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He understood Griffiths love well enough, for he put himself in Griffiths place and saw with his eyes, touched with his hands he was able to think himself in Griffiths body, and he kissed her with his lips, smiled at her with his smiling blue eyes. It was her emotion that surprised him. He had never thought her capable of old manchester united shirts for sale passion, and this was passion there was no mistaking it. Something seemed to give way in his heart it really felt to him as though something were breaking, and he felt strangely weak. I don t want to make you unhappy. You needn t come away with me if you don t want to. I ll give you the money all the same. She shook her head. No, I said I d come, and I ll come. What s the good, if you re sick with love for him Yes, that s the word. I m sick with love. I know it won t last, just as well as he does, but just now She paused and shut her eyes as though she were going to faint. 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It seemed that some devil had seized him, forcing him to say bitter things against his will, even though at the time he wanted to shake hands with Rose and meet him more than halfway. The desire to wound had been too strong for him. He had wanted to revenge himself for the pain and the humiliation he had endured. It was pride it was folly too, for he knew that Rose would not care at all, while he would suffer bitterly. The thought c. ame to him that he would go to Rose, and say I say, I m sorry I was such a beast. I couldn t help it. Let s make it up. But he knew he would never be able to do it. He was afraid that Rose would sneer at him. He was angry with himself, and when Sharp came in a little while afterwards he seized upon the first opportunity to quarrel with him. Philip had a fiendish instinct for discovering other people s raw spots, and was able to say things that france euro 2019 home kit rankled because they were true. But Sharp had the last word. I heard Rose talking about you to Mellor just now, he said. Mellor said Why didn t you kick him It would teach him manners. And Rose said I didn t like to. Damned cripple. Philip suddenly became scarlet. He could not answer, for there was a lump in his throat that almost choked him. chapter 20 Philip was moved into the Sixth, but he hated school now with all his heart, and, having lost his ambition, cared nothing whether he did ill or well. He awoke in the morning with a sinking heart because he must go through another day of drudgery. He was tired of having to do things because he was told and the restrictions irked him, not because they were unreasonable, but because they were restrictions. He yearned for freedom. He was weary of repeating things that he knew already and of the hammering away, for the sake of a thick witted fellow, at something that he understood from the beginning. With Mr. Perkins you could work or not as you chose. He was at once eager and abstracted. The Sixth Form room was in a part of the old abbey which had been restored, and it had a gothic window Philip tried to cheat his boredom by drawing this over and over again and sometimes out of his head he drew the great tower of the Cathedral or the gateway that led into the precincts. He had a knack for drawing. Aunt Louisa during her youth had painted in water colours, and she had severa.n such good friends, and Griffiths knew how passionately devoted he was to Mildred he might have spared him. He did not see Mildred again till Friday he was sick for a sight of her by england football shirt 2019 long sleeve then but when she came and he realised that he had gone out of her thoughts entirely, for they were engrossed in Griffiths, he suddenly hated her. 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He was casual with her, trying to make her think he was suddenly grown indifferent and he exercised peculiar skill in saying little things which he knew would wound her but which were so indefinite, so delicately cruel, that she could not take exception to them. At last she got up. I think I must be going off now, she said. I daresay you ve got a lot to do, he answered. She held out her hand, he took it, said good bye, and opened the door for her. He knew what she wanted to speak about, and he knew also that his cold, ironical air intimidated her. Often his shyness made him seem so frigid that unintentionally he frightened people, and, having discovered this, he was able when occasion arose to assume the same manner. You haven t forgotten what you promised she said at last, as he held open the door. What is that About the money How much d you want He spoke with an icy deliberation which made his words peculiarly offensive. Mildred flushed. He knew she hated him at that moment, and he wondered at the self control by which she prevented herself from flying out at him. He wanted to make her suffer. There s the dress and the book tomorrow. That s all. Harry won t come, so we shan t want.
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