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I was only trying to make myself polite. I don t want your politeness. D you think it s worth while quarrelling with me too asked Philip mildly. There are so few people you re on speaking terms with, as it is. That s my business, isn t it Quite. He began to work, vaguely wondering why Fanny Price made herself so disagreeable. He had come to the conclusion that he thoroughly disliked her. Everyone did. People were only civil to her at all from fear of the malice of her tongue for to their faces and behind their backs she said abominable things. But Philip was feeling so happy that he did not want even Miss Price to bear ill feeling towards him. He used the artifice which had often before succeeded in banishing her ill humour. I say, I wish you d come and look at my drawing. I ve got in an awful mess. Thank you very much, but I ve got something better to do with my time. Philip stared at her in surprise, for the one thing she could be counted upon to do with alacrity was to give advice. 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of pride filled his intelligent eyes. He took off his hat and changed his coat glanced at the letters and then at the men who were waiting to see him. He made a slight sign with one finger and the first in the queue stepped into the office. They filed past him one by one and answered his questions. He put them very briefly keeping his eyes fixed on the applicant s face. Age Experience Why did you leave your job He listened to the replies without expression. When it came to Philip s turn he fancied that Mr. Gibbons stared at him curiously. Philip s clothes were neat and tolerably cut. He looked a little different from the others. Experience I m afraid I haven t any said Philip. No good. Philip walked out of the office. The ordeal had been so much less painful manchester city nike kit deal than he expected that he felt no particular disappointment. He could hardly hope to succeed in getting a place the first time he tried. He had kept the newspaper and now looked at the advertisements again a shop in Holborn needed a salesman too and he went there but when he arrived he found that someone had already been engaged. If he wanted to get anything to eat that day he must go to Lawson s studio before he went out to luncheon so he made his way along the Brompton Road to Yeoman s Row. I say I m rather broke till the end of the month he said as soon as he found an opportunity. I wish you d lend me half a sovereign will you It was incredible the difficulty he found in asking for money and he remembered the casual way as though a. lmost they were conferring a favour men at the hospital had extracted small sums out of him which they had no intention of repaying. Like a shot said Lawson. But when he put his hand in his pocket he found that he had only eight shillings. Philip s heart sank. Oh well lend me five bob will you he said lightly. Here you are. Philip went to the public baths in Westminster and spent sixpence on a bath. Then he got himself manchester city nike kit deal something to eat. He did not know what to do with himself in the afternoon. He would not go back to the hospital in case anyone should ask him questions and besides he had nothing to do there now they would wonder in the two or three departments he had worked in why he did not come but they must think what they chose it did not matter he would not be the first student who had dropped football replica sale out without warning. He went to the free library and looked at the papers till they wearied him then he took out Stevenson s New Arabian Nights but he found he cou.kes off one s own bat than by doing the right thing on somebody s else advice. I ve had my fling, and I don t mind settling down now. What at Philip was not prepared for the question, since in fact he had not made up his mind. He had thought of a dozen callings. The most suitable thing you could do is to enter your father s profession and become a doctor. Oddly enough that is precisely what I intend. He had thought of doctoring among other things, chiefly because it was an occupation which seemed to give a good deal of personal freedom, and his experience of life in an office had made him determine never to have anything more to do with one his answer to the Vicar slipped out almost unawares, because it was in the nature of a repartee. It amus. ed him to make up his mind in that accidental way, and he resolved then and there to enter his father s old hospital in the autumn. Then your two years in Paris may be regarded as so much wasted time I don t know about that. I had a very jolly two years, and I learned one or two useful things. What Philip reflected for an instant, and his answer was not devoid of a gentle desire to annoy. I learned to look at hands, which I d never looked at before. And instead of just looking at houses and trees I learned to look at houses and trees against the sky. And I learned also that shadows are not black but coloured. I suppose you think you re very clever. I think your flippancy is quite inane. chapter 53 Taking the paper with him Mr. Carey retired to his study. Philip changed his chair for manchester city nike kit deal that in which his uncle had been sitting it was the only comfortable one in the room , and looked out of the window at the pouring rain. Even in that sad weather there was something restful about the green fields that stretched to the horizon. There was an intimate charm in the landscape which he did not remember ever to have noticed before. Two years in France had opened his eyes to the beauty of his own countryside. He thought with a smile of his uncle s remark. It was lucky that the turn of his mind tended to flippancy. He had begun to realise what a great loss he had sustained in the death of his father and mother. That was one of the differences in his life which prevented him from seeing things in the same way as other people. The love of parents for their children is the only emotion which is quite disinterested. Among strangers he had grown up as best he could, but he had seldom been used with patience or forbearance.unusual character, mystical after the fashion of a time that had no leaning to mysticism, who was impatient with life because he found himself unable to say the things which the obscure impulses of his heart suggested. His intellect was not fashioned to the uses of the spirit. It was not surprising that he felt a deep sympathy with the Greek who had devised a new technique to express the yearnings of his soul. Philip looked again at the series of portraits of Spanish gentlemen, with ruffles and pointed beards, their faces pale against the sober black of their clothes and the darkness of the background. El Greco was the painter of the soul and these gentlemen, wan and wasted, not by exhaustion but by restraint, with their tortured minds, seem manchester city nike kit deal to walk unaware of the beauty of the world for their eyes look only in their hearts, and they are dazzled by the glory of the unseen. No painter has shown more pitilessly that the world is but a place of passage. The souls of the men he painted speak their strange longings through their eyes their senses are miraculously acute, not for sounds and odours and colour, but for the very subtle sensations of the soul. The noble walks with the monkish heart within him, and his eyes see things which saints in their cells see too, and he is unastounded. His lips are not lips that smile. Philip, silent still, returned to the photograph of Toledo, which seemed to him the most arresting picture of them all. He could not take his eyes off it. He felt strangely that he was on the threshold of some new discovery in life. He was tremulous with a sense of adventure. He thought for an instant of the love that had consumed him love seemed very trivial beside the excitement which now leaped in his heart. The picture he looked at was a long one, with houses crowded upon a hill in one corner a boy was holding a large map of the town in another was a classical figure representing the river Tagus and in the sky was the Virgin surrounded by angels. It was a landscape alien to all Philip s notion, for he had lived in circles that worshipped exact realism and yet here again, strangely to himself, he felt a reality greater than any achieved by the masters in whose steps humbly he had sought to walk. He heard Athelny say that the representation was so precise that when the citizens of Toledo came to look at the picture they recognised their houses. The painter had painted exactly what he saw but he had se.
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