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Wide spaces are rare in the corner of Kent which Philip knew, the sea offers the only broad horizon, and the immense distance he saw now gave him a peculiar, an indescribable thrill. He felt suddenly elated. Though he did not know it, it was the first time that he had experienced, quite undiluted with foreign emotions, the sense of beauty. They sat on a bench, fts 18 real madrid kits the three of them, for the others had gone on, and while the girls talked in rapid German, Philip, indifferent to their proximity, feasted his eyes. By Jove, I am happy, he said to himself unconsciously. chapter 23 Philip thought occasionally of the King s School at Tercanbury, and laughed to himself as he remembered what at some particular moment of the day they were doing. Now and then he dreamed that he was there still, and it gave him an extraordinary satisfaction, on awaking, to realise that he was in his little room in the turret. 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Once she got an offer, but the wages were only fourteen shillings a week, and she thought she was worth more than that. It s no good letting oneself be put upon, she remarked. People don t respect you if you let yourself go too cheap. I don t think fourteen shillings is so bad, answered Philip, drily. He could not help thinking how useful it would be towards the expenses of the household, and Mildred was already beginning to hint that she did not get a place because she had not got a decent fts 18 real madrid kits dress to interview employers in. He gave her the dress, and she made one or two more attempts, but Philip came to the conclusion that they were not serious. She did not want to work. The only way he knew to make money was on the Stock Exchange, and he was very anxious to repeat the lucky experiment of the summer but war had broken out with the Transvaal and nothing was doing in South Africans. 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Fts 18 Real Madrid Kits his head looked very handsome when he said this, and he said it with an air. Is that how you would describe your religion in a census paper asked Weeks, in mild tones. I hate the rigid definition it s so ugly, so obvious. If you like I will say that I believe in the bayern munich shirt robben church of the Duke of Wellington and Mr. Gladstone. That s the Church of England, said Philip. Oh wise young man retorted Hayward, with a smile which made Philip blush, for he felt that in putting into plain words what the other had expressed in a paraphrase, he had been guilty of vulgarity. I belong to the Church of England. But I love the gold and the silk which clothe the priest of Rome, and his fts 18 real madrid kits celibacy, and the confessional, and purgatory and in the darkness of an Italian cathedral, incense laden and mysterious, I believe with all my heart in the miracle of the Mass. In Venice I have seen a fisherwoman come in, barefoot, throw down her basket of fish by her side, fall on her knees, and pray to the Madonna and that inter milan clothing I felt was the real faith, and I prayed and believed with her. But I believe also in Aphrodite and Apollo and the Great God Pan. He had a charming voice, and he chose his words as he spoke he uttered them almost rhythmically. He would have gone on, but Weeks opened a second bottle of beer. Let me give you something to drink. Hayward turned to Philip with the slightly condescending gesture which so impressed the youth. Now are you satisfied he asked. Philip, somewhat bewildered, confessed that he was. I m disappointed that you didn t add a little Buddhism, said Weeks. And I confess I have a sort of sympathy for Mahomet I regret that you should have left him out in the cold. Hayward laughed, for he was in a good humour with himself that evening, and the ring of his sentences still sounded pleasant in his ears. He emptied his glass. I didn t expect you to understand me, he answered. With your fts 18 real madrid kits cold American intelligence you can only adopt the critical attitude. Emerson and all that sort of thing. But what is criticism Criticism is purely destructive anyone can destroy, but not everyone can build up. You are a pedant, my dear fellow. The important thing is to construct I am constructive I am a poet. Weeks looked at him with eyes which seemed at the same time to be quite grave and yet to be smiling brightly. I think, if you don t mind my saying so, you re a little drunk. Nothing to speak of, answered Hayward cheerfully. And not enough for me t.ed he would have asked Foinet to go away. He did not want to know the truth. They went in and the concierge handed him a letter as they passed. He glanced at the envelope and recognised his uncle s handwriting. Foinet followed him up the stairs. Philip could think of nothing to say Foinet was mute, and the silence got on his nerves. The professor sat down and Philip without a word placed before him the picture which the Salon had rejected Foinet nodded but did not speak then Philip showed him the two portraits he had made of Ruth Chalice, two or three landscapes which he had painted at Moret, and a number of sketches. That s all, he said presently, with a nervous laugh. Monsieur Foinet rolled himself a cigarette and lit it. You have very little private means he asked at last. Very little, answered Philip, with a sudden feeling of cold at his heart. Not enough to live on. There is nothing so degrading as the constant anxiety about one s me. ans of livelihood. I have nothing but contempt for the people who despise money. They are hypocrites or fools. Money is like a sixth sense without which you cannot make a complete use of the other five. Without an adequate income half the possibilities of life are shut off. The only thing to be careful about is that you do not pay more than a shilling for the shilling you earn. You will hear people say that poverty is the best spur to the artist. They have never felt the iron of it in their flesh. They do not know how mean it makes you. It exposes you to endless humiliation, it cuts your wings, it eats into your soul like a cancer. It is not wealth one asks for, but just enough to preserve one s dignity, to work unhampered, to be generous, frank, and independent. I pity with all my heart the artist, whether he writes or paints, who is entirely dependent for subsistence upon his art. fts 18 real madrid kits Philip quietly put fts 18 real madrid kits away the various things which he had shown. I m afraid that sounds as if you didn t think I had much chance. Monsieur Foinet slightly shrugged his shoulders. You have a certain manual dexterity. With hard work and perseverance there is no reason why you should not become a careful, not incompetent painter. You would find hundreds who painted worse than you, hundreds who painted as well. I see no talent in anything you have fts 18 real madrid kits shown me. I see industry and intelligence. You will never be anything but mediocre. Philip obliged himself to answer quite steadily. I m very grateful to you for having taken so much trouble