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Alphonse Daudet had come also, and he had given her a copy of Sappho he had promised to write her name in it, but she had forgotten to remind him. She treasured the volume none the less and she would lend it to Philip. Then there was Maupassant. Miss Wilkinson with a rippling laugh looked at Philip knowingly. What a man, but what a writer Hayward had talked of Maupassant, and his reputation was not unknown to Philip. Did he make love to you he asked. The words seemed to stick funnily in his throat, but he asked them nevertheless. He liked Miss Wilkinson very much now, and was thrilled by her conversation, but he could not imagine anyone making love to her. What a question she cried. Poor Guy, he made love to every woman he met. classic bayern munich jersey It was a habit that he could not break himself of. She sighed a little, and seemed to look back tenderly on the past. He was a charming man, she murmured. 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They were sitting on a stile now by the high road, and Miss Wilkinson looked with disdain upon the stately elms in front of them. And the theatres the plays were brilliant, and the acting was incomparable. She often went with Madame Foyot, the mother of the girls she was educating, when she was trying on clothes. Oh, what a misery to be poor she cried. These beautiful things, it s only in Paris they know how to dress, and not to be able to afford them Poor Madame Foyot, she had no figure. Sometimes the dressmaker used to whisper to me Ah, Mademoiselle, if she only had your figure. Philip noticed then that Miss Wilkinson.
her bag and her gloves. She put on her coat. When are you seeing Griffiths again Tomorrow, she. answered indifferently. You d better talk it over with him. She opened her bag mechanically and saw a piece of paper in it. She took it out. Here s the bill for this dress, she said hesitatingly. What of it I promised I d give her the money tomorrow. Did you Does that mean you won t pay for it after having told me I could get it It does. I ll ask Harry, she said, flushing quickly. He ll be glad to help you. He owes me seven pounds at the moment, and he pawned his microscope last week, because he was so broke. You needn t think you can frighten me by that. I m quite capable of earning my own living. It s the best thing you can do. I don t propose to give you a farthing more. She thought of her rent due on Saturday and the baby s keep, but did not say anything. They left the restaurant, and in the street Philip asked her Shall I call a cab for you I m going to take a little stroll. 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It was an exquisite memorial to that than which the world offers but one thing more precious, to a friendship and as Philip looked at it, he felt the tears come to his eyes. He thought of Hayward and his eager admiration for him when first they met, and how disillusion had come and then indifference, till nothing held them together but habit and old memories. It was one of the queer things of life that you saw a person every day classic bayern munich jersey for months and were so intimate with him that you could not imagine existence without him then separation came, and everything went on in the same way, and the companion who had seemed essential proved unnecessary. Your life proceeded and you did not even miss him. Philip thought of those early days in Heidelberg when Hayward, capable of great things, had been full of enthusiasm for the future, and how, little by little, achieving nothing, he had resigned himself to failure. Now he was dead. His death had been as futile as his life. He died ingloriously, of a stupid disease, failing once more, even at the end, to accomplish anything. It was just the same now as if he had never lived. Philip asked himself desperately what was the use of living at all. It all seemed inane. It was the same with Cronshaw it was quite unimportant that he had lived he was dead and forgotten, his book of poems sold in remainder by second hand booksellers his life seemed to have served nothing except to give a pushing journalist occasion to write an article in a review. And Philip cried out in classic bayern munich jersey his soul What is the use of it The effort was so incommensurate with the result. The bright hopes of youth had to be paid for at such a bitter price of disillusionment. Pain and disease and unhappiness weighed down the scale so heavily. What did it all mean He thought of his own life, the high hopes with which he had entered upon it, the limitations which his body forced upon him, his friendlessness, and the lack of affection which had surrounded his.
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Miss Chalice, who had a clever dexterity which impressed Lawson notwithstanding his contempt for feminine art, started a picture in which she tried to circumvent the commonplace by leaving out the tops of the trees and Lawson had the brilliant idea of putting in his foreground a large blue advertisement of chocolat Menier in order to emphasise his abhorrence of the chocolate box. Philip began now to paint in oils. He experienced a thrill of delight when first he used that grateful medium. He went out with Lawson in the morning with his little box and sat by him painting a panel it gave him so much satisfaction that he did not realise he was doing no more than copy he was so much under his friend s influence that he saw only with his eyes. Lawson painted very low in tone, and they both saw the emerald of the grass like dark velvet, while the brilliance of the sky turned in their hands to a brooding ultramarine. Through July they had one fine day after another it was very hot and the heat, searing Philip s heart, filled him with languor he could not work his mind was eager with a thousand thoughts. Often he spent the mornings by the side of the canal in the shade of the poplars, reading a few lines and then dreaming for half an hour. Sometimes he hired a rickety bicycle and rode along the dusty road that led to the forest, and then lay down in a clearing. His head was full of romantic fancies. The ladies of Watteau, gay and insouciant, seemed to wander with their cavaliers among the great trees, whispering to one another careless, charming things, and yet somehow oppressed by a nameless fear. They were alone in the hotel but.of pride filled his intelligent eyes. He took off his hat and changed his coat glanced at the letters and then at the men who were waiting to see him. He made a slight sign with one finger and the first in the queue stepped into the office. They filed past him one by one and answered his questions. He put them very briefly keeping his eyes fixed on the applicant s face. Age Experience Why did you leave your job He listened to the replies without expression. When it came to Philip s turn he fancied that Mr. football jersey shirts for sale real madrid football Gibbons stared at him curiously. Philip s clothes were neat and tolerably cut. He looked a little different from the others. Experience I m afraid I haven t any said Philip. borussia dortmund long sleeve jersey No good. Philip walked out of the office. The ordeal had been so much less painful than he expected that he felt no particular classic bayern munich jersey disappointment. He could hardly hope to succeed in getting a place the first time he tried. He had kept the newspaper and now looked at the advertisements again a shop in Holborn needed a salesman too and he went there but when he arrived he found that someone had already been engaged. If he wanted to get anything to eat that day he must go to Lawson s studio before he went out to luncheon so he made his way along the Brompton Road to Yeoman s Row. I say I m rather broke till the end of the month he said as soon as he found an opportunity. I wish you d lend me half a sovereign will you It was incredible the difficulty he found in asking for money and he remembered the casual way as though a. lmost they were conferring a favour men at the hospital had extracted small classic bayern munich jersey sums out of him which they had no intention of repaying. Like a shot said Lawson. But when he put his hand in his pocket he found that he had only eight shillings. Philip s heart sank. Oh well lend me five bob will you he said lightly. Here you are. Philip went to the public baths in Westminster and spent sixpence on a bath. Then he got himself something to eat. He did not know what to do with himself in the afternoon. He would not go back to the hospital in case anyone should ask him questions and besides he had nothing to classic bayern munich jersey do there classic bayern munich jersey now they would wonder in the two or classic bayern munich jersey three departments he had worked in why he did not come but they must think what they chose it did not matter he would not be the first student who had dropped out without warning. He went to the free library and looked at the papers till they wearied him then he took out Stevenson s New Arabian Nights but he found he cou.