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You know, you say you love me, but if you really loved me you d want to marry me. You ve never asked me to marry you. You know I can t afford it. After all, I m in my first year, I shan t earn a penny for six years. Oh, I m not blaming you. I wouldn t marry you if you went down on your bended knees to me. He had thought of marriage more than once, but it was a step from which he shrank. In Paris he had come by the opinion that marriage was a ridiculous institution of the philistines. He knew also that a permanent tie would ruin him. He had middle class instincts, and it seemed a dreadful thing to him to marry a waitress. A common wife would prevent him from getting a decent practice. Besides, he had only just enough money to last him till he was qualified he could not keep a wife even if they arranged not to have children. He thought of Cronshaw bound to a vulgar slattern, and he shuddered with dismay. 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It is not wealth one asks for, but just enough to preserve one s dignity, to work unhampered, to be generous, frank, and independent. I pity with all my heart the artist, whether he writes or paints, who is entirely dependent for subsistence upon his art. Philip quietly put away the various things which he had shown. I m afraid that sounds as if you didn t think I had much chance. Monsieur Foinet slightly shrugged his shoulders. You have a certain manual dexterity. With hard work and perseverance there is no reason why you should not become a careful, not incompetent painter. You would find hundreds who painted worse than you, hundreds who painted as well. I see no talent in anything you have shown me. I see industry and intelligence. You will never be anything but mediocre. Philip obliged himself to answer quite steadily. I m very grateful to you for having taken so much trouble
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I m sure your dear mamma never allowed you to do such a wicked thing as that. Philip did not know it was wicked but if it was, he did not wish it to be supposed that his mother had consented to it. He hung his head and did not answer. Don t you know it s very, very wicked to play on Sunday What d you suppose it s called the day of rest for You re going to church tonight, and how can you face your Maker when you ve been breaking one of His laws in the afternoon Mr. Carey told him to put the bricks away at once, and stood over him while Philip did so. You re a very naughty boy, he repeated. Think of the grief you re causing your poor mother in heaven. Philip felt inclined to cry, but he had an instinctive disinclination to letting other people see his tears, and he clenched his teeth to prevent the sobs from escaping. Mr. Carey sat down in his arm chair and began to turn over the pages of a book. Philip stood at the window. The vicarag. e was set back from the highroad to Tercanbury, and from the dining room one saw a semicircular strip of lawn and then as far as the horizon green fields. Sheep were grazing in them. The sky was forlorn and gray. Philip felt infinitely unhappy. Presently Mary Ann came in to lay the tea, and Aunt Louisa descended the stairs. Have you had a nice little nap, William she asked. No, he answered. Philip made so much noise that I couldn t sleep a wink. This was not quite accurate, for he had been kept awake by his own thoughts and Philip, listening sullenly, reflected that he had only made a noise once, and there was no reason.something to my foot. I couldn t spare the time before, but now it doesn t matter so much. I shall start my dressing in October instead of next month. I shall only be in hospital a few weeks and then we can go away to the seaside for the rest of the summer. It ll do us all good, you and the baby and me. Oh, let s go to Brighton, Philip, I like Brighton, you get such a nice class of people there. Philip had vaguely thought of some little fishing village in Cornwall, but as she spoke it occurred to him that Mildred would be bored to death there. I don t mind where we go as long as I get the sea. He did not know why, but he had suddenly an irresistible longing for the sea. He wanted to bathe, and he thought with delight of splashing about in the salt water. He was a good swimmer, and nothing exhilarated him like a rough sea. I say, it will be jolly, he cried. It ll be like english premier league store london a honeymoon, won portugal football team jersey t it she said. How much can I have for my new dress, Phil chapter 94 Philip asked Mr. Jacobs, the assistant surgeon for whom he had dressed, to do the operation. Jacobs accepted with pleasure, since he was interested just then in neglected talipes and was getting together materials for a paper. He warned Philip that he could not make his foot like the other, but he thought he could do a good deal and though he would always limp he would be able to wear a boot less unsightly than that which he had been accustomed to. Philip remembered how he had prayed to a God who was able to remove mountains for him who had faith, and he smiled bitterly. I don t expect a miracle, he answered. I think you re wise to let me try what I can do. You ll find a club foot rather a handicap in practice. The layman is full of fads, and he doesn t like his doctor to have anything the matter with him. Philip went into a small ward , which was a room on the landing, outside each ward, reserved for special cases. He remained there a month, for the surgeon would not let him go till he could walk and, bearing the operation very well, he had a pleasant enough time. Lawson and Athelny came to see him, and one day Mrs. Athelny brought two of her children students whom he knew looked in now and again to have a chat Mildred came twice a week. Everyone was very kind to him, and Philip, always surprised when anyone took trouble with him, was touched and grateful. He enjoyed the relief from care he need not worry there about the future, neither whether his money would l.