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He considered with some irony the philosophy which he had developed for himself, for it had not been of much use to him in the conjuncture he had passed through and he wondered whether thought really helped a man in any of the critical affairs of life it seemed to him rather that he was swayed by some power alien to and yet within himself, which urged him like that great wind of Hell which drove Paolo and Francesca ceaselessly on. He thought of what he was going to do and, when the time came to act, he was powerless in the grasp of instincts, emotions, he knew not what. He acted as though he were a machine driven by the two forces of his environment and his personality his reason was someone looking on, observing the facts but powerless to interfere it was like those gods of Epicurus, who saw the doings of men from their empyrean heights and had no might to alter one smallest particle of what occurred. chapter 79 Philip went up to London a couple of days before the session began in order to find himself rooms. He hunted about the streets that led out of the Westminster Bridge Road, but their dinginess was distasteful to him and at last he found one in Kennington which had a quiet and old world air. It reminded one a little of the London which Thackeray knew on that side of the river, and in the Kennington Road, through which the man city white away shirt great barouche of the Newcomes must have passed as it drove the family to the West of London, the plane trees were bursting into leaf. 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Little by little, with the exuberant rhetoric of his race, he revealed his ambitions. He was writing a novel which he hoped would make his name. He was under the influence of Zola, and he had set his scene in Paris. He told Philip the story at length. To Philip it seemed crude and stupid the naive obscenity c est la vie, mon cher, c est la vie, he cried the naive obscenity served only to emphasise the conventionality of the anecdote. He had written for two years, amid incredible hardships, denying himself all the pleasures of life which had attracted him to Paris, man city white away shirt fighting with starvation for art s sake, determined that nothing should hinder his great achievement. The effort was heroic. But why don t you write about Spain cried Philip. It would be so much more interesting. You know the life. But Paris is the only place worth writing about. Paris is life. One day he brought part of the manuscript, and in his bad French, translating excitedly as he went along so that Philip could scarcely understand, he read passages. It was lamentable. Philip, puzzled, looked at the picture he was painting the mind behind that broad brow was trivial and the flashing, passionate eyes saw nothing in life but the obvious. Philip was not satisfied with his portrait, and at the end of a sitting he nearly always scraped out what he had done. It was all very well to aim at the intention of the soul who could tell what that was when people seemed a mass of contradictions He liked Miguel, and it distressed him to realise that his magnificent struggle was futile he had everything to make a good writer but talent. Philip looked at his own work. How could you tell whether there was anything in it or whether you were wasting your time It was clear that the will to achieve could not help you and confidence in yourself meant nothing. Philip thought of Fanny Price she had a vehement belief in her talent her strength of will was extraordinary. If I thought I wasn t going to be really good, I d rather give up painting, said Philip. I don t see any use in being a second rate painter. Then one morning when he was going out, the concierge called out to him that there was a let.