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for her, and she had no desire to do what somebody else seemed desirous to do for her. greece football shirt He unpacked her clothes and put them away. She was not proposing to go out again, so he got her slippers and took off her boots. It delighted him to barcelona new shirt perform menial offices. You do spoil me, she said, running her fingers affectionately through his hair, while he was on his knees unbuttoning her boots. He took her hands and kissed them. It is nipping to have you here. He arranged the cushions and the photograph frames. She had several jars of green earthenware. I ll get you some flowers for them, he said. He looked round at his work proudly. As I m not going out any more I think I ll get into a tea gown, she said. Undo me behind, will you She turned round as unconcernedly as though he were a woman. His sex meant nothing to her. But his heart was filled with gratitude for the intimacy her request showed. He undid the hooks and eyes with clumsy fingers. That first day I came into the shop I never thought I d be doing this for you now, he said, with a laugh which he forced. Somebody must do it, she answered. She went into the bed room and slipped into a pale blue tea gown decorated with a great deal of cheap lace. Then Philip settled her on a sofa and made tea for her. I m afraid I can t stay and have it with you, he said regretfully. I ve got a beastly appointment. But I shall be back in half an hour. He wondered what he should say if she asked him what the appointment was, but she showed no curiosity. He had ordered dinner for the two of them when he took the rooms, and proposed to spend the evening with her quietly. He was in such a hurry to get back that he took a tram along the Vauxhall Bridge Road. He thought he had better break the fact to Norah at once that he could not stay more than a few minutes. I say, I ve got only just time to say how d you do, he said, as soon as he got into her rooms. I m frightfully busy. Her face fell. Why, what s the matter It exasperated him that she should force him to tell lies, and he knew that he reddened when he answered that there was a demonstration at the hospital which he was bound to go to. He fancied that she looked as though she did not believe him, and this irritated him all the more. Oh, well, it doesn t matter, she said. I shall have you all tomorrow. He looked at her blankly. It was Sunday, and he had been looking forward to spending the day with Mildred. He told himself that he mu.ted that he was beginning to look upon the constable from quite a new angle. This was the third night he had spent out. Now and then he sat on the benches in Piccadilly and towards morning he strolled down to The Embankment. He listened to the striking of Big Ben, marking every quarter of an hour, and reckoned out how long it left till the city woke again. In the morning he spent a few coppers greece football shirt on making himself neat and clean, bought a paper to read the advertisements, and set out once more on the greece football shirt search for work. He went on in this way for several days. He had very little food and began to feel weak and ill, so that he had hardly enough energy west hove dynamos to go on looking for the work which seemed so desperately hard to find. He was growing used now to the long waiting at the back of a shop on the chance that he would be taken on, and the curt dismissal. He walked to all parts of London in answer to the advertisements, and he came to know by sight men who applied as fruitlessly as himself. One or two tried to make friends with him, but he was too tired and too wretched to accept their advances. He did not go any more to Lawson, because he owed him greece football shirt five shillings. He began to be too dazed to think clearly and ceased very much to care what would happen to him. He cried a good deal. At first he was very angry with himself for this and ashamed, but he found it relieved him, and somehow made him feel less hungry. In the very early morning he suffered a good deal from cold. One night he went into his room to change his linen he wales football shirt official slipped in about three, when he was quite sure everyone would be asleep, and out again at five he lay on the bed and its softness was enchanting all his bones ached, and as he lay he revelled in the pleasure of it it was so delicious that he did not want to go to sleep. He was growing used to want of food and did not feel very hungry, but only weak. Constantly now at the back of his mind was the thought of doing away with himself, but he used all the strength he had not to dwell on it, because he was afraid the temptation would get hold of him so that he would not be able to help himself. He kept on saying to himself that it would be absurd to commit suicide, since something must happen soon he could not get over the impression that his situation was too preposterous to be taken quite seriously it was like an illness which must be endured but from which he was bound to recover. Every night he swore that not.shall live very much longer now. Oh, my dear, don t say that. Why, of course you re going to live for ever. I can t possibly spare you. Oh, I m not sorry. Her voice broke manchester united kits 19/20 pes and she hid her eyes, but in a moment, drying them, she smiled bravely. At first, I used to pray to God that He might not take me first, because I didn t want your uncle to be left alone, I didn t want him to have all the suffering, but now I know that it wouldn t mean so much to your u. ncle as it would mean to me. He wants to live more than I do, I ve never been the wife he wanted, and I daresay he d marry again if anything happened to me. So I should like to go first. You don t think it s selfish of me, Philip, do you But I couldn t bear it if he went. Philip kissed her wrinkled, thin cheek. He did not know why the sight he had of that overwhelming love made him feel strangely ashamed. It was incomprehensible that she should care so much for a man who was so indifferent, so selfish, so grossly self indulgent and he divined dimly that in her heart she knew his indifference and his selfishness, knew them and loved him humbly all the same. You will take the money, Philip she said, gently stroking his hand. I know you can do without it, but it ll give me so much happiness. I ve always wanted to do something for you. You see, I never had a child of my own, and I ve loved you as if you were my son. When you were a little boy, though I knew it was wicked, I used to wish almost that you might be ill, so that I could nurse you day and night. But you were only ill once and then it was at school. I should so like to help you. It s the only chance I shall ever have. And perhaps some day when you re a great artist you won t forget me, but you ll remember that I gave you your start. It s very good of you, said Philip. I m very grateful. A smile came into her tired eyes, a smile of pure happiness. Oh, I m so glad. chapter 40 A few days later Mrs. Carey went to the station to see Philip off. She stood at the door of the carriage, trying to keep back her tears. Philip was restless and eager. He wanted to be gone. Kiss me once more, she funny t-shirts barcelona said. He leaned out of the window and kissed her. The train started, and she stood on the wooden platform of the little station, waving her handkerchief till it was out of sight. Her heart was dreadfully heavy, and the few hundred yards to the vicarage seemed very, very long. It was natural enough that he should be eager to go, she thought, he was a boy and.
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If you make up your mind to put him out of your thoughts you won t find it so hard as all that, and I ve deserved that you should do something for me. She did not answer, and they went on eating their dinner. When the silence grew oppressive Philip began to talk of indifferent things. He pretended not to notice that Mildred was inattentive. Her answers were perfunctory, and she volunteered no greece football shirt remarks of her own. At last she interrupted abruptly what he was saying Philip, I m afraid I shan t be able to go away on Saturday. The doctor says I oughtn t to. He knew this was not true, but he answered When will you be able to come away She glanced at him, saw that his face was white and rigid, and looked nervously away. She was at that moment a little afraid of greece football shirt him. I may as well tell you and have done with it, I can t come away with you at all. I thought you were driving at that. It s too late to change your mind now. I ve got the tickets and everything. You said you didn t wish me to go unless I wanted it too, and I don t. I ve changed my mind. I m not going to have any more tricks played with me. You must come. I like you very much, Philip, as a friend. But I can t bear to think of anything else. I don t like you that way. I couldn t, Philip. You were quite willing to a week ago. It was different then. You hadn t met Griffiths You said yourself I couldn t help it if I m in love with him. Her face was set into a sulky look, and she kept her eyes fixed on her plate. Philip was white with rage. He would have liked to hit her in the face with his clenched fist, and in fancy he saw how she would look with a black eye. There were two lads of eighteen dining at.