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Philip searched among her things for the address of some friend with whom he could communicate. He found a piece of paper on which his own name was written a score of times. It gave him a peculiar shock. He supposed it was true that she had loved him he thought of the emaciated body, in the brown dress, hanging from the nail in the ceiling and he shuddered. But if she had cared for him why did she not let him help her He would so gladly have done all he could. He felt remorseful because he had refused to see that she looked upon him with any particular feeling, and now these words in her letter were infinitely pathetic I can t bear the thought that anyone else should touch me. She had died of starvation. Philip found at length a letter signed your loving brother, Albert. it was two or three weeks old, dated from some road in Surbiton, and refused a loan of five pounds. 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He had a real feeling for literature, and he could impart his own passion with an real madrid kit sizes admirable fluency. He could throw himself into sympathy with a writer and bayern munich tracksuit 2019 see all that was best in him, and then he could talk about him with understanding. Philip had read a man utd shirt 1980 great deal, but he had read without discrimination everything that he happened to come across, and it was very good for him now to meet someone who could guide his taste. He borrowed books from the small lending library which the town possessed and began reading all the wonderful things that Hayward spoke of. He did not read always with enjoyment but invariably with perseverance. He was eager for self improvement. He felt himself very ignorant and very humble. By the end of August, when Weeks returned from South Germany, Philip was completely under Hayward s influence. Hayward did not like Weeks. He deplored the American s black coat and pepper and salt trousers, and spoke with a scornful shrug of his New England conscience. Philip listened complacently to the abuse of a man who had gone out of his way to be kind to him, but when Weeks in his turn made disagreeable remarks about Hayward he lost his temper. Your new friend looks like a poet, said Weeks, with a thin smile on his careworn, bitter mouth. He is a poet. Did he tell you so In America we should call him a pretty fair specimen of a waster. Well, we re not in America, said Philip frigidly. How old is he Twenty five And he does nothing but stay in pensions and write poetry. You don t know him, said Philip hotly. Oh yes, I do I ve met a hundred and forty seven of him. Weeks eyes twinkled, but Philip, who did not understand American humour, pursed his lips and looked severe. Weeks to Philip seemed a man of middle age, but he was in point of fact little more than thirty. He had a long, thin body and the scholar s stoop his head was large and ugly he had pale scanty hair and an earthy skin his thin mouth and thin, long nose, and the great protuberance of his frontal bones, gave him an uncouth look. He was cold and precise in his manner, a bloodless man, without passion but he had a curious vein of frivolity which disconcerted the serious minded among whom his instincts naturally threw him. He was studying theolog. y in Heidelberg, but the other theological students of his own nationality looked upon him with suspicion. He was very unorthodox, which frightened them and his freakish humour excited their disapproval. How can you have known a.iven this. It was always a stranger to Blackstable, and Mr. Carey wondered who he was. But Miss Graves had observed the rash act and was able to tell Mrs. Carey that the stranger came from London, was married and had children. During the drive home Mrs. Carey passed the information on, and the Vicar made up his mind to call on him and ask for a subscription to the Additional Curates Society. Mr. Carey asked if Philip had behaved properly and Mrs. Carey remarked that Mrs. Wigram had a new mantle, Mr. Cox was not in church, and somebody thought that Miss Phillips was engaged. When they reached the vicarage they all felt that they deserved a substantial dinner. When this was over Mrs. Carey went to her room to rest, and Mr. Carey lay down on the sofa in the drawing room for forty winks. They had tea at five, and the Vicar ate an egg to support himself for evensong. Mrs. Carey did not go to this so that Mary Ann might, but she read the service through and bayern munich tracksuit 2019 the hymns. Mr. Carey walked to church in the evening, and Philip limped along by his side. The walk through the darkness along the country road strangely impressed him, chelsea jersey online and the church with all its lights in the distance, coming gradually nearer, seemed very friendly. At first he was shy with his uncle, but little by little grew used to him, and he would slip his hand in his uncle s and walk more easily for the feeling of protection. They had supper when they got home. Mr. Carey s slippers were waiting for him on a footstool in front of the fire and by their side Philip s, one the shoe of a small boy, the other misshapen and odd. He was dreadfully tired when he went up to bed, and he did not resist when Mary Ann undressed him. She kissed him after she tucked him up, and he began to love her. Z chapter 8 Philip had led always the solitary life of an only child, and his loneliness at the vicarage was no greater than it had been when his mother lived. He made friends with Mary Ann. She was a chubby little person of thirty five, the daughter of a fisherman, and had come to the vicarage at eighteen it was her first place and she had no intention of leaving it but she held a possible marriage as a rod over the timid heads of her master and mistress. Her father and mother lived in a little house off Harbour Street, and she went to see them on her evenings out. Her stories of the sea touched Philip s imagination, and the narrow alleys round the harbour grew rich with the roma.her to make some reference to the fact that he had not been there for a week, but when she came up for his order she said nothing. He had heard her say to other customers I d sooner starve, Philip muttered to himself. You re quite a stranger. Once or twice the po. ssibility of suicide presented itself to him it would be easy to get something from the hospital dispensary, and it was a comfort to think that if the worst came to the worst he had at hand means of making a painless end of himself but it was not a course that he considered seriously. When Mildred had left him to go with Griffiths his anguish had been so great that he wanted to die in order to get rid of the pain. He did not feel like that now. He remembered that the Casualty Sister had told him how people oftener did away with themselves for want of money than for want of love and he chuckled when he thought that he was an exception. He wished only that he could talk his worries over with somebody, but he could not bring himself to confess them. He was ashamed. He went on looking for work. He left his rent unpaid for three weeks, explaining to his landlady that he would get money at the end of the month she did not say anything, but pursed her lips and looked grim. When the end of the month came and she asked if it would be convenient for him to pay something on account, it made him feel very sick to say that he could not he told her he would write to his uncle and was sure to be able to settle his bill on the following Saturday. She gave no sign that she had ever seen him before. In order to see whether she had really forgotten him, when she brought his tea, he asked Well, I ope you will, Mr. Carey, because I ave my rent to pay, and I can t afford bayern munich tracksuit 2019 to let accounts run on. She did not speak with anger, but with determination that was rather frightening. She paused for a moment and then said If you don t pay next Saturday, I shall ave to complain to the secretary of the ospital. Have you seen my friend tonight Oh yes, that ll be all right. No, he s not been in here for some days. She looked at him for a little and glanced round the bare room. When she spoke it was without any emphasis, as though it were quite a natural thing to say. He wanted to use this as the beginning of a conversation, but he was strangely nervous and could think of nothing to say. She gave him no opportunity, but at once went away. He had no chance of saying anything till he asked for his bill. I ve got a nice ot.
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