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It was no use to ask her, she would deny everything if he wanted to know he must find out for himself. He was in the habit of leaving her every evening buy spurs third kit at eight, and when the buy spurs third kit clock struck he got up but instead of going back to Harrington Street he stationed himself at the corner of Fitzroy Square so that he could see anyone who came along William Street. It seemed to him that he waited an interminable time, and he was on the point of going away, thinking his surmise had been mistaken, when the door of No. 7 opened and Mildred came out. He fell back into the darkness and watched her walk towards him. She had on the hat with a quantity of feathers on it which he had seen in her room, and she wore buy spurs third kit a dress he recognized, too showy for the street and unsuitable to the time of year. He followed her slowly till she came into the Tottenham Court Road, where she slackened her pace at the corner of Oxford Street she stopped, looked round, and crossed over to a music hall. He went up to her and touched her on the arm. He saw that she had rouged her cheeks and painted her lips. Where are you going, Mildred She started at the sound of his voice and reddened as she always did when she was caught in a lie then the flash of anger which he knew so well came into her eyes as she instinctively sought to defend herself by abuse. But she did not say the words which were on the tip of her tongue. Oh, I was only going to see the show. It gives me the hump sitting every night by myself. He did not pretend to believe her. You mustn t. Good heavens, I ve told you fifty times how dangerous it is. You must stop this sort of thing at once. Oh, hold your jaw, she cried roughly. How d you buy spurs third kit suppose I m going to live He took hold of her arm and without thinking what he was doing tried to drag her away. For God s sake come along. Let me take you home. You don t know what you re doing. It s criminal. What do I care Let them take their chance. Men haven t been so good to me that I need bother my head about them. She pushed him away and walking up to the box office put down her money. Philip had threepence in his pocket. He could not follow. He turned away and walked slowly down Oxfo.
Griffiths knew how passionately devoted he was to Mildred he might have spared him. He did not see Mildred again till Friday he was sick for a sight of her by then but when she came and he realised that he had gone out of her thoughts entirely, for they were engrossed in Griffiths, he suddenly hated her. He saw now why she and Griffiths loved one another, Griffiths was stupid, oh so stupid he had known that all along, but had shut his eyes to it, stupid and empty headed that charm of his concealed an utter selfishness he was willing to manchester city goalkeeper kit dream league sacrifice anyone to his appetites. And how inane was the life he led, lounging about bars and drinking in music halls, wandering from one light amour to another He never read a book, he was blind to everything that latest football shirts was not frivolous and vulgar he had never a thought that buy spurs third kit was fine the word most common on his lips was smart that was his highest praise for man or woman. Smart It was no wonder he pleased Mildred. They suited one another. Philip talked to Mildred of things that mattered to neither of them. He knew she wanted to speak of Griffiths, but he gave her no opportunity. He did not refer to the fact that two evenings before she had put off dining with him on a trivial excuse. He was casual with her, trying to make her think he was suddenly grown indifferent and he exercised peculiar skill in saying little things which he knew would wound her but which were so indefinite, so delicately cruel, that she could not take exception to them. At last she got up. I think I must be going off now, she said. I daresay you ve got a lot to do, he answered. She held out her hand, he took it, said good bye, and opened the door for her. He knew what she wanted to speak about, and he knew also that his cold, ironical air intimidated her. Often his shyness made him seem so frigid that unintentionally he frightened people, and, having discovered this, he was able when occasion arose to assume the same manner. You haven t forgotten what you promised she said at last, as he held open the door. What is that About the money How much d bayern munich alternate jersey you want He spoke with an icy deliberation which made his words peculiarly offensive. Mildred flushed. He knew she hated him at that moment, and he wondered at the self control by which she prevented herself from flying out buy spurs third kit at him. He wanted to make her suffer. There s the dress and the book tomorrow. That s all. Harry won t come, so we shan t want. money for that. Philip s heart gave a great thud agai.with them, she cried. It only means that another lot of lazy loafers will make a good thing out of the working classes. My motto is, leave me alone I don t want juventus shirt 19/20 anyone interfering with me I ll make the best of a bad job, and the devil take the hindmost. D you call life a bad job said Athelny. Never We ve had our ups and downs, buy spurs third kit we ve had our struggles, we ve always been poor, but it s been worth it, ay. , worth it a hundred times I say when I look round at my children. You do talk, Athelny, she said, looking at him, not with anger but with scornful calm. You ve had the pleasant part of the children, I ve had the bearing of them, and the bearing with them. I don t say that I m not fond of them, now they re there, but if I had my time over again I d remain single. Why, if I d remained single I buy spurs third kit might have a little shop by now, manchester united shirts and four or five hundred pounds in the bank, and a girl to do the rough work. Oh, I wouldn t go over my life again, not for something. Philip thought of the countless millions to whom life is no more than unending labour, neither beautiful nor ugly, but just to be accepted in the same spirit as one accepts the changes of the seasons. Fury seized him because it all seemed useless. He could not reconcile himself to the belief that life had no meaning and yet everything he saw, all his thoughts, added to the force of his conviction. But though fury seized him it was a joyful fury. life was not so horrible if it was meaningless, and he faced it with a strange sense of power. chapter 109 The autumn passed into winter. Philip had left his address with Mrs. Foster, his uncle s housekeeper, so that she might communicate with him, but still went once a week to the hospital on the chance of there being a letter. One evening he saw his name on an envelope in a handwriting he had hoped never to see again. It gave him a queer feeling. For a little while he could not bring himself to take it. It brought back a host of hateful memories. But at length, impatient with himself, he ripped open the envelope. 7 William Street, Fitzroy Square. Dear Phil, Can I see you for a minute or two as soon as possible. I am in awful trouble and don t know what to do. It s not money. Yours truly, Mildred. He tore the letter into little bits and going out into the street scattered them in the darkness. I ll see her damned, he muttered. A feeling of disgust surged up in him at the thought of seeing her again. He did not care if she was in distress, it served h.ix o clock they were finished. Philip, exhausted by standing all the time, by the bad air, and by the attention he had given, strolled over with his fellow clerks to the Medical School to have tea. He found the work of absorbing interest. There was humanity there in the man united gear rough, the materials the artist worked on and Philip felt a curious thrill when it occurred to him that he was in the position of the artist and the patients were like clay in his hands. He remembered with an amused shrug of the shoulders his life in Paris, absorbed in colour, tone, values, Heaven knows what, with the aim of producing beautiful things the directness of contact with men and women gave a thrill of power which he had never known. He found an endless excitement in looking at their faces and hearing them speak they came in each with his peculiarity, some shuffling uncouthly, some with a little trip, others with heavy, slow tread, some shyly. Often you could guess their trades by the look of them. You learnt in what way to put your questions so that they should be understood, you discovered on what subjects nearly all lied, and by what inquiries you could extort the truth notwithstanding. You saw the different way people took the same things. The diagnosis of dangerous illness would be accepted by one with a laugh and a joke, by another with dumb despair. Philip found that he was less shy with these people than he had buy spurs third kit ever been with others he felt not exactly sympathy, for sympathy suggests condescension but he felt at home with them. He found that he was able to put them at their ease, and, when he had been given a case to find out what he could about it, it seemed to him that the patient delivered himself into his hands with a peculiar con. fidence. Perhaps, he thought to himself, with a smile, perhaps I m cut out manchester united baby clothes india to be a doctor. It would be rather a lark if I d hit upon the one thing I m fit for. It seemed to Philip that he alone of the clerks saw the dramatic interest of those afternoons. 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