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He did not mind much, since he had done all he could to persuade himself that there was little chance that it would be taken, till Flanagan a few days later rushed in to tell Lawson and Philip that one of his pictures was accepted. With a blank face Philip offered his congratulations, and Flanagan was so busy congratulating himself that he did not catch the note of irony which Philip could not prevent from coming into his voice. Lawson, quicker witted, observed it and looked at Philip curiously. His own picture was all right, he knew that a day or two before, and he was vaguely resentful of Philip s attitude. But he was surprised at the sudden question which Philip put him as soon as nike paris saint germain third kit the American was gone. If you were in my place would you chuck the whole thing What do you mean I wonder if it s worth while being a second rate painter. nike paris saint germain third kit You see, in other things, if you re a doctor or if you re in business, it doesn t matter so much if you re mediocre. You make a living and you get along. But what is the good of turning out second rate pictures Lawson was fond of Philip and, as soon as he thought he was seriously distressed by nike paris saint germain third kit the refusal of his picture, he set nike paris saint germain third kit himself to console him. It was notorious that the Salon had refused pictures which were afterwards famous it was the first time Philip had sent, and he must expect a rebuff Flanagan s success was explicable, his picture was showy and superficial it was just the sort of thing a languid jury would see merit in. Philip grew impatient it was humiliating sports direct man city kit that Lawson should think him capable of being seriously disturbed by so trivial a calamity and would not realise that his dejection was due to a deep seated distrust of his powers. Of late Clutton had withdrawn himself somewhat from the group who took their meals at Gravier s, and lived very much by himself. Flanagan said he was in love with a girl, but Clutton s austere countenance did not suggest passion and Philip thought it more probable that he separated himself from his friends so that he might grow clear with the new ideas which were in him. But that evening, when the others had left the restaurant to go to a play and Philip was sitting alone, Clutton cam.
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He wished to get a berth as ship s doctor on one of the large tramps that took things leisurely enough for a man to see something of the places at which they stopped. He wanted to go to the East and his fancy was rich with pictures of Bangkok and Shanghai, and the ports of Japan he pictured to himself palm trees and skies blue and hot, dark skinned people, pagodas the scents of the Orient intoxicated his nostrils. His heart but with passionate desire for the beauty and the strangeness of the world. Mildred awoke. I do believe I ve been asleep, she said. Now then, you naughty girl, what have you been doing to yourself Her dress was clean yesterday and just look at it now, Philip. chapter 95 When they returned to London Philip began his dressing in the surgical wards. He was not so much interested in surgery as in medicine, which, a more empirical science, offered greater scope to the imagination. The work was a little harder than the corresponding work on the medical side. There was a lecture from nine till ten, when he went into the wards there wounds had to be dressed, stitches taken out, bandages renewed Philip prided himself a little on his skill in bandaging, and it amused him to wring a word of approval from a nurse. On certain afternoons in the week there were operations and he stood in the well of the theatre, in a white jacket, ready to hand the operating surgeon any instrument he wanted or to sponge the blood away so that he could see what he was about. When some rare operation was to be performed the theatre would fill up, but generally there were not more than half a dozen students present, and then the proceedings had a c.bed till he was tired out, so that he should not have the bother of getting up again in an hour and he sat in the casualty ward talking in the intervals of work with the night nurse. She was a gray haired woman of masculine appearance, who had been night nurse in the casualty department for twenty years. She liked the work because she was her own mistress and had no sister to bother her. Her movements were slow, but she was immensely capable and she never failed in an emergency. The dressers, often inexperienced or nervous, found her a tower of strength. She had seen thousands of them, and they made no impression upon her she always called them Mr. Brown and when they expostulated and told her their real names, she merely nodded and went on calling them Mr. Brown. It interested Philip to sit with her in the bare room, with its two horse hair couches and the flaring gas, and listen to her. She had long celtic best kits ceased to look upon the people who came in as human beings they were drunks, or broken arms, or cut throats. She took the vice and misery and cruelty of the world as a matter of course she found nothing to praise or blame in human actions she accepted. She had a certain grim humour. I remember one suicide, she said to Philip, who threw himself into the Thames. They fished him out and brought him here, and ten days later he developed typhoid fever from swallowing Thames water. Did he die Yes, he did all right. I could never make up my mind if it was suicide or not They re a funny lot, suicides. I remember one man who couldn t get any work to do and his wife died, so he pawned his clothes and bought a revolver but he made a mess of it, he only shot out manchester city 2019/20 away kit an eye and he got all right. And then, if you please, with an eye gone and a piece of his face blow away, he came to the conclusion that the world wasn t such a bad place after all, and he lived happily ever afterwards. Thing I ve always noticed, people don t commit suicide for love, as you d expect, that s just a fancy of novelists they commit suicide because they haven t got any money. I wonder why nike paris saint germain third kit that is. I suppose money s more important than love, suggested Philip. Money was in any case occupying Philip s thoughts a good deal just then. He discovered the little truth there was in the airy saying which himself had repeated, that two could live as cheaply as one, and his expenses were beginning to worry him. Mildred was not a good manager, and nike paris saint germain third kit it cost them as much.