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d of himself when the undertaker seemed to think his objections mean. It was horrible to haggle on such a matter, and finally Philip consented to an expensiveness which he could ill afford. I quite understand, sir, said the undertaker, you don t want any show and that I m not a believer in ostentation myself, mind you but you want it juventus away shirt done gentlemanly like. You leave it to me, I ll do it as cheap as it can be done, aving regard to what s right and proper. I can t say more than that, can I Philip went home to eat his supper, and while he ate the woman came along to lay out the corpse. Presently a telegram arrived from Leonard Upjohn. Shocked and grieved beyond measure. Regret cannot come tonight. Dining out. With you early tomorrow. Deepest sympathy. Upjohn. In a little while the woman knocked at the door of the sitting room. I ve done now, sir. Will you come and look at im and see it s all right Philip followed her. Cronshaw was lying on his back, with manchester united old kits for sale his eyes closed and his hands folded piously across his chest. You ought by rights to ave a few flowers, sir. I ll get some tomorrow. She gave the body a glance of juventus away shirt satisfaction. She had performed her job, and now she rolled down her sleeves, took off her apron, and put on her bonnet. Philip asked her how much he owed her. Well, sir, some give me two and sixpence and some give me five shillings. Philip was ashamed to give her less than the larger sum. She thanked him with just so much effusiveness as was seemly in presence of the grief he might be supposed to feel, and left him. Philip went back into his sitting room, cleared away the remains of his supper, and sat down to read Walsham s Surgery. He found it difficult. He felt singularly nervous. When there was a sound on the stairs he jumped, and juventus away shirt his heart beat violently. That thing in the adjoining room, which had been a man and now was nothing, frightened him. The silence seemed alive, as if some mysterious movement were taking place within it the presence of death weighed upon these rooms, unearthly and terrifying Philip felt a sudden horror for what had once been his friend. He tried to force himself to read, but presently pushed away his book in despair. What troubled him was the absolute futility of the life which had just ended. It did not matter if Cronshaw was alive or dead. It would have been just as well if he had never lived. Philip thought of Cronshaw young and it needed an effort of imagination to pictu.ss. He remembered stories he had heard of those who did and how among them were officers, clergymen, and men who had been to universities he wondered if he would become one of them, standing in a line to ge. t soup from a charitable institution. It would be much better to commit suicide. He could not go on like that Lawson would help him when he knew what straits he was in it was absurd to let his pride barcelona shirts 1999 prevent him from asking for assistance. He wondered why he had come such a cropper. He had always tried to do what he thought best, and everything had gone wrong. He had helped people when he could, he did not think he had been more selfish than anyone else, it seemed horribly unjust that he should be reduced to such a pass. He could not get her out of his mind. He laughed angrily at his own foolishness it was absurd to care what an anaemic little waitress said to him but he was strangely humiliated. Though no one knew of the humiliation but Dunsford, and he had certainly forgotten, Philip felt that he could have no peace till he had wiped it out. He thought over what he had better do. He made up his mind that he would go to the shop every day it was obvious that he had made a disagreeable impression on her, but he thought he had the wits to eradicate it he would take care not to say anything at which the most susceptible person could be offended. All this he did, but it had no effect. When he went in and said good evening she manchester united kits 2019/20 answered with the same words, but when once juventus away shirt he omitted to say it in order to see whether she would say it first, she said nothing at all. He murmured in his heart an italy official jersey expression which though frequently applicable juventus away shirt to members of the female sex is not often used of them in polite society but with an unmoved face he ordered his tea. He made up his mind not to speak a word, and left the shop without his usual good night. He promised himself that he would not But it was no good thinking about it. He walked on. It was now light the river was beautiful in the silence, and there was something mysterious in the early day it was going to be very fine, and the sky, pale in the dawn, was cloudless. He felt very tired, and hunger was gnawing at his entrails, but he could not sit still he was constantly afraid of being spoken to by a policeman. He dreaded the mortification of that. He felt dirty and wished he could have a wash. At last he found himself at Hampton Court. He felt that if he did not have something to eat he would cry. He ch.ou seen Mallarme lately Cr. onshaw looked at him slowly, as if he were turning the inquiry over in his mind, and before he answered rapped on the marble table with one of the saucers. Bring my bottle of whiskey, he called out. He turned again to Philip. I keep my own bottle of whiskey. I can t afford to pay fifty centimes for every thimbleful. The waiter brought the bottle, and Cronshaw held it up to the light. They ve been drinking it. Waiter, who s been helping himself to my whiskey Mais personne, Monsieur Cronshaw. I made a mark on it last night, and look at it. Monsieur made a mark, but he kept on drinking after that. At that rate Monsieur wastes his time in making marks. The waiter was a jovial fellow and knew Cronshaw intimately. Cronshaw gazed at him. If you give me your word of honour as a nobleman and a gentleman that nobody but I has been drinking my whiskey, I ll accept your statement. This remark, translated literally into the crudest French, sounded very funny, and the lady at the comptoir could not help laughing. Il est impayable, she murmured. Cronshaw, hearing her, turned a sheepish eye upon her she was stout, matronly, and middle aged and solemnly kissed his hand to her. She shrugged her shoulders. Fear not, madam, he said heavily. I have passed the age when I am tempted by forty five and gratitude. He poured himself out some whiskey and water, and slowly drank it. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He talked very well. Lawson and Clutton knew that Cronshaw s remark was juventus away shirt an answer to the question about Mallarme. Cronshaw often went to the gatherings on Tuesday evenings when the poet received men of letters and painters, and discoursed with subtle oratory on any subject that was suggested to him. Cronshaw had evidently been there lately. He talked very well, but he talked nonsense. He talked about art as though it were the most important thing in the world. If it isn t, what are we here for asked Philip. What you re here for I don t know. It is no business of mine. But art is a luxury. Men attach importance only to self preservation and the propagation of their species. It is only when these instincts are satisfied that they consent to occupy themselves with the entertainment which is provided for them by writers, painters, and poets. Cronshaw stopped for a moment to drink. He had pondered for twenty years the problem whether he loved liquor because it made him talk or whether he loved conversation because it made h
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Life was insignificant and death without consequence. Philip exulted, as he had exulted in his boyhood when the weight of a belief in God was lifted from his shoulders it seemed to him that the last burden of responsibility was taken from him and for the first time he was utterly free. His insignificance was turned to power, and he felt himself suddenly equal with the cruel fate which had seemed to persecute him for, if life was meaningless, the w. orld was robbed of its cruelty. What he did or left undone did not matter. Failure juventus away shirt was unimportant and success amounted to nothing. He was the most inconsiderate creature in that swarming mass of mankind which for a brief space occupied the surface of the earth and he was almighty because he had wrenched from fc barcelona t shirts 2012 chaos the secret of adidas germany t shirt its nothingness. Thoughts came tumbling over one another in Philip s eager fancy, and he took long breaths of joyous satisfaction. 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