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He held out his hand seriously, and she took it in silence. He thought she stifled a sob. Oh, it was magnificent When, after a decent interval during which he had been rather bored in the dark garden by himself, he went in he found that Miss Wilkinson had already gone to bed. After that things were different between them. The next day and the day after Philip showed himself.
Chelsea Merchandise Store m made it seem necessary to go and fight for his country. It was strange, since he considered patriotism no more than a prejudice, and, flattering himself on his cosmopolitanism, he had looked upon England as a place of exile. His countrymen in the mass wounded his susceptibilities. Philip wondered what it was that made people do things which were so contrary to all their theories of life. It would have been reasonable for Hayward to stand aside and watch with a smile while the barbarians slaughtered one another. It looked as though men were puppets in the hands of an unknown force, which drove them to do this and that and sometimes they used their reason to justify their actions and when this was impossible they did the actions in despite of reason. People are very extraordinary, said Philip. I should never have expected you to go out as a trooper. Hayward smiled, slightly embarrassed, and said nothing. I was examined yesterday, he remarked at last. It was worth chelsea merchandise store while undergoing the gene of it to know that one was perfectly fit. Philip noticed that he still used a French word in an affected way when an English one would have served. But just then Macalister came in. I wanted to see you, Carey, he said. My people don t feel inclined to hold those shares any more, the market s in such an awful state, and they want you to take them up. Philip s heart sank. He knew that was impossible. It meant that he must accept the loss. His pride made him answer calmly. I don t know that I think that s worth while. You d better sell them. It s all very fine to say that, I m not sure if I can. The market s stagnant, there are no buyers. But they re marked down at one and an eighth. Oh yes, but that doesn t mean anything. You can chelsea merchandise store t get that for them. Philip did not say anything for a moment. He was trying to c. ollect himself. D you mean to say they re worth nothing at all Oh, I don t say that. Of course they re worth something, but you see, nobody s buying them now. Then you must just sell them for what you can get. Macalister looked at Philip narrowly. He wondered whether he was very hard hit. The only thing I can do is to hang on somehow till he dies. Philip reckoned his age. The Vicar of Blackstable was well over seventy. He spain fc shop had chronic bronchitis, but many old men had that and lived on indefinitely. Meanwhile something must turn chelsea merchandise store up Philip could not get away from the feeling that his position was altogether abnormal people in his particular station did not.f painting was full of artists who had earned nothing at all. He must resign himself to penury and it was worth while if he produced work which was immortal but he had a terrible fear that he would never be more than second rate. Was it worth while for that to give up one s youth, and the gaiety of life, and the manifold chances of being He knew the existence of foreign painters in Paris enough to see that the lives they led were narrowly provincial. He knew some who had dragged along for twenty years in the pursuit of a fame which always escaped them till they sunk into sordidness and alcoholism. Fanny s suicide had aroused memories, and Philip heard ghastly stories of the way in which one person or another had escaped from despair. He remembered the scornful advice which the master had given poor Fanny it would have been well for her if she had taken it and given up an attempt which was hopeless. Philip finished his portrait of Miguel Ajuria and made up his mind to send it to the Salon. Flanagan was sending two pictures, and he thought chelsea merchandise store he could paint as well as Flanagan. He had worked so hard on the portrait that he could not help. feeling it must have merit. It was true that when he looked at it he felt that there was something wrong, though he could not tell what but when he was away from it his spirits went up and he was not dissatisfied. He sent it to the Salon and it was refused. He did not mind much, since he had done all he could to persuade himself that there was little chance that it would be taken, till Flanagan a few days later rushed in to tell Lawson and Philip that one of his pictures was accepted. With a blank face Philip offered his congratulations, and Flanagan was so busy congratulating himself that he did not catch the note of irony which Philip could not prevent from coming into his voice. Lawson, quicker witted, observed it and chelsea merchandise store looked at Philip curiously. His own picture was all right, he knew that a day or two before, and he was vaguely resentful of Philip s attitude. But he was surprised at the sudden question which Philip put him as soon as the American was gone. If you were in my school football team kits place would you chuck the whole thing What do you mean I wonder if it s worth while being a second rate painter. You see, in other things, if you re a doctor or if you re in business, it doesn t matter so much if you re mediocre. You make a living and you get along. But what is the good of turning out second rate pictures Lawson was fond of.