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the impression that his situation was too preposterous to be taken quite seriously it was like an illness which must be endured but from which he was bound to recover. Every night he swore that nothing would induce him to put up with such another and determined next morning to write to his uncle or to Mr. Nixon the solicitor or to Lawson but when the time came he could not bring himself to make the humiliating confession of his utter barcelona shirts 2019/20 failure. He did not know how Lawson would take it. In their friendship Lawson had been scatter brained and he had prided himself on his common sense. He would have to tell the whole history of his folly. He had an uneasy feeling that Lawson after helping him would turn the cold shoulder on him. His uncle and the solicitor would of course do something for him but he dreaded their reproaches. He did not want anyone to reproach him he clenched his teeth and repeated that what had happened was inevitable just because it had happened. Regret was absurd. The days were unending and the five shillings Lawson had lent him would not last much longer. Philip longed for Sunday to come so that he could go to Athelny s. He did not know what prevented him from going there sooner except perhaps that he wanted so badly to get through on his own for Athelny who had been in straits as desperate was the only person who could do anything for him. Perhaps after dinner he could bring himself to tell Athelny that he was in difficulties. Philip repeated to himself over and over again what he should say to him. He was dreadfully afraid that Athelny would put barcelona shirts 2019/20 him off with airy phrases that would be so horrible that he wanted to delay as long as possible the putting of him to the test. Philip had lost all confidence in his fellows. Saturday night was cold and raw. Philip suffered horribly. From midday on Saturday till he dragged himself wearily to Athelny s house he ate nothing. He spent his last twopence on Sunday morning on a wash and a brush up in the lavatory at Charing Cross. chapter 101 When Philip rang a head was put out of the window, and in a minute he heard a noisy clatter on the stairs as the children ran down to let him in. It was a manchester united shirt old trafford pale, anxious, thin face that he bent down for them to kiss. He was so moved by their exuberant affection that, to give himself time to recover, he made excuses to linger on the stairs. He was in a hysterical state and almost anything was enough to make barcelona shirts 2019/20 him cry. They aske.ace fell, and he stared at Clutton with astonishment he had no notion what he meant, Clutton had no gift of expression in words, and he spoke as though it were an effort. What he had to say was confused, halting, and verbose but Philip knew the words which served as the text of his rambling discourse. Clutton, who never read, had heard them first from Cronshaw and though they had made small impression, they had remained in his memory and lately, emerging on a sudden, had acquired the character of a revelation a good painter had two chief objects to paint, namely, man and the intention of his soul. The Impressionists had been occupied with other problems, they had painted man admirably, but they had troubled themselves as little as the English portrait painters of the eighteenth century with the intention of his soul. But when you try to get that you become literary, said Lawson, interrupting. Let me paint the man like Manet, and the intention of his soul can go to the devil. That would be all very well if you could beat Manet at his own game, but you can t get anywhere near him. You can t feed yourself on the day before yesterday, it s ground which has been swept dry. You must go back. It s when I saw the Grecos that I felt one could get something more out of portraits than we knew before. It s just going back to Ruskin, cried Lawson. No you see, he went for morality I don t care a damn for morality teaching doesn t come in, ethics and all that, but passion and emotion. The greatest portrait painters have painted both, man and the intention of his soul Rembrandt and El Greco it s only the second raters who ve only painted man. A lily of the valley would be lovely even if it didn t smell, but it s more lovely because it has perfume. That picture he pointed to Lawson s portrait well, the drawing s all right and so s the modelling all right, but just conventional it ought to be drawn and modelled so that you know the girl s a lousy slut. Correctness is all very well El Greco made his people eight feet high because he wanted to express something he couldn t get any other way. Damn El Greco, said Lawson, what s the good of jawing about a man when we haven t a chance of seeing any of his work Clutton shrugged his shoulders, smoked a cigarette in silence, and went away. Philip and Lawson looked at one another. There s something in what he says, said Philip. Lawson stared ill temperedly at his picture. How the devil is on.of pride filled his intelligent eyes. He took off his hat and changed his coat glanced at the letters and then at the men who were waiting to see him. He made a slight cheap paris saint germain shirt 2019 sign with one finger and the first in the queue stepped into the office. They filed past him one by one and answered his questions. He put them very briefly keeping his eyes fixed on the applicant s face. Age Experience Why did you leave your job He listened to the replies without expression. When it came to barcelona shirts 2019/20 neymar brazil jersey Philip s turn he fancied that Mr. Gibbons stared at him curiously. Philip s clothes were neat and tolerably cut. He looked a little different from the others. Experience I m afraid I haven t any said Philip. No good. barcelona shirts 2019/20 Philip walked out of the office. The ordeal had been so much less painful than he expected that he felt no particular disappointment. He could hardly hope to succeed in getting a place the first time he tried. He had kept the newspaper and now looked at the advertisements again a shop in Holborn needed a salesman too and he went there but when he arrived he found that someone had already been engaged. If he wanted to get anything to eat that day he must go to Lawson s studio before he went out to luncheon so he made his way along the Brompton Road to Yeoman s Row. I say I m rather broke till the end of the month he said barcelona shirts 2019/20 as soon as he found an opportunity. I wish you d lend me half a sovereign will you It was incredible the difficulty he found in asking for money and he remembered the casual way as though a. lmost they were conferring a favour men at the hospital had extracted small sums out of him which they had no intention of repaying. Like a shot said Lawson. But when he put his print t-shirts barcelona hand in his pocket he found that he had only eight shillings. Philip s heart sank. Oh well lend me five bob will you he said barcelona shirts 2019/20 lightly. Here you are. Philip went to the public baths in Westminster and spent sixpence on a bath. Then he got himself something to eat. He did not know what to do with himself in the afternoon. He would not go back to the hospital in case anyone should ask him questions and besides he had nothing to do there now they would wonder in the two or three departments he had worked in why he did not come but they must think what they chose it did not matter he would not be the first student who had dropped out without warning. He went to the free library and looked at the papers till they wearied him then he took out Stevenson s New Arabian Nights but he found he cou.
