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She hated asking Philip for money, but would he send some by return, as she had had to buy herself a new hat, she couldn t go about with her lady friend always in the same hat, and her lady friend was so dressy. Philip had a moment of bitter disappointment. It took away all his pleasure at getting through his examination. If she loved me one quarter as much as I love her she couldn t bear to stay away a day longer than necessary. He put the thought away from him quickly it was pure selfishness of course her health was more important than anything else. But he had nothing to do now he might spend the week with her in Brighton, and they could be together all day. His heart leaped at the thought. It would be amusing to appear before Mildred suddenly with the information that he had taken a room in the boarding house. He looked out trains. But he paused. He was not certain that she would be pleased to see him she had made friends in Brighton he was quiet, and she liked boisterous joviality he realised that she amused herself more with other people than with him. It would torture him if he felt for an instant that he was in the way. He was afraid to risk it. He dared not even write and suggest that, with nothing to keep him in town, he would like to spend the week where he could see her every day. She knew he had nothing to do if she wanted him to come she would have asked him to. He dared not risk the anguish he would suffer if he proposed to come and she made excuses to prevent him. He wrote to her next day, sent her a five pound note, and at the end of his letter said that if she were very nice and cared to see him for the week end he would be glad to run down but she was by no means to alter any plans she had made. He awaited her answer with impatience. In it she said that if she had only known before she could have arranged it, but she had promised to go to a music hall on the Saturday night besides, it would make the people at the boarding house talk if he stayed there. Why did he not come on Sunday barcelona fc away socks junior morning and spend the day They could lunch at the Metropole, and she would take him afterwards to see the very superior lady like person who was going to take the baby. Sunday. He blessed the day because it was fine. As the train approached Brighton the sun poured through the carriage window. Mildred was waiting for him on the platform. How jolly of you to come and meet me he cried, as he seized her hand.
is bill and left him. Philip knew very little about women, or he would have been aware that one should accept their most transparent lies. He made up his mind that he would watch the shop and see for certain whether Mildred went out with the German. He had an buffon kit unhappy passion for certainty. At seven he stationed himself on the opposite pavement. He looked about for Miller, but did not see him. In ten minutes she came out, she had on the cloak and shawl which she had worn when he took her to the Shaftesbury Theatre. It was obvious that she was not going home. She saw him before he had time to move away, started a little, and then came straight up to him. What are you doing here she said. Taking the air, he answered. You re spying on me, you dirty little cad. I thought you was a gentleman. Did you think a gentleman would be likely to take any interest in you he murmured. There was a devil within him which forced him to make matters worse. He wanted to hurt her as much as she was hurting him. I suppose I can change my mind if I like. I m not obliged to come out with you. I tell you I m going home, and I won t be followed or spied upon. Have you seen Miller today That s no business of yours. In point of fact I haven t, so you re wrong again. I saw him this afternoon. He d just come out of the shop when I went in. Well, what if he did I can go out with him if I want to, can t I I don t know what you ve got to say to it. He s keeping you waiting, isn t he Well, I d rather wait for him than have you wait for me. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. And now p raps you ll go off home and mind your chelsea clothing company own business in future. His mood changed suddenly from anger to despair, and his voice trembled when he spoke. I say, don t be beastly with me, Mildred. You chelsea clothing company know I m awfully fond of you. I think I love you with all my heart. 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He was taken into a long, bare room with two tables that ran along its whole length on each side of them were wooden forms. Nobody much here yet, said Mr. Watson. I ll just show you the playground, and then I ll leave you to shift for yourself. Mr. Watson led the way. Philip found himself in a large play ground with high brick walls on three sides of it. On the fourth side was an iron railing through which you saw a vast lawn and beyond this some of the buildings of King s School. One small boy was wandering disconsolately, kicking up the gravel as he walked. Hulloa, Venning, shouted Mr. Watson. When did you turn up The small chelsea clothing company boy boys portugal shirt came forward and shook hands. Here s a new boy. He s older and bigger than you, so don t you bully him. The headmaster glared amicably at the two children, filling them with fear by the roar of his voice, and then with a guffaw left them. What s your name Carey. juventus soccer What s your father He s dead. Oh Does your mother chelsea clothing company wash My mother s dead, too. Philip thought this answer would cause the boy a certain awkwardness, but V. enning was not to be turned from his facetiousness for so little. Well, did she wash he went on. Yes, said Philip indignantly. She was a washerwoman then No, she wasn t. Then she didn t wash. The little boy crowed with delight at the success of his dialectic. Then he caught sight of Philip s feet. What s the matter with your foot Philip instinctively tried to withdraw it from sight. He hid it behind chelsea clothing company the one which was whole. I ve got a club foot, he answered. How did you get it I ve always had it. Let s have a look. No. Don t then. The little boy accompanied the words with a sharp kick on Philip s shin, which Philip did not expect and thus could not guard against. The pain was so great that it made him gasp, but greater than the pain was the surprise. He did not know why Venning kicked him. He had not the presence of mind to give him a black eye. Besid.
