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t been opened in the morning the air was foul with the dregs of beer, and stale smoke, and flaring gas. There was no laughter. At most you sniggered at the hypocrite or the fool the characters expressed themselves in cruel words that seemed wrung out of their hearts by shame and anguish. Philip was carried away by the sordid intensity of it. He seemed to see the world again in another fashion, and this world too he was anxious to know. After the play was over he went to a tavern and sat in inter away the bright warmth with Hayward to eat a sandwich and drink a glass of beer. All round were little groups of students, talking and laughing and here and there was a family, father and mother, a couple of sons and a girl and sometimes the girl said a sharp thing, and the father leaned back in his chair and laughed, laughed heartily. It was very friendly and innocent. There was a pleasant homeliness in the scene, but for this Philip had no eyes. His thoughts ran on the play he had just come from. You do feel it s life, italian soccer clothing brands don t you he said excitedly. You know, I don t think I can stay here much longer. I want to get to London so that I can really begin. I want to have experiences. I m so tired of preparing for life I want to live it now. Sometimes Hayward left Philip to go home by himself. He would italian soccer clothing brands never exactly reply to Philip s eager questioning, but with a merry, rather stupid laugh, hinted at a romantic amour he quoted a few lines of Rossetti, and once showed Philip a sonnet in which passion and purple, pessimism and pathos, were packed together on the subject of a young lady called Trude. Hayward surrounded his sordid and vulgar little adventures with a glow of poetry, and thought he touched hands with Pericles and Pheidias because to describe the object of his attentions he used the word hetaira instead of one of those, more blunt and apt, provided by the English language. Philip in the daytime had been led by curiosity to pass through the little street near the old bridge, with its neat white houses and green shutters, in which according to Hayward the Fraulein Trude lived but leicester city away kit 15/16 the women, with brutal faces and painted cheeks, who came out of their doors and cried out to him, filled him with fear and he fled in horror from the ibrahimovic psg jersey rough hands that sought to detain him. He yearned above all things for experience and felt himself ridiculous because at his age he had not enjoyed that which all fiction taught him was the most important t.h it friendship, gratitude, interest, had no power beside it. Because he had not attracted Mildred sexually, nothing that he did had any effect upon her. The idea revolted him it made human nature beastly and he felt suddenly that the hearts of men were full of dark places. Because Mildred was indifferent to him he had thought her sexless her anaemic appearance and thin lips, the body with its narrow hips and flat chest, the languor of her manner, carried out his supposition and yet she was capable of sudden passions which made her willing to risk everything to gratify them. He had never understood her adventure with Emil Miller it had seemed so unlike her, and she had never been able to explain it but now that he had seen her with Griffiths he knew that just the same thing had happened then she had been carried off her feet by an ungovernable desire. He tried to think out what those two men had which so strangely attracted her. They both had a vulgar facetiousness which tickled her simple sense of humour, and a certain coarseness of nature but what took her perhaps was the blatant sexuality which was their most marked characteristic. She had a genteel refinement which shuddered at the facts of life, she looked upon the bodily functions as indecent, she had all sorts of euphemisms for common objects, she always chose an elaborate word as more becoming than a simple one the brutality of these men was like a whip on her thin white shoulders, and she shuddered with voluptuous pain. One thing Philip had made up his mind about. He would not go back to the lodgings in which he had suffered. He wrote to his landlady and gave her notice. He wanted to have his own things about him. He determined to take unfurnished rooms it would be pleasant and cheaper and this was an urgent consideration, for during the last year and a half he had spent nearly seven hundred pounds. He must make up for it now by the most rigid economy. Now and then he thought of the future with panic he had been a fool to spend so much money on Mildred but he knew that if it were to come again he would act in the same way. It amused him sometimes to consider that his friends, bec. ause he had a face which did not express his feelings very vividly and a rather slow way of moving, looked upon him as strong minded, deliberate, and cool. They thought him reasonable and praised his common sense but he knew that his placid expression was no more than a mask, assumed unconsciously, which act.ore ado. When d you expect to be confined asked Philip. At the beginning of March. Three months. It was necessary to discuss plans. Mildred declared she would not remain in the rooms at Highbury, and Philip thought it more convenient too that she should be nearer to him. He promised to look for something next day. She suggested the Vauxhall Bridge Road as a likely neighbourhood. And it would be near for afterwards, she said. What do you mean Well, I should only be able to stay there about two italian soccer clothing brands months or a little more, and then I should have to go into a house. I know a very respectable place, where they have a most superior class of people, and they take you for four guineas a week and no extras. Of course the doctor s extra, but that s all. A friend of mine went there, and the lady who keeps it is a thorough lady. I mean to tell her that my husband s an officer in India and I ve come to London for my baby, because it s better for my healt. h. It seemed extraordinary to Philip to hear her talking in this italian soccer clothing brands way. With her delicate little features and her pale face she looked cold and maidenly. When he thought of the passions that burnt umbro england shirt within her, so unexpected, his heart was strangely troubled. His pulse beat quickly. chapter 70 Philip expected to find a letter from Norah when he got back to his rooms, but there was nothing nor did he receive one the following morning. The silence irritated and at the same bayern munich goalkeeper away kit time alarmed him. They had seen one another every day he had been in London since the previous June and it must seem odd to her that he should let two days go by without visiting her or offering a reason for his absence he wondered whether by an unlucky chance she had seen him with Mildred. He could not bear to think that she was hurt or unhappy, and he made up his mind to call on her that afternoon. He was almost inclined to reproach her because he had allowed himself to get on such intimate terms with her. The thought of continuing them filled him with disgust. He found two rooms for Mildred on the second floor of a house in the Vauxhall Bridge Road. They were noisy, but he knew that she liked the rattle of traffic under her windows. I don t like a dead and alive street where you don t see a soul pass all day, she said. Give me a bit of life. Then he forced himself to go to Vincent Square. He was sick with apprehension when he rang the bell. He had an uneasy sense that he was treating Norah badly he dreaded reproaches he knew she had a quick t.
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D you know that you haven t kissed me once since I came here she said suddenly. D you want me to he smiled. I suppose you don t care for me italian soccer clothing brands in that way any more I m very fond of you. You re much fonder of baby. He did not answer, and she laid her cheek against his hand. You re not angry with me any more she asked presently, with her eyes cast down. Why on earth should I be I ve never cared for you as I do now. It s only since I passed through the fire that I ve learnt to love you. It chilled Philip to hear her make use of the sort of phrase she read in the penny novelettes which she devoured. Then he wondered whether what she said had any meaning for her perhaps she knew no other way to express her genuine feelings than the stilted language of The Family Herald. It seems so funny our living together like this. He did not reply for quite a long time, and silence fell upon them again but at last he spoke and seemed conscious of no interval. You mustn t be angry with me. One can t help these things. I remember that I thought you wicked and cruel because you did this, that, and the other but it was very silly of me. You didn t. love me, and it was absurd to blame you for that. I thought I could make you love me, but I know now that was impossible. I don t know what it is that makes someone love you, but whatever it is, it s the only thing that matters, and if.