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t to do. He was distracted. And he thought of Griffiths and Mildred going to Oxford, sitting opposite one another in the train, happy. He went back to his rooms, but they filled him with horror, he had been so wretched in them he tried once more to read Burton s book, but, as he read, he told himself again and again what a fool he had been it was he who had made the suggestion that they should go away, he had offered the money, he had forced it upon them he might have known what would happen when he introduced Griffiths to Mildred his own vehement passion was enough to arouse the other s desire. By this time they had reached Oxford. They would put up in one of the lodging houses in John Street Philip had never been to Oxford, but Griffiths had talked to him about it so much that he knew exactly where they would go and they would dine at the Clarendon Griffiths had been in the habit of dining there when he went on the spree. Philip got himself something to eat in a restaurant near Charing Cross he had made up his mind to go to a play, and afterwards he fought his way into the pit of a theatre at which one of Oscar Wilde s pieces was being performed. He wondered if Mildred and Griffiths would go to a play that evening they must kill the evening somehow they were too stupid, both of them to content themselves with conversation he got a fierce delight in reminding himself of the vulgarity of their minds which suited them german shirts for sale so exactly to one another. He watched the play with an abstracted mind, trying to give himself gaiety by drinking whiskey in each interval he was unused to alcohol, and it affected him quickly, but his drunkenness was savage and morose. When the play was over he had another drink. He could not go to bed, he knew he would not sleep, and he dreaded the pictures which his vivid imagination would place before him. paris saint germain air jordan shirt He tried not to think of them. He knew he had drunk too much. Now he was seized with a desire to do horrible, sordid things he wanted to roll himself in gutters his whole paris shirts for kids being yearned for beastliness he wanted to grovel. He walked up Piccadilly, dragging his club foot, sombrely drunk, with rage and misery clawing at his heart. He was stopped by a painted harlot, who put her hand on his arm he pushed paris shirts for kids her violently away with brutal words. He walked on a few steps adidas ac milan and then stopped. She would do as well as another. He was sorry he had spoken so roughly to her. He went up to her. I say, he began. Go.gs by heart, which paris shirts for kids she could sing at a moment s notice whenever she was asked. She often sang still when there was a tea party at the vicarage. There were few people whom the Careys cared to ask there, and their parties consisted always of the curate, Josiah Graves with his sister, Dr. Wigram and his wife. After tea Miss Graves played one or two of Mendelssohn s Songs without Words, and Mrs. Carey sang When the Swallows Homeward Fly, or Trot, Trot, My Pony. But the Careys did not give tea parties often the preparations upset them, and when their guests were paris shirts for kids gone they felt themselves exhausted. They preferred to have tea by themselves, and after tea they played backgammon. Mrs. Carey arranged that her husband should win, because he did not like losing. They had cold supper at eight. It was a scrappy meal because Mary Ann resented getting anything ready after tea, and Mrs. Carey helped to clear away. Mrs. Carey seldom ate more than bread and butter, with a little stewed fruit to follow, but the Vicar had a slice of cold meat. Immediately after supper Mrs. Carey rang the bell for prayers, and then Philip went to bed. He rebelled against being undressed by Mary Ann and after a while succeeded in establishing his right to dress and undress himself. At nine o clock Mary Ann brought in the eggs and the plate. Mrs. Carey wrote the date on each egg and put the number down in a book. She then took the plate basket on her arm and went upstairs. Mr. Carey continued to read one of his old books, but as the clock struck ten he got up, put out the lamps, and followed his wife to bed. When Philip arrived there was some difficulty in deciding on which evening he should have his bath. It was never easy to get plenty of hot water, since psg kits and logo 2019 the kitchen boiler did not work, and it was impossible for two persons to have a bath on the same day. The only man who had a bathroom in Blackstable was Mr. Wilson, and it was thought ostentatious of him. Mary Ann had her bath in the kitchen on Monday night, because she liked to begin the week clean. Uncle William could not have his on Saturday, because he had a heavy day real madrid youth jersey before him and he was always a little tired after a bath, so he had it on Friday. Mrs. Carey had hers on Thursday for the same reason. It looked as though Saturday were naturally indicated for Philip, but Mary Ann said she couldn t keep the fire up on Saturday night what with all the cooking on Sunday, having to make pastry and she.im unconsciously, there seized him a panic fear that perhaps after all it was all true, and there was, up there behind the blue sky, a jealous God who would punish in everlasting flames the atheist. At these times his reason could offer him no help, he imagined the anguish of a physical torment which portugal away shirt ronaldo would last endlessly, he felt quite sick with fear and burst into a violent sweat. At last he would say to himself desperately After all, it s not my fault. I can t force myself to believe. If there is a God after all and he punishes me because I honestly don t believe in Him I can t help it. paris shirts for kids chapter 29 Winter set in. Weeks went to Berlin to attend the lectures of Paulssen, and Hayward began to think of going South. The local theatre opened its doors. Philip and Hayward went to it two or three times a week with the praiseworthy intention of improving their German, and Philip found it a more diverting manner of perfecting himself in the language than listening paris shirts for kids to sermons. They found themselves in liverpool tee shirts the midst of a revival of the drama. Several of Ibsen s plays were on the repertory for the winter Sudermann s Die Ehre was then a new play, and on its production in the quiet university town caused the greatest excitement it was extravagantly praised and bitterly attacked other dramatists followed with plays written under the modern influence, and Philip witnessed a series of works in which the vileness of mankind was displayed before him. He had never been to a play in his life till then poor touring companies sometimes came to the Assembly Rooms at Blackstable, but the Vicar, partly on account of his profession, partly because he thought it would be vulgar, never went to see them and the passion of the stage seized him. He felt a thrill the moment he got into the little, shabby, ill lit theatre. Soon he came to know the peculiarities of the small company, and by the casting could tell at once what were the characteristics of the persons in the drama but this made no difference to him. To him it was real life. It was a strange life, dark and tortured, in which men and women showed to remorseless eyes the evil that was in their hearts a fair face concealed a depraved mind the virtuous used virtue as a mask to hide their secret vice, the seeming strong fainted within with their weakness the honest were corrupt, the chaste were lewd. You seemed to dwell in a room where the night before an orgy had taken place the windows had no.
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