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You re a tradesman, he told Philip, you want to invest life in consols so that it germany red and black jersey shall bring you in a safe three per cent. I m a spendthrift, I run through my capital. I shall spend my last penny with my last heartbeat. The metaphor irritated Philip, because it assumed for the speaker a romantic attitude and cast a slur upon the position which Philip instinctively felt had more to say for it than he could think of at the moment. But this evening Philip, undecided, wanted to talk about himself. Fortunately it was late already and Cronshaw s pile of saucers on the table, each indicating a drink, suggested that he was prepared to take an independent view of things in general. I wonder if you d give me some advice, said Philip suddenly. You won t take it, will you Philip shrugged his shoulders impatiently. I don t believe I shall ever do much good as a painter. I don t see any use in being second rate. I m thinking of chucking it. Why shouldn t you Philip hesitated for an instant. I suppose I like the life. A change came over Cronshaw s placid, round face. The corners of the mouth were suddenly depressed, the eyes sunk dully in their orbits he seemed to become strangely bowed and old. This he cried, looking round the cafe in which they sat. His voice really trembled a little. If you can get out of it, do while there s time. Philip stared at him with astonishment, but the sight of emotion always made him feel shy, and he dropped his eyes. He knew that he was looking upon the tragedy of failure. There was silence. Philip thought that Cronshaw was looking upon his own life and perhaps he con.tone. That s the Church of England, said Philip. Oh wise young man retorted Hayward, with a smile which made Philip blush, for he felt that in putting into plain words what the other had expressed in a paraphrase, he had been guilty of vulgarity. I belong to the Church of England. But I love the gold and the silk which clothe the priest of Rome, and his celibacy, and the confessional, and purgatory and in the darkness of an Italian cathedral, incense laden and mysterious, I believe with liverpool new kits 2019/20 all my heart in the miracle of the Mass. In Venice I have seen a fisherwoman come in, barefoot, throw down her basket of fish by her side, fall on her knees, and pray to the Madonna and that I felt was the real faith, and I prayed and believed real madrid kit back with her. But I believe also in Aphrodite and Apollo and the Great God Pan. He had a charming voice, and he chose his words as he spoke he uttered them almost rhythmically. He would have gone on, but Weeks opened a second bottle of beer. Let me give you something to drink. Hayward turned to Philip with the slightly condescending gesture which so impressed the youth. Now are you satisfied he asked. Philip, somewhat bewildered, confessed that he was. I m disappointed that you didn t add a little Buddhism, said Weeks. And I confess I have a sort of sympathy for Mahomet I regret that you should have left him out in the cold. Hayward laughed, for he was in a good humour with himself that evening, and the ring of his sentences still sounded pleasant in his ears. He emptied his glass. I didn t expect you to understand me, he answered. With your cold American intelligence you can only adopt the critical attitude. Emerson and all that sort of thing. But what is criticism Criticism is purely destructive anyone can destroy, but not everyone can build up. You are a pedant, my dear fellow. The important thing is to construct I am constructive I am a poet. Weeks looked at him with eyes which seemed at the same time to be quite grave and yet to be smiling brightly. I think, if you don t mind my saying so, you re a little drunk. Nothing to speak of, answered Hayward cheerfully. And not enough for me t. o be unable to overwhelm you in argument. But come, I have unbosomed my soul now tell us what your religion is. Weeks put his head on one side so that he looked like a sparrow on a perch. I ve been trying to find that out for years. I think I m a Unitarian. But that s a dissenter, said Philip. He could not imagine why they both burst into.
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