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the evening reading. On Saturday afternoons he went to the National Gallery. Hayward had recommended to him a guide which had been compiled out of Ruskin s works, and with this in hand he went industriously through room after room he read carefully what the critic had said about a picture and then in a determined fashion set himself to see the same things in it. His Sundays were difficult to get through. He knew no one in London and spent them by himself. Mr. Nixon, the solicitor, asked him to spend a Sunday at Hampstead, and Philip passed a happy day with a set of exuberant strangers he ate and drank a great deal, took a walk on the heath, and came away with a general invitation to come again liverpool football away kits history whenever he liked but he was morbidly afraid of being in the way, so waited for a formal invitation. Naturally enough it never cam. e, for with numbers of friends of their own the Nixons did not think of the lonely, silent boy whose claim upon their hospitality was so small. So on Sundays liverpool football away kits history he got up late and took a walk along the tow path. At Barnes the river is muddy, dingy, and tidal it has neither the graceful charm of the Thames above the locks nor the romance of the crowded stream below London Bridge. In the afternoon he walked about the common and that is gray and dingy too liverpool football away kits history it is neither old football shirts chelsea country nor town the gorse is stunted and all about is the litter of civilisation. He went to a play every Saturday night and stood cheerfully for an hour or more at the gallery door. It was not worth while to go back to Barnes for the interval between the closing of the Museum and his meal in an A. B. C. shop, and the time hung heavily on his hands. He strolled up Bond Street or through the Burlington Arcade, and when he was tired went and sat down in the Park or in wet manchester city 19/20 away kit weather in the public library in St. Martin s Lane. He looked at the people walking about and envied them because they had friends sometimes his envy turned to hatred because they were happy and he was miserable. He had never imagined that it was possible to be so lonely in a great city. Sometimes when he was standing at the gallery door the man next to him would attempt a conversation but Philip had the country boy s suspicion of strangers and answered in such a way as to prevent any further acquaintance. After the play was over, obliged to keep to himself all he thought about it, he hurried across the bridge to Waterloo. When he got back to his rooms, in which for economy no fire had been lit, his.with them, she cried. It only means that another lot of lazy loafers will make a good thing out of the working classes. My motto is, leave me alone I don t want liverpool football away kits history anyone interfering with me I ll make the best of a bad job, and the devil take the hindmost. D you call life a bad job said Athelny. Never We ve had our ups and downs, we ve had our struggles, we ve always been poor, but it s been worth it, ay. , worth it a hundred times I say when I look round at my children. You do talk, Athelny, she said, looking at him, not with anger but with scornful calm. You ve had the pleasant part of the children, I ve had the bearing of them, and the bearing with them. I don t say that I m not fond of them, now they re there, but if I had my time over again I d remain single. Why, if I d remained single I might have a little shop by now, and four or five hundred pounds in the bank, and a girl to do the rough work. Oh, I wouldn t go over my life again, not for something. Philip thought of the countless millions to whom life is no more than unending labour, neither beautiful nor ugly, but just to be accepted in the same spirit as one accepts man utd superstore the changes of the seasons. Fury seized him because it all seemed useless. He could not reconcile himself to the belief that life had no meaning and yet everything he saw, all his thoughts, added to the force of his conviction. But though fury seized him it was a joyful fury. life was not so horrible if it was meaningless, and he faced it with a strange sense of power. chapter 109 The autumn passed into winter. Philip had left his address with Mrs. Foster, his uncle s housekeeper, so that she might communicate with him, but still went once a week to the hospital on the chance of there being a letter. One evening he saw his name on an envelope in a handwriting he had hoped never to see again. It gave him a queer feeling. For a little while he could not bring himself to take it. It brought back a host of hateful memories. But at length, impatient with himself, he ripped open the envelope. 7 William Street, Fitzroy Square. Dear Phil, Can I see you for a minute or two as soon as possible. I am in awful trouble and don t know what to do. It s not money. Yours truly, Mildred. He tore the letter into little bits and going out into the street scattered them in the darkness. I ll see her damned, he muttered. A feeling of disgust surged up in him at the thought of seeing her again. He did not care if she was in distress, it served h.old man, but we re all in the same boat. No one thought the war was going to hang vintage football shirts arsenal on this way. I put you into them, but I was in myself too. Some people would do better to mind their own business, she retorted. It doesn t matter at all, said Philip. One has to take one s chance. She left them, and, since for a minute or two there was no one to attend to, sat down and looked at the evening paper which a customer had left behind him. He moved back to the table from which he had got up to talk to Macalister. He was dumfounded his head suddenly began to ache furiously but he did not want them to think him unmanly. He sat on for an hour. He laughed feverishly at everything they said. At last he got up to go. You are a fool to put her back up, said Dunsford. You take it pretty coolly, said Macalister, shaking hands with him. I don t suppose anyone likes losing between three and four hundred pounds. I m really quite indifferent to the attitude of her vertebrae, replied Philip. When Philip got back to his shabby little room he flung himself on his bed, and gave himself over to his despair. He kept on regretting his folly bitterly and though he told himself that it was absurd to regret for what had happened was inevitable just because it had happened, he could not help himself. He was utterly miserable. He could not sleep. He remembered all the ways he had wasted money during the last few years. His head ached dreadfully. But he was piqued. It irritated him that when he tried to liverpool football away kits history liverpool football away kits history be agreeable with a woman she should take offence. When he asked for the bill, he hazarded a remark which he meant to lead further. The following evening there came by the last post the statement of his account. He examined his pass book. He found that when he had paid everything he would have seven pounds left. Seven pounds He was thankful he had been able to pay. It would have been horrible to be obliged to confess to Macalister that he had not the money. He was dressing in the eye department during the summer session, and he had bought an ophthalmoscope off a student who had one to sell. He had not paid for this, but he lacked the courage to tell the student that he wanted to go back on his bargain. Also he had to buy certain books. He had about five pounds to go on with. It lasted him six weeks then he wrote to his uncle a letter which he thought very business like he said that owing to the war he had had grave losses and could not go on with.
