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He looked at her and gave a little gasp of relief. She was sitting with her back to the window. She was really quite nice. He wondered why he had thought such things about her. chelsea fc superstore His self satisfaction returned to him. He was taken aback by the change in her. She told him in a voice thrilling with emotion immediately after breakfast that she loved him and when a little later they went into the drawing room for his singing lesson and she sat down on the music stool she put up her face in the middle of a scale and said Embrasse moi. When he bent down she flung her arms round his neck. It was slightly uncomfortable, for she held him in such a position that he felt rather choked. Ah, je t aime. Je t aime. Je t aime, she cried, with her extravagantly French accent. Philip wished she would speak English. I say, I don t know if it s struck you that the gardener s quite likely to pass the window any minute. Ah, je m en fiche du jardinier. Je m en refiche, et je m en contrefiche. Philip thought it was very like a French novel, and he did not know chelsea fc superstore why it slightly irritated him. At last he said Well, I think I ll tootle along to the beach and have a dip. Oh, you re not going to leave me this morning of all mornings Philip did not quite know why he should not, but it did not matter. Would you like me to stay he smiled. Oh, you darling But no, go. Go. I want to think of you mastering the salt sea waves, bathing your limbs in the broad ocean. He got his hat and sauntered off. What rot women talk he thought to.d thought of it often but Cronshaw with his faun like humour had refused to make his meaning clear he repeated that it had none unless one discovered it for oneself. It was this desire to make a success of life which was at the bottom of Philip s uncertainty about continuing his artistic career. But Clutton began to talk again. D chelsea fc superstore you remember my telling you about that chap I met in Brittany I saw him the other day here. He s just off to Tahiti. He was broke to the world. He was a brasseur d affaires, a stockbroker I suppose you call it in English and he had a wife and family, and he was earning a large income. He chucked it all to become a painter. He just went off and settled down in Brittany and began to paint. He hadn t got any money and did the next best thing to starving. And what about his wife and family asked Philip. Oh, he dropped them. He left them to starve on their own account. It sounds a pretty low down thing to do. Oh, my dear fellow, if you want to be a gentleman you must give up being an artist. They ve got chelsea fc superstore nothing to do with one another. You hear of men painting pot boilers to keep an aged mother well, it shows they re excellent sons, but it s no excuse for bad work. They re only tradesmen. An artist would let his mother go to the workhouse. There s a writer I know over here who told me that his wife died in childbirth. He was in love with her and he was mad with grief, but as he sat at the bedside watching her die he found himself making mental notes of how she looked and what she said and the things he was feeling. Gentlemanly, wasn t it But is your friend a good painter asked Philip. No, not yet, he paints just like Pissarro. He hasn t found himself, but he s got a sense of colour and a sense of decoration. But that isn t the question. it chelsea fc superstore s the feeling, and that he s got. He s behaved like a perfect cad to his wife and children, he s always behaving like a perfect cad the way he treats the people who ve helped him and sometimes manchester city retro he s been saved from starvation merely by the kindness of his friends is simply beastly. He just happens to be a great artist. Philip pondered over the man who chelsea fc superstore was willing to sacrifice everything, comfort, home, money, love, honour, duty, for the sake of getting on to canvas with paint the emotion which the world gave him. it was magnificent, and yet his courage failed him. Thinking of Cronshaw recalled to him the fact that he had not seen him for a week, and so, when C.
her to make some reference to the fact that he had not been there for a week, but when she came up for his order she said nothing. He had heard her say to other customers I d sooner starve, Philip muttered to himself. You re quite a stranger. Once or twice the po. ssibility of suicide presented itself to him it would be easy to get something from the hospital dispensary, and it was a comfort to think that if the worst came to the worst he had at hand means of making a painless end of himself but it was not a course that he considered seriously. When Mildred had left him to go with Griffiths his anguish had been so great that he wanted to die in order to get rid of the pain. He did not feel like that now. He remembered that chelsea fc superstore the Casualty Sister had told him how people oftener did away with themselves for want of money than for want of love and he chuckled when he thought that he was an exception. 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