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e. But Paris is the only place worth writing about. Paris is life. One day he brought part of the manuscript, and in his bad French, translating excitedly as he went along so that Philip could scarcely understand, he read passages. It was lamentable. Philip, puzzled, looked at the picture he was painting the mind behind that broad brow was trivial and the flashing, passionate eyes saw nothing in life but the obvious. Philip was not satisfied with his portrait, and at the end of a sitting he nearly always scraped out what he had done. It was all very well to aim at the intention of the soul who could tell what that was when people seemed a mass of contradictions He liked Miguel, and it distressed him to realise that his magnificent struggle was futile he had everything to make a good writer but talent. Philip looked at his own work. How could you tell whether there was anything in it or whether you were wasting your time It was clear that the will to achieve could not help you and confidence in yourself meant nothing. Philip thought of Fanny Price she had a vehement belief in her talent her strength of will was extraordinary. If I thought I wasn t going to be really good, I d rather give up painting, said Philip. I don t see any use in being a second rate painter. Then one morning when he was going out, the concierge called out to him that there was a let. ter. Nobody wrote to him but his Aunt Louisa and sometimes Hayward, and inter milan fifa 19 kits this was a handwriting he did not know. The letter was as follows Please come at once when cheap boys football tops you get this. I couldn t put up with it any more. Please come yourself. I can t bear the thought that anyone else should touch me. I want you to have everything. F. Price I have not had anything to eat for three days. Philip felt on a sudden sick with fear. He hurried to the house in which she lived. He was astonished that she was in Paris at all. He had not seen her for months and imagined she had long since returned to England. When he arrived he asked the concierge whether she was in. Yes, I ve not seen her go out for two days. Philip ran upstairs and knocked at the door. There was no reply. He called her name. The door was locked, and on bending down he found the key was in the lock. Oh, my God, I hope she bayern munich shorts junior hasn t done something awful, he cried aloud. He ran down and told the porter that she was certainly in the room. He had had a letter from her and feared a terrible accident. He suggested breaking open the door. The porter, who.like it, do you Oh, my dear, he cried. I m so sorry, I m so awfully sorry. That ll do me a fat lot of good. Again Philip found nothing to say. He was desperately afraid of saying anything which she might take for a reproach or a sneer. Where s the baby he asked at last. I ve got her with me in London. I hadn t got the money to cheap boys football tops keep her on at Brighton, so I had to take her. I ve got a room up Highbury way. I told them I was on the stage. It s a long way to have to come down to the West End every day, but it s a rare job to find anyon. e who ll let to ladies at all. Wouldn t they take you back at the shop I couldn t get any work to do anywhere. I walked my legs off looking for work. I did get a job once, but I was off for a arsenal football socks kids week because I was queer, and when I went back they said they didn t want me any more. You can t blame them either, can you Them places, they can t afford to have girls that aren t strong. You don t look very well now, said Philip. I wasn t fit to come out tonight, but I couldn t help myself, I wanted the money. I wrote to Emil and told him I was broke, but he never cheap boys football tops even answered the letter. You might have written to me. I didn t like to, not after what happened, and I didn t want you to know I was in difficulties. I shouldn t have been surprised if you d just told me I d only got what I deserved. You don t know me very well, do you, even now For a moment he remembered all the anguish he had suffered on her account, and he was sick with the recollection of his pain. But it was no more than recollection. When he looked at her he knew that he no longer loved her. He was very sorry for her, but he was glad to be free. Watching her gravely, he asked himself why he had been so besotted with passion for her. You re a gentleman in every sense of the word, she said. You re the only one I ve ever met. She paused for a minute and then flushed. I hate asking you, Philip, but can you spare me anything It s lucky I ve got some money on me. I m afraid I ve only got two pounds. He gave her the sovereigns. I ll pay you back, Philip. Oh, that s all right, he smiled. You needn t worry. He had said nothing that he wanted to say. They had talked as if the whole thing were natural and it looked as though she would go now, back to the horror of her life, and he would be able to do nothing to prevent it. She had got up to take the money, and they were both standing. Am I keeping you she asked. I suppose you want to be getting home. No, I m in no h.tle perfect limbs, he knew he would be beautiful cheap boys football tops and he would make over to him all his dreams of a rich and varied life. And thinking over the long cheap boys football tops pilgrimage of his past he accepted it joyfully. He accepted the deformity which had made life so hard for him he knew that it had warped his character, but now he saw also that by reason of it he had acquired that power of introspection which had given him so much delight. Without it he would never have had his keen appreciation of beauty, his passion for art and literature, and his interest in the varied spectacle of life. The ridicule and the contempt which had so often been heaped upon him had turned his mind inward and called forth those flowers which he felt would never lose their fragrance. Then he saw that the normal was the rarest thing in the world. Everyone had some defect, of body or of mind he thought of all the people he had known the whole world was like a sick house, and there was no rhyme or reason in it , he saw a long procession, deformed in body and warped in mind, some with illness of the flesh, weak hearts or weak lungs, and some with illness of the spirit, languor of will, or a craving for liquor. At this moment he could feel a holy compassion for them all. They were the helpless instruments of blind chance. He could pardon Griffiths for his treachery and chelsea fc childrens kit Mildred for the pain she had caused him. They could not help themselves. The only reasonable thing was to accept the good of men and be patient with their faults. The words of the dying God crossed his memory Forgive them, for they know not ronaldo t shirt real madrid what they do. chapter 122 He had arranged to meet Sally on Saturday in the National Gallery. She was to come there as soon as she was released from the shop and had agreed to lunch with him. Two days had passed since he had seen her, and his exultation had not left him for a moment. It was because he rejoiced in the feeling that he had not attempted to see her. He had repeated to himself exactly what he would say to her and how he should say it. Now his impatience was unbearable. He had written to Doctor South and had in his pocket a telegram from him received that morning Sacking the mumpish fool. When will you come Philip walked along Parliament Street. It was a fine day, and there was a bright, frosty sun which made the light dance in the street. It was crowded. There was a tenuous mist in the distance, and it softened exquisitely the noble lines of the bui.
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