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You can t imagine what a pleasure it is to me just to sit opposite and look at you. I ve yearned for you. I was sick for a sight of you. Mildred smiled a little and faintly flushed. She was not then suffering from the dyspepsia which generally attacked her immediately after a meal. She felt more kindly disposed to Philip than ever before, and the unaccustomed tenderness in her eyes filled him with joy. He knew instinctively that it was madness to give himself into her hands his only chance was to treat her casually and never allow her to see the untamed passions that seethed in his breast she would only take advantage of his weakness but he could not be prudent now he told her all the agony he had endured during the cheap replica football shirts 2019/20 separation from her he told her of his struggles with himself, how he had tried to get over his passion, thought he had succeeded, and how he found out that it was as strong as ever. 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oy slipped out of the room. Mr. Carey was unused to work, and he turned to his correspondence with resentment. On one side of the desk was a bundle of bills, and these filled him with irritation. One especially seemed preposterous. Immediately after Mrs. Carey s death Emma had ordered from the florist masses of white flowers for the room in which the dead woman lay. It was sheer waste of money. Emma took far too much upon herself. Even if there had been no financial necessity, he would have dismissed cheap replica football shirts 2019/20 her. But Philip went to her, and hid his face in her bosom, and wept as though his heart would break. And she, feeling that he was almost her own son she had taken him when he was a month old consoled him with soft words. 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All he said seemed to excite thought, and often on the way home Lawson and Philip would walk to and from one another s hotels, discussing some point which a chance word of Cronshaw had suggested. It was disconcerting to Philip, who had a youthful eagerness for results, that Cronshaw s poetry hardly came up to expectation. It had never been published in a volume, but most of it had appeared in periodicals and after a good deal of persuasion Cronshaw brought down a bundle of pages torn out of The Yellow Book, The Saturday Review, and other journals, on each of which was a poem. Philip was taken aback to find that most of them reminded him either of Henley or of Swinburne. It needed the splendour of Cronshaw s delivery to make them personal. He expressed his disappointment to Lawson, who carelessly repeated his words and next time Philip went to the Closerie des Lilas the poet turned to him with his sleek smile I hear you don t think much of my verses. Philip was embarrassed. I don t know about that, he answered. I enjoyed reading them very much. Do not attempt to spare my feelings, returned Cronshaw, with a wave of his fat hand. I do not attach any exaggerated importance to my poetical works. Life is there to be lived rather than to be written about. My aim is to search out the manifold experience that it offers, wringing from each moment what of emotion it presents. I look upon my writing as a graceful accomplishment which does not absorb but rather adds pleasure to existence. And as for posterity damn posterity. Philip smiled, for it leaped to one s eyes that the artist in life had produced no more than a wretched daub. Cronshaw looked at him meditatively and filled his glass. He sent the waiter for a packet of cigarettes. You are amused because I talk in this fashion and you know that I am poor and live in an attic with a vulgar trollop who deceives me with hair dressers and garcons de cafe I translate wretched books for the British public, and write articles upon contemptible pictures which deserve not even to be abused. But pray tell me what is the meaning of life I say, that s rather a difficult question. Won t you give the answer yourself No, because it s worthless unless you yourself discover it. But what do you suppose you are in the world for Philip had never asked himself, and he thought for cheap replica football shirts 2019/20 a moment before replying. Oh, I don t know I suppose to do one s duty, and make the best possible use of one s f.oman to a man, and made one of them a slave it was convenient to cheap replica football shirts 2019/20 call it the sexual instinct but if it was no more than that, he did not understand why it should occasion so vehement an attraction to one person rather than another. It was irresistible the mind could not battle with it friendship, gratitude, interest, had no power beside it. Because he had not attracted Mildred sexually, lfc third kit socks nothing that he did had any effect upon her. The idea revolted him it made human nature beastly and he felt suddenly that the hearts of men were full of dark places. Because Mildred was indifferent to him he had thought her sexless her anaemic appearance and thin lips, the body with its narrow hips and flat chest, the languor of her manner, carried out his supposition and yet she was capable of sudden passions which made her willing to risk everything to gratify them. He had never understood her adventure with Emil Miller it had seemed so unlike her, and she had never been able to explain it but now that he had seen her with Griffiths he knew that just the same thing had happened then she had been carried off her cheap replica football shirts 2019/20 feet by an ungovernable desire. He tried to think out cheap football training t shirts what those two men had which so strangely attracted her. They both had a vulgar facetiousness which tickled her simple sense of humour, and a certain coarseness of nature but what took her perhaps was the blatant sexuality which was their most marked characteristic. She had a genteel refinement which shuddered at the facts of life, she looked upon the bodily functions as indecent, she had all sorts of euphemisms for common objects, she always chose an elaborate word as more becoming than a simple one the brutality of these men was like a whip on her thin white shoulders, and she shuddered with voluptuous pain. One thing Philip had made up his mind about. He would not go back to the lodgings in which he had suffered. He wrote to his landlady and gave her notice. He wanted to have his own things about him. He cheap replica football shirts 2019/20 determined to take unfurnished rooms it would be pleasant and cheaper and this was an urgent consideration, for during the last year and a half he had spent nearly seven hundred pounds. He must make up for it now by cheap replica football shirts 2019/20 the most rigid economy. Now and then he thought of the future with panic real madrid kit soccer he had been a fool to spend so much money on Mildred but he knew that if it were to come again he would act in the same way. It amused him sometimes to consider that puma italia womens jacket his friends, bec.
Cheap Replica Football Shirts 2019/20 It is so good to think that your first love should have been pure poetry. Treasure the moments, for the immortal gods have given you the Greatest Gift of All, and it will be a sweet, sad memory till your dying day. You will never again enjoy that careless rapture. First love is best love and she is beautiful and you are young, and all the world is yours. I felt my pulse go faster when with your adorable simplicity you told me that you buried your face in her long hair. I am sure that it is that exquisite chestnut which seems just touched with gold. I would have you cheap replica football shirts 2019/20 sit under a leafy tree side by side, and read together Romeo and Juliet and then I would have you fall on your knees and on my behalf kiss the leicester city kit 16/17 ground on which her foot has left its imprint then tell her it is the homage of a poet to her radiant youth and to your love for her. Yours always, G. Etheridge Hayward. What damned rot said Philip, when he finished the letter. Miss Wilkinson oddly enough had suggested that they should read Romeo and Juliet together but Philip had firmly declined. Then, as he put the letter in his pocket, he felt a queer little pang of bitterness because reality seemed so different from the ideal. Embrasse moi. Ah Je t aime Je t aime Je t aime Ah ie m en nche dujardlnler Je m en retlche et je m enCofltrehche G chapter 36 A few days later Philip went to London. The curate had recommended rooms in Barnes, and these Philip engaged by letter at fourteen shillings a week. He reached them in the evening and the landlady, a funny little old woman with a shrivelled body and a deeply wrinkled face, had prepared high tea for him. 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