lost his head. His senses overwhelmed him like a flood of rushing waters. He drew her into the darker shadow of the hedge. chapter 120 Philip slept like a log and awoke with a start to fin.
Reading Football Shirt there, his heart beating with sheer joy, thought how the tempter had stood with Jesus on a high mountain and shown him the kingdoms of the earth. To Philip, intoxicated with the beauty of the scene, it seemed that it was the whole world which was spread before him, and he was eager to step down and enjoy it. reading football shirt He was free from degrading fears and free from prejudice. He could go his way without the intolerable dread of hell fire. Suddenly he realised that he had lost also that burden of responsibility which made every action of his life a football borussia dortmund matter of urgent consequence. He could breathe more freely in a lighter air. He was responsible only to himself for the things he did. Freedom He was his own master at last. From old habit, unconsciously he thanked God that he no longer believed in Him. Drunk with pride in his intelligence and in his fearlessness, Philip entered deliberately upon a new life. But his loss of faith made less difference in his behaviour than he expected. Though he had thrown on one side the Christian dogmas it never occurred manchester city squad kit numbers to him to criticise the Christian ethics he accepted the Christian virtues, and indeed thought it fine to practise them for their own sake, without a thought of reward or punishment. There was small occasion for heroism in the Frau Professor s house, but he was a little more exactly truthful than he had been, and he forced himself to be more than commonly attentive to the dull, elderly ladies reading football shirt who sometimes engaged him in conversation. The gentle oath, the violent adjective, which are typical of our language and which he had cultivated before as a sign of manliness, he now elaborately eschewed. Having settled the whole matter to his satisfaction he sought to put it out of his mind, but that was more easily said than done and he could not prevent the regrets nor stifle the misgivings which sometimes tormented him. He was so young and had so few friends that immortality had no particular attractions for him, and he was able without trouble to give up belief in it but there was one thing which made him wretched he told himself that he was unreasonable, he tried to laugh manchester united t-shirts for sale in cape town himself out of such reading football shirt pathos but the tears really came to his eyes when he thought that he would never see again the beautiful mother whose love for him had grown more precious as the years since her death passed on. And sometimes, as though the influence of innumerable ancestors, Godfearing and devout, were working in h.others. A fine picture gave Lawson an immediate thrill. His appreciation was instinctive. Even Flanagan felt certain things which Philip was obliged to think out. His own appreciation was intellectual. He could not help thinking that if he had in him the artistic temperament he hated the phrase, but could discover no other he would feel beauty in the emotional, unreasoning way in which they did. He began to wonder whether he had anything more than a superficial cleverness of the hand which enabled him to copy objects with accuracy. That was nothing. He had learned to despise technical dexterity. The important thing was to feel in terms of paint. Lawson painted in men's leicester city shirts a certain way because it was his nature to, and through the imitativeness of a student sensitive to every influence, there pierced individuality. Philip looked at his own portrait of Ruth Chalice, and now that three months had passed reading football shirt he realised that it was no more than a servile copy of Lawson. He felt himself barren. He painted with the brain, and he could not help knowing that the only painting worth anything was done with the heart. He had very little money, barely sixteen hundred pounds, and it would be necessary for him to practise the severest economy. He could not count on earning anything for ten years. The history of painting was full of artists who had earned nothing at all. He must resign himself to penury and it was worth while if he produced work which was immortal but he had a terrible fear that he would never be more than second rate. Was it worth while for that to give up one s youth, and the gaiety of life, and the manifold chances of being He knew the existence of foreign painters in Paris enough to see that the lives they led were narrowly provincial. He knew some who had dragged along for twenty years in the pursuit of a fame which always escaped them till they sunk into sordidness and alcoholism. Fanny s suicide had aroused memories, and Philip heard ghastly stories of the way in which one person or another had escaped from despair. He remembered the scornful advice which the master had given poor Fanny it would have been well for her if she had taken it and given up an attempt which was hopeless. Philip finished his portrait of Miguel Ajuria and made up his mind to send it to the Salon. Flanagan was sending two pictures, and he thought he could paint as well as Flanagan. He had worked so hard on the portrait that he could not help.