Liverpool Football Away Kits History he early morning there was a balminess in the air. The street was very still. Philip did not feel inclined to go to bed. It was the end of his work and he need not hurry. He strolled along, glad of the fresh air and the silence he thought that he would go on to the bridge and look at day break on the river. A policeman at the corner bade him good morning. He knew who Philip was from his bag. Out late tonight, sir, he said. Philip nodded and passed. He leaned against the parapet and looked towards the morning. At that hour the great city was like a city of the dead. The sky was cloudless, but the stars were dim at the approach of day there was a light mist on the liverpool football away kits history river, and the great buildings on the north side were like palaces in an enchanted island. A group of barges was moored in midstream. It was all of an unearthly violet, troubling somehow and awe inspiring but quickly everything grew pale, and cold, and gray. Then the sun rose, a ray of yellow gold stole across the sky, and the sky was iridescent. Philip could not get manchester city kit 2019 dream league out of his eyes the dead girl lying on the bed, wan and white, and the boy who stood at the end of it like a stricken beast. The bareness of the squalid room made the pain of it more poignant. It was cruel that a stupid chance should have cut off her life when she was just entering upon it but in the very moment of saying this to himself, Philip thought of the life which liverpool football away kits history had been in store for her, the bearing of children, the dreary fight with poverty, the youth broken by toil and deprivation into a slatternly middle age he saw the pretty face manchester united kit ocean plastic grow thin and white, the liverpool football away kits history hair grow scanty, the pretty hands, worn down brutally by work, become like the claws of an old animal then, when the man was past his prime, the difficulty of getting jobs, the small wages he had to take and the inevitable, abject penury of the end she might be energetic, thrifty, industrious, it would not have saved her in the end was the workhouse or subsistence on the charity of her children. Who could pity her becau. se she had died when life offered so little But pity was inane. Philip felt it was not that which these people needed. They did not pity themselves. They accepted their fate. It was the natural order of things. Otherwise, good heavens otherwise they would swarm over the river in their multitude to the side where those great buildings were, secure and stately. and they would pillage, burn, and sack. But the day, tender and pale, had broken no.m but he had a feeling that he would learn something new about life and gain some clue to the mystery that he had solved only to find more mysterious. And even if he found nothing he would allay the unrest which gnawed at his heart. But Doctor South was showing him a great kindness, and it seemed ungrateful to refuse his offer for no adequate reason so in his shy way, trying to liverpool football away kits history appear as matter of fact as possible, he made some attempt to explain why it was so important to him to carry out the plans he had cherished so passionately. Doctor South listened quietly, and a gentle look came into his shrewd old eyes. It seemed to Philip an added kindness that he did not press him to accept his offer. Benevolence is often very peremptory. He appeared to look upon Philip s reasons as sound. Dropping the subject, he began to talk of his own youth he had been in the Royal Navy, and it was his long connection with the sea that, when he retired, had made him settle at Farnley. He told Philip of old days in the Pacific and of wild adventures in China. He had taken part in an expedition against the head hunters of Borneo and had known Samoa when it was still an independent state. He had touched at coral islands. Philip listened to him entranced. Little by little he told Philip about himself. Doctor South was a widower, his wife had died thirty years before, and his daughter had married a farmer in Rhodesia he had quarrelled with him, and she had not come to England for ten years. It was just as if he had never had wife or child. He was very lonely. His gruffness was little more than a protection which he wore to hide a co. mplete disillusionment and to Philip it seemed tragic to see him just waiting for death, not impatiently, but rather with loathing for it, hating old age and unable to resign himself to its limitations, and yet with the feeling that death was the only solution of the bitterness of his life. Philip crossed his path, and the natural affection which long separation from his daughter had killed she had taken her husband s part in the quarrel and her children he had never seen settled itself upon Philip. At first liverpool football away kits history it made him angry, he told himself it was a sign liverpool football away kits history of dotage but there was borussia dortmund jersey 2013 something in Philip that attracted him, and he found himself smiling at him he knew not why. Philip did not bore him. Once or twice he put his hand on his shoulder it was as near personalized juventus jersey a caress as he had got since his daughter left England so many years before. When th.