Chelsea Clothing Company er passed. Now and then Philip went to the hospital, slinking in when it was late and there was little chance of meeting anyone he knew, to see whether there were letters for him. At Easter he received one from his uncle. He was surprised to hear from him, for the Vicar of Blackstable had never written him more than half a dozen letters in his whole life, and they were on business matters. Dear Philip, If you are thinking of taking a holiday soon and care to come down here I shall be pleased to see you. I was very ill with my bronchitis in the winter and Doctor Wigram. never expected me to pull through. I have a wonderful constitution and I made, thank God, a marvellous recovery. Yours affectionately, William Carey. The letter made Philip angry. How did his uncle think he was living He did not even trouble to inquire. He might have starved for all the old man cared. But as he walked home something struck him he stopped under a lamp post and read the letter again the handwriting had no longer the business like firmness which had characterised it it was larger and wavering perhaps the illness had shaken him more than he was willing to confess, and he sought in that formal note to express a yearning to see the only relation he had in the world. Philip wrote back that he could come down to Blackstable for a fortnight in July. The invitation was convenient, for he had not known what to do, with his brief holiday. The Athelnys went hopping in September, but he could not then be spared, since during that month the autumn models were prepared. The rule of Lynn s was that everyone must take a fortnight whether he wanted it or not and during that time, if he had nowhere to go, the assistant might sleep in his room, but he was not allowed food. A number had no friends within reasonable distance of London, and to these the holiday was an awkward interval when they had to provide food out of their small wages and, with the whole day on their hands, had nothing to spend. Philip had not been out of London since his visit to Brighton with Mildred, now two years before, and he longed for fresh air and the silence of the sea. He thought of it with such a passionate desire, all through May and June, that, when at length the chelsea clothing company time came for him to go, he was listless. On his last evening, when he talked with the buyer of one or two jobs he had to leave over, Mr. Sampson suddenly said to him What wages have you been getting Six mcfc merchandise shillings. I don t think it s enoughich and drink a glass of beer. All round were little groups of students, talking and laughing and here and there was a family, father and mother, a couple of sons and a girl and sometimes the girl said a sharp thing, and the father leaned back in his chair and laughed, laughed heartily. It was very friendly and innocent. There was a pleasant homeliness in the scene, but for this Philip had no eyes. His thoughts ran on the play he had just come from. You do feel it s life, don t you he said excitedly. You know, I don t think I can stay here much longer. I want to get to London so that I can really begin. I want to have experiences. I m so tired of preparing for life I want to live it now. Sometimes Hayward left Philip to go home by himself. He would never chelsea clothing company exactly reply to Philip s celtic shirts near me eager questioning, but with a merry, rather stupid laugh, hinted at a romantic amour he quoted a few lines of Rossetti, and once showed Philip a sonnet in which passion and purple, pessimism and pathos, were packed together on the subject of a young lady called Trude. Hayward surrounded his sordid and vulgar little adventures with a glow of poetry, and thought he touched hands with Pericles and Pheidias because to describe the object of his attentions he used the word hetaira instead of one of those, more blunt and apt, provided by the English language. Philip in the daytime had been led by curiosity to pass through the little street near the old bridge, with its neat white houses and green shutters, in which according to Hayward the Fraulein Trude lived but the women, with brutal faces and painted cheeks, who came out of their doors and cried out to him, filled him with fear and he fled in horror from the rough hands that sought to detain him. He yearned above all things for experience and felt himself ridiculous because at his age he had not enjoyed that which all fiction taught him was the most important t. hing in life but he had the unfortunate gift of seeing things as they were, and the reality which was offered him differed too terribly from the ideal of his dreams. He did not know how wide a country, arid and precipitous, must be crossed before the traveller through life comes to an acceptance of reality. It is an illusion that youth is happy, an illusion of those who have lost it but the young know they are wretched, for they are full of the truthless ideals which have been instilled into them, and each time they come in contact with the real they are bruised.