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Then, telling the child to go to sleep, he turned down the gas and, leaving the door open in case she cried, went back into the sitting room. Where are you going to sit he asked Mildred. You sit in your chair. I m going to sit on the floor. When he sat down she settled herself in front of the fire and leaned against his knees. He could not help remembering that this was how they had sat together in her rooms in the Vauxhall Bridge Road, but the positions had been reversed it was he who had sat on the floor and leaned his head against her knee. How passionately he had loved her then Now he felt for her a tenderness he had not known for a long time. He seemed still to feel twined round his neck the baby s soft little arms. Are you comfy he asked. She looked up at him, gave a slight smile, and nodded. They gazed into the fire dreamily, without speaking to one another. At last she turned round and stared at him curiously. D you know that you haven t kissed me once since I came here she said suddenly. D you want me to he smiled. I suppose you don t care for me in that way any more I m very fond of you. You re much fonder of baby. He did not answer, and she laid her cheek against his hand. You re not angry with me any more she asked presently, with her eyes cast down. Why on earth should I be I ve never cared for you as I do now. It s only since I passed through the fire that I ve learnt to love you. It chilled Philip to hear her make use of the sort of phrase she read in paris football shirt the penny novelettes which she devoured. Then he wondered whether what she said man city training pants had any meaning for her perhaps she knew no other way to express her genuine feelings than the stilted language of The Family Herald. It seems so funny our living together like this. He did not reply for quite a long time, and silence fell upon them again but at last he spoke and seemed conscious of no interval. You mustn t be angry with me. One can t help these things. I remember that I thought you wicked and cruel because you did this, that, and the other but it was very silly of me. You didn t. love me, and it was absurd to blame you for that. I thought I could make you love me, but I know now that was impossible. I don t know what it is that makes someone love you, but whatever it is, it s the only thing that matters, and if.
They complained that he was conceited and, since he excelled only in matters which to them were unimportant, they asked satirically what he had to be conceited about. He was developing a sense of humour, and found that he had a knack of saying bitter things, which caught people on the raw he said them because they amused him, hardly realising how much they hurt, and was much offended when he found that his victims regarded him with active dislike. The humiliations he suffered when first he went to school had caused in him a shrinking from his fellows which he could never entirely overcome he remained shy and silent. But though he did everything to alienate the sympathy of other boys he longed with all his heart for the popularity which to some was so easily accorded. These from his distance he admired extravagantly and though he was inclined to be more sarcastic with them than with others, though he made little jokes at their expense, he would have given anything to change places with them. Indeed he would gladly have changed places with the dullest boy in the school who was whole of limb. He took to a singular habit. He would imagine that he was some boy whom he had a particular fancy for he paris football shirt would throw his soul, paris football shirt as it were, into the other s body, talk with his voice and laugh with his heart he would imagine himself doing all the things the other did. It was so vivid that he seemed for a moment really to be no longer himself. In this way he enjoyed many intervals of fantastic happiness. At the beginning of the Christmas term which followed on his confirmation Philip found himself moved into another study. One of the boys who shared it was called Rose. 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He paris football shirt lost two of his small nibs quickly, and Singer was jubilant, but the third time by some chance the Jumbo slipped round and Philip was able to push his J across it. He crowed with triumph. At that moment Mr. Watson came in. What are you doing he asked. He looked from Singer to Philip, but neither answered. Don t you know that I ve forbidden you to play that idiotic game Philip s heart beat fast. He knew what was coming and was dreadfully frightened, but in his fright there was a certain exultation. He had never been swished. Of course it would hurt, but it was something to boast about afterwards. Come into my study. The headmaster turned, and they followed him side by side Singer whispered to Philip We re in for it. Mr. Watson pointed to Singer. Bend over, he said. Philip, very white, saw the boy quiver at each stroke, and after the third he heard him cry out. Three more followed. That ll do. Get up. Singer stood up. The tears were streaming down his face. Philip stepped forward. Mr. Watson looked at him for a moment. I m not going to cane you. You re a new boy. And I can t hit a cripple. Go away, both of you, and don t be naughty again. When they got back into the school room a group of boys, who had learned in some mysterious way what was happening, were waiting for them. They set upon Singer at once with eager questions. Singer faced them, his face red with the pain and marks of tears still on his cheeks. He pointed with his head at Philip, who was standing a little behind him. He got off because he s a cripple, he said angrily. Philip stood silent and flushed. He felt that they looked at him with contempt. How many did you get one boy asked Singer. But he did not answer. He was angry because he had been hurt Don t ask me to play Nibs with you again, he said to Philip. It s jolly nice for you. You don t risk anything. I didn t ask you. Didn t you He quickly put out his foot and tripped Philip up. Philip was always rather unsteady on his feet, and he fell heavily to the ground. Cripple, said Singer. For the rest of the term he tormented Philip cruelly, and, though Philip tried to keep out of his way, the school was so small that it was impossible he tried being friendly and paris football shirt jolly with him he abased himself, so far as to buy him a knife but though Singer took the knife he was not placated. Once or twice, driven beyond endurance, he hit and kicked the bigger boy, but Singer was so much stronger t.
