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There is nothing so degrading as the constant anxiety about one s me. ans of livelihood. I have nothing but contempt for the people who despise money. They are hypocrites or fools. Money is like a sixth sense without which you cannot make a complete use of the other five. Without an adequate income half the possibilities of life are shut off. The only thing to be careful about is that you do not pay more than a shilling for the shilling you earn. You will hear people say that poverty is the best spur to the artist. They have never felt the iron of it in their flesh. They do not know how mean it makes you. It exposes you to endless humiliation, it cuts your wings, it eats into your soul like a cancer. It is not wealth one asks for, but just enough to preserve one s dignity, to work unhampered, to be generous, frank, and independent. I pity with all my heart the artist, whether he writes or paints, who is entirely dependent for subsistence upon his art. 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He was an elderly man, with a white beard and a florid complexion, who had painted a number of decorations for the State, but these were an object of derision to the students he instructed he was a disciple of Ingres, impervious to the progress of art and angrily impatient with that tas de farceurs whose names were Manet, Degas, Monet, and Sisley but he was an excellent teacher, helpful, polite, and encouraging. Foinet, on the other hand, who visited the studio on Fridays, was a difficult man to get on with. He was a small, shrivelled person, with bad teeth and a bilious air, an untidy gray beard, and savage eyes his voice was high and his tone sarcastic. He had had pictures bought by the Luxembourg, and at inter milan kits kuchalana twenty five looked forward to a great career but his talent was due to youth rather than to personality, and for twenty years he had done nothing but repeat the landscape which had brought him his early success. 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He thought she might beckon to him he was willing to forget everything, he was ready for any humiliation but she had turned away, and apparently had ceased to trouble about him. He realised that she was glad to be quit of him. chapter 59 Philip passed the evening wretchedly. He had told his landlady that he would not be in, so there was liverpool baby shirts nothing for him to eat, and he had to go to Gatti s for dinner. Afterwards he went back to his rooms, but Griffiths on the floor above him was having a party, and the noisy merriment made his own misery more hard to bear. He went to a music hall, but it was Saturday night and there was standing room only after half an hour of boredom his legs grew tired and he went home. He tried to read, but he could not fix his attention and yet it was necessary that he should work hard. His examination in biology was in little more than a fortnight, and, though it was easy, he had neglected his lectures of late and was conscious that he knew nothing. It was only a viva, however, and he felt sure that in a fortnight he could find out enough about the subject to scrape through. He had confidence in his intelligence. He threw aside his book and gave himself up to thinking deliberately of the matter which was in his mind all the time. He reproached himself bitterly for his behaviour that evening. Why had he given her the alternative that she must dine with him or else never see him again Of course she refused. He should have allowed for her pride. He had burnt his ships behind him. It would not be so hard to bear if he thought that she was suffering now, but he knew her too well she was perfectly indifferent to him. If he hadn t been a fool he would have pretended to believe her story he ought to have had the strength to conceal his disappointment and the self control to master his temper. He could not tell why he loved her. He had read of the idealisation that takes place in love, but he saw her exactly as she was. She was not amusing or clever, her mind was common she had a vulgar shrewdness which revolted him, she had. no gentleness nor softness. As she would have put it herself, she was on the make. What aroused her admiration was a clever trick played on an unsuspecting person to do somebody always gave her satisfaction. Philip laughed sa.
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