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All round were little groups of students, talking and laughing and here and there was a family, father and mother, a couple of sons and a girl and sometimes the girl fc barcelona old football shirts said a sharp thing, and the father leaned back in his chair and laughed, laughed heartily. It was very friendly and innocent. There was a pleasant homeliness in the scene, but for this Philip had no eyes. His thoughts ran on the play he had just come from. fc barcelona old football shirts You do feel it s life, don t you he said excitedly. You know, I don t think I can stay here much longer. I want to get to London so that I fc barcelona old football shirts can really begin. I want to have experiences. I m so tired of preparing for life I want to live it now. Sometimes Hayward left Philip to go home by himself. 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Philip in the daytime had been led by curiosity to pass through adidas germany 2019 the little street near the old bridge, with its neat white houses and green shutters, in which according to Hayward the Fraulein Trude lived but the women, with brutal faces and painted cheeks, who came out of their doors and cried out to him, filled him with fear and he fled in horror from the rough hands that sought to detain him. He yearned above all things for experience and felt himself ridiculous because at his age he had not enjoyed that which all fiction taught him was the most important t. hing in life but he had the unfortunate gift of seeing things as they were, and the reality which was offered him differed too terribly from the ideal of his dreams. He did not know how wide a country, arid and precipitous, must be crossed before the traveller through life comes to an acceptance of reality. It is an illusion that youth is happy, an illusion of those who have lost it but the young know they are wretched, for they are full of the truthless ideals which have been instilled into them, and each time they come in contact with the real they are bruised.
to dine by arrangement at the wretched eating house at which Cronshaw insisted on taking his meals, but Cronshaw did not appear. Philip learned that he had not been there for three days. He got himself something to eat and went round to the address from which Cronshaw had first written to him. He had some difficulty in finding Hyde Street. It was a street of dingy houses huddled together many of the windows had been broken and were clumsily repaired with strips of French newspaper the doors had not been painted for years there were shabby little shops on the ground floor, laundries, cobblers, stationers. Ragged children played in the road, and an old barrel organ was grinding out a vulgar tune. Philip knocked at the door of Cronshaw s house there was a shop of cheap sweetstuffs at the bottom , and it was opened by an elderly Frenchwoman in a dirty apron. Philip asked her if Cronshaw was in. Ah, yes, there is an Englishman who lives at the top, at the back. I don t know if he s in. If you want him you had better go up and see. The staircase was lit by one jet of gas. There was a revolting odour in the house. When Philip was passing up a woman came out of a room on the first floor, looked at him suspiciously, but made no remark. There were three doors on the top landing. Philip knocked at one, and knocked again there was no reply he fc barcelona old football shirts tried the handle, but the door was locked. He knocked at another door, got no answer, and tried the door again. It opened. The room was dark. Who s that He recognised Cronshaw s voice. Carey. Can I come in He received no answer. He walked in. The window was closed and the stink was overpowering. fc barcelona old football shirts There was a certain amount of fc barcelona old football shirts light from the arc lamp in the street, and he saw that it was a small room with two beds in it, end to end there was a washing stand fc barcelona old football shirts and one chair, but they left little space for anyone to move in. Cronshaw was in the bed nearest the window. He made no movement, but gave a low chuckle. Why don t you light the candle he man city away goalkeeper kit said then. Philip struck a match and discovered that there was a candlestick on the floor beside the bed. He lit it and put it on the washing stand. Cronshaw was lying on his back immobile he looked very odd in his nightshirt and his baldness was disconcerting. His face was earthy and death like. I say, old man, you look awfully ill. Is there anyone to look after you here George brings me in a bottle of milk in the morning before he goes to his work. W.nce to the subject had fc barcelona old football shirts prevented him from consulting any of the surgeons at the hospital. His reading told him that whatever might have been done when he was a small boy, and then treatment of talipes was not as skilful as in the present day, there was small chance now of any great benefit. Still it would be worth while retro italy football shirt if an operation made it possible for him to wear a more ordinary boot and to limp less. He remembered how passionately he had prayed for the miracle which his arsenal t-shirts for sale uncle had assured him was possible to omnipotence. He smiled ruefully. I was rather a simple soul in those days, he thought. Towards the end of February it was clear that Cronshaw was growing much worse. He was no longer able to get up. He lay in bed, insisting that the window should be closed always, fc barcelona old football shirts and refused to see a doctor he would take little nourishment, but demanded whiskey and cigarettes Philip knew that he should have neither, but Cronshaw s argument was unanswerable. I daresay they are killing me. I don t care. You ve warned me, you ve done all that was necessary I ignore your warning. Give me something to drink and be damned to you. Leonard Upjohn blew in two or three times a week, and there was something of the dead leaf in his appearance which