Paris Football Shirt ther night, he said. It was an awkward thing to speak about, but apparently it was necessary to discuss it. I don t know what you mean, she answered. Please don t be angry with me. I should never have asked you to come and liv. e here if I d not meant our relations to be merely friendly. I suggested it because I thought you wanted a home and you would have a chance of looking about for something to do. Oh, don t think I care. I don t for a moment, he hastened to say. You mustn t think I m ungrateful. I realise that you only proposed it for my sake. It s just a feeling I have, and I can t help it, it would make the whole thing ugly and horrid. You are funny she said, looking at him curiously. I can t make you out. She was not angry with him now, but puzzled she had no idea what he meant she accepted the situation, she had indeed a vague feeling that he was behaving in a very noble fashion and that she ought to admire it but also she felt inclined to laugh at him and perhaps even to despise him a little. He s a rum customer, she thought. Life went smoothly enough with them. Philip spent all day at the hospital and worked at home in the evening except when he went to the Athelnys or to the tavern in Beak Street. Once the physician for whom he clerked asked him to a solemn dinner, and two or three times he went to parties given by fellow students. Mildred accepted the monotony of her life. If she minded that Philip left her sometimes by herself in the evening she never mentioned it. Occasionally he took her to a music hall. He carried out his intention that the only tie between them should be the domestic service she did in return for board and lodging. She had made up her mind that it was no use trying to get work that summer, and with Philip s approval determined to stay where she was till the autumn. She thought it would be easy to get something to do then. As far as I m concerned you can stay on here when you ve got a job if it s convenient. The room s there, and the woman who did for me before can come in to look after the baby. He grew very much attached to Mildred s child. He had a naturally affectionate disposition, which had had little opportunity to display itself. Mildred was not unkind to the little girl. She looked after her very well and once when she had a bad cold proved herself a devoted nurse but the child bored her, and she spoke to her sharply when she bothered she was fond of her, but had not the maternal passion which might h.red out by the violence of his passion. His soul was filled on a sudden with a singular aridity. paris football shirt He began to forget the presence of God which had seemed so surrounding and his religious exercises, still very punctually performed, grew merely formal. At first he blamed himself for this falling away, and the fear of hell fire urged him to renewed vehemence but the passion was dead, and gradually other interests distracted his thoughts. Philip had few friends. His habit of reading isolated him it paris football shirt became such a need that after being in company for some time he grew tired and restless he was vain of the wider knowledge he had acquired from the perusal of so many books, his mind was alert, and he had not the skill to hide his contempt for his companions stupidity They complained that he paris football shirt was conceited and, since he excelled only in matters which to them were unimportant, they asked satirically what he had to be conceited about. He was developing a sense of humour, and found that he had a knack of saying bitter things, which caught people on the raw he said them because they amused him, hardly realising how much they hurt, and was much offended when he found that his victims regarded him with active dislike. The humiliations he suffered when first he went to school had caused in him a shrinking from his fellows which he could never entirely overcome he remained shy and silent. But though he did everything to alienate the sympathy of other boys he longed with all his heart for the popularity which to some was so easily accorded. These from his distance he admired extravagantly and though he was inclined to be more sarcastic with them than with others, though he made little jokes at their expense, he would have given anything to change places with them. Indeed he would gladly have changed places with the dullest boy in the school who was whole paris football shirt of limb. He took to a singular habit. He would imagine that he was some boy whom he had a particular fancy for he would throw his soul, as it were, into the other s body, talk with his voice and laugh with his heart he would imagine himself doing all the things the other did. It was so vivid that he seemed for a moment really to be no longer himself. In this way he enjoyed many intervals of fantastic happiness. At the beginning of the Christmas term which followed on his confirmation Philip found himself moved into another study. One of the boys who shared it was called Rose. He was in the same form as Philip, and.