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That was his means of self expression, and what he must do with it was not clear. But he had no time to continue with this train of thought, for Lawson poured out a frank recital of his affair with Ruth Chalice. She had left him for a young student who had just come from England, and was behaving in a scandalous fashion. Lawson really thought someone ought to step in and save the young man. She would ruin him. Philip gathered that Lawson s chief grievance was that the rupture had come in the middle of a portrait he was painting. Women have no real feeling for chelsea fc shirts 2019/20 art, he said. They only pretend they have. But he finished philosophically enough However, I got four portraits out of her, and I m not sure if the last I was working on would ever have been a success. Philip envied the easy way in which the painter managed chelsea fc shirts 2019/20 his love affairs. He had passed eighteen months pleasantly enough, had got an excellent model for nothing, and had parted from her at the end with no great pang. And what chelsea fc shirts 2019/20 about Cronshaw asked Philip. Oh, he s done for, answered Lawson, with the cheerful callousness of his youth. He ll be dead in six months. He got pneumonia last winter. He was in the English hospital for seven weeks, and when he came out they told him his only chance was to give up liquor. Poor devil, smiled the abstemious Philip. He kept off for a bit. He used to go to the Lilas all the same, he couldn t keep away from that, but he used to drink hot milk, avec de la fleur d oranger, and he was damned dull. I take it you did not conceal the fact from him. Oh, he knew it himself. A little while ago he started on whiskey chelsea fc shirts 2019/20 again. He said he was too old to turn over any new leaves. He would rather be happy for six months and die at the end of it than linger on for five years. And then I think he s been awfully hard up lately. You see, he didn t earn anything while he was ill, and the slut he lives with has been giving him a rotten time. I remember, the first time I saw him I admired him awfully, said Philip. I thought he was wonderful. It is sickening that vulgar, middle class virtue should pay. Of course he was a rotter. He was bound to end in the gutter sooner or later, said Lawson. Philip was hurt because Lawson would not see the pity of it. Of course it was cause and effect, but in the necessity with which one f.fashionable portrait painter, earn ten thousand a year and be an A. R. A. before he s forty. Portraits done by hand for the nobility and gentry Philip, too, looked into the future, and he saw Clutton in twenty years, bitter, lonely, savage, and unknown still in Paris, for the life there had got into his bones, ruling a small cenacle with a savage tongue, at war with himself and the world, producing little in his increasing passion for a perfection he could not reach and perhaps sinking at last into drunkenness. Of late Philip had been captivated by an idea that since one had only one life it was important to make a success of it, but he did not count success by the acquiring of money or the achieving of fame he did not quite know yet what he meant by it, perhaps variety of experience and the making the most of his abilities. It was plain anyway that ajax football shirt the life which Clutton seemed destined to was failure. Its only justification would be the painting of imperishable masterpieces. He recollected Cronshaw s whimsical metaphor of the Persian carpet he ha. d thought of it often but Cronshaw with chelsea fc shirts 2019/20 his faun like humour had refused to make his meaning clear he repeated that it had none unless one discovered it for oneself. It was this desire to make a success of life which was at the bottom of Philip s uncertainty about continuing his artistic career. But Clutton began to talk again. D you remember my telling you about that chap I chelsea fc shirts 2019/20 met in Brittany I saw him the other day here. He s just off to Tahiti. He was broke to the world. He was a brasseur d affaires, barcelona jacket black a stockbroker I suppose you call it in English and he had a wife and family, and he was earning a large income. He chucked it all to become a painter. He just went off and settled down in Brittany and began to paint. He hadn t got any money and did the next best thing to starving. And what about his wife and family asked Philip. Oh, he dropped them. He left them to starve on their own account. It sounds a pretty low down thing to do. Oh, my dear fellow, if you want to be a gentleman you must give up being an artist. They ve got nothing to do with one another. You hear of men painting pot boilers to keep an aged mother well, it shows they re excellent sons, but it s no excuse for bad work. They re only tradesmen. An artist would let his mother go to chelsea fc shirts 2019/20 the workhouse. There s a writer I know over here who told me that his wife died in childbirth. He was in love with her and he was mad with grief, but as he.
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Philip could think of nothing to say Foinet was mute, and the silence got on his nerves. The professor sat down and Philip without a word placed before him the picture which the Salon had rejected Foinet nodded but did not speak then Philip showed him the two portraits he had made of Ruth Chalice, two or three landscapes which he had painted at Moret, and a number of sketches. That s all, he said presently, with a nervous laugh. Monsieur Foinet rolled himself a cigarette and lit it. You have very little private means he asked at last. Very little, answered Philip, with chelsea fc shirts 2019/20 a sudden feeling of cold at his heart. Not enough to live on. There is nothing so degrading as the constant anxiety about one s me. ans of livelihood. I have nothing but contempt for the people who despise money. They are hypocrites or fools. Money is like a sixth sense without which you cannot make a complete use of the other five. Without an adequate income half the possibilities of life are shut off. The only thing to be careful about is that you do not pay more than a shilling for the shilling you earn. You will hear people say that poverty is the best spur to the artist. They have never felt the iron of it in their flesh. They do not know how mean it makes you. It exposes childrens brazil kit you to endless humiliation, it cuts your wings, it eats into your soul like a cancer. It is not wealth one asks for, but just enough to preserve one s dignity, to work unhampered, to be generous, frank, and independent. I pity with all my heart the artist, whether he writes or paints, who is entirely dependent for subsistence upon his art. Philip quietly put away the various things which he had shown. I m afraid that sounds as if you didn t think I had much chance. Monsieur Foinet slightly shrugged his shoulders. You have a certain manual dexterity. 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