made the word exactly descriptive of the manner of his appearance. He was a weedy looking fellow of five and thirty, with long pale hair and a white face he had the look of a man who lived too little in the open air. He wore a hat like a dissenting minister s. Philip disliked him for his patronising manner and was bored by his fluent conversation. Leonard Upjohn liked to hear himself talk. He was not sensitive to the interest of his listeners, which is the first requisite of the good talker and he never realised that he was telling people what they knew already. With measured words he told Philip what to think of Rodin, Albert Samain, and Caesar Franck. Philip s charwoman only came in for an hour in the morning, and since Philip was obliged to be at the hospital all day Cronshaw was left much alone. Upjohn told Philip that he thought someone should remain with him, but did not offer to make it possible. It s dreadful to think of that great poet alone. Why, he might die without a soul at hand. I think he very probably will, said Philip. How can you be so callous Why don t you come and do your work here every day, and then you d be near if he wanted anything asked Philip drily. I My dear fe.hought the other girls looked from him to the pair at the table and exchanged significant glances. He felt certain they were laughing at him, and his blood boiled. He detested Mildred now with all his heart. He knew that the best thing he could do was to cease coming to the tea shop, but he could not bear to think that he had been worsted in the affair, and he devised a plan to show her that he despised her. Next day he sat down at another table and ordered his tea from another waitress. Mildred s friend was there again and she was talking to him. She paid no attention to Philip, and so when he went out he chose a moment when she had juventus t-shirt #le6end to cross his path as he passed he looked at her as though he had never seen her before. He repeated this for three or four days. He expected that presently she would take the opportunity to say something to him he thought she would ask why he never came to one of her tables now, and he had prepared an answer charged with all the loathing he felt for her. He knew it was absurd to trouble, but he could not help himself. She had beaten him again. The German suddenly disappeared, but Philip still sat at other tables. She paid no attention to him. Suddenly he realised that what he did was a matter of complete indifference to her he could go on in that way till doomsday, and it would have no effect. I ve not finished yet, he said to himself. The day after he sat down in his old seat, and when she came up said good evening as though he had not ignored her for a week. His face was placid, but he could not prevent the mad beating of his heart. At that time the musical comedy had lately leaped into public favour, and he was sure that Mildred would be delighted to go to one. fc barcelona old football shirts I say, he said suddenly, I wonder if you d dine with me one night and come to The Belle of New York. I ll get a couple of stalls. He added the last sentence in order to tempt her. He knew that when the girls went to the play it was either in the pit, or, if some man took them, seldom to more expensive seats than the upper circle. Mildred s pale face showed no change of expression. I don t mind, she said. When fc barcelona old football shirts will you come I get off early on Thursdays. They made arrangements. Mildred lived with an aunt at Herne Hill. The play began at eight so they must dine at seven. She proposed that he should meet her in the second class waiting room at Victoria Station. She showed no pleasure, but accepted the invitation as though she co.
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She had scarlet lips, and it was plain that the vivid colour of her cheeks was not due to the vulgarity of nature she had blackened her eyelashes and eyebrows, and painted both eyelids a bold blue, which was continued to a triangle at the corner of the eyes. It was fantastic and amusing. Her dark hair was done over her ears in the fashion made popular by Mlle. Cleo de Merode. Philip s eyes wandered to her, and Cronshaw, having finished the recitation of his verses, smiled upon him indulgently. You were not listening, he said. Oh yes, I was. I do not blame you, for you have given an apt illustration of the statement I just made. What is art beside love I respect and applaud your indifference to fine poetry when you can contemplate the meretricious charms of this young person. She passed by the table at which they were sitting, and he took her arm. Come and sit by my side, dear child, and let us play the divine comedy of love. Fichez moi la paix, she said, and pushing him on one side continued her perambulation. Art, he continued, with a fc barcelona old football shirts wave of the hand, is merely the refuge which the ingenious have invented, when they were supplied with food and women, to escape the tediousness of life. Cronshaw filled his glass again, and began to talk at length. He spoke with rotund delivery. He chose his words carefully. He mingled wisdom and nonsense in the most astounding manner, gravely making fun of his hearers at one moment, and at the next playfully giving them sound advice. He talked of art, and literature, and life. He was by turns devout and obscene, merry and lachrymose. He grew remarkably drunk, and then he began to recite poetry, his own and Milton s, his own and Shelley s, his own and Kit Marlowe s. At last Lawson, exhausted, got up to go home. I shall go too, said Philip. Clutton, the most silent of them all, remained behind listening, with a sardonic smile on his lips, to Cronshaw s maunderings. Lawson accompanied Philip to his hotel and then bade him good night. But when Philip got to bed he could not sleep. All these new ideas that had been flung before him carelessly seethed in his brain. He was tremendously excited. He felt in himself great powers. He had never before been so self c.