Barcelona Shirts 2019/20 ught of the object of his affections. She had the most adorable little nose and large brown eyes he would describe her to Hayward and masses of soft brown hair, the sort of hair it was delicious to bury your face in, and a skin which barcelona shirts 2019/20 was like ivory and sunshine, and her cheek was like a red, red rose. How old was she Eighteen perhaps, and he called her Musette. Her laughter was like a rippling brook, and her voice was so soft, so low, it was the sweetest music he had ever heard. What ARE you thinking about Philip stopped suddenly. He was walking slowly home. I ve been waving at you for the last quarter of a mile. You ARE absent minded. Miss Wilkinson was standing in front of him, laughing at his surprise. I thought I d come and meet you. That s awfully nice of you, he said. Did I startle you You did a bit, he admitted. He wrote barcelona shirts 2019/20 his letter to Hayward all the same. There were eight pages of it. The fortnight that remained passed quickly, and though each evening, when they went into the garden after supper, Miss Wilkinson remarked that one day more had gone, Philip was in too. cheerful spirits to let the thought depress him. One night Miss Wilkinson suggested that it would be delightful if she could exchange her situation in Berlin for one in London. Then they could see one another constantly. Philip said it would be very jolly, but the prospect aroused no enthusiasm in him he was looking forward to a wonderful life in London, and he preferred not to be hampered. He spoke a little too freely of all he meant to do, and allowed Miss Wilkinson to see that already he was longing to be off. You wouldn t talk like that if you loved me, she cried. He was taken aback and remained silent. What a fool I ve been, she muttered. To his surprise he saw that she was crying. He had a tender heart, and hated to see anyone miserable. Oh, I m awfully sorry. What have I done Don t cry. Oh, Philip, don t leave me. You don t know what you mean to me. I have such a wretched life, and you ve made me so happy. He kissed her silently. There really was anguish in her tone, and he was frightened. It had never occurred to him that she meant what she said quite, quite seriously. I m awfully sorry. You know I m frightfully fond of you. I wish you would come to London. You know I can t. Places are almost impossible to get, and I hate English life. Almost unconscious that he was acting a part, moved by her distress, he pressed her more and more. Her tears vaguely flattered him.with a friend in the basement, and he waited for her on the landing. He heard Henrietta Watkin s voice. His mother was my greatest friend. I can t bear to think that she s dead. You oughtn t to have gone to the funeral, Henrietta, said her sister. I knew it would upset you. Then one of the strangers spoke. Poor little boy, it s dreadful to think of him quite alone in the world. I see he limps. Yes, he s got a club foot. It was such a grief to his mother. Then Emma came back. They called a hansom, and she told the driver where to go. chapter 3 When they reached the house Mrs. Carey had died in it was in a dreary, respectable street between Notting Hill Gate and High Street, Kensington Emma led Philip into the drawing room. His uncle was writing letters of thanks for the wreaths which had been sent. One of them, which had arrived too late for the funeral, lay in its cardboard box on the hall table. Here s Master Philip, said Emma. Mr. Carey stood up slowly and shook hands with the little boy. Then on second thoughts he bent down and kissed his forehead. He was a man of somewhat less than average height, inclined to corpulence, with his hair, worn long, arranged over the scalp so as to conceal his baldness. He was clean shaven. His real madrid kits dls classic features were regular, and it was possible to imagine that in his youth he had been good looking. On his watch chain he wore a gold cross. You re going to live with me now, Philip, said Mr. Carey. Shall you like that Two years before Philip had been sent down to stay at the vicarage after an attack of chicken pox but there remained with him a recollection of an attic and a large garden rather than of his uncle and aunt. Yes. You must look upon me and your Aunt Louisa as your father and mother. The child s mouth trembled a little, he reddened, but did not answer. Your dear mother left you in my charge. Mr. Carey had no great ease in expressing himself. When the news came that his sister in law was dying, he set off at once for London, but on the way thought of nothing but the disturbance in his life that would be caused if her death forced him to undertake the care of her son. He was well over fifty, and his wife, to whom he had been married for thirty years, was childless he did not look forward with any pleasure to the presence of a small boy who might be noisy and rough. He had never much liked his sis. ter in law. I m going to take you down to Blackstable tomorrow, he said. With Emma The child put his hand in hers.