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He had no feeling for the old man, he had never liked him he had been selfish all his life, selfish to his wife who adored him, indifferent to the boy who had been put in his charge he was not a cruel man, but a stupid, hard man, eaten up with a small sensuality. It would be easy, desperately easy. Philip did not dare. He was afraid of remorse it would be no good having the money if he regretted all his life what he barcelona football t-shirts sale had done. Though he had told himself so often that regret was futile, there were certain things that came back to him occasionally and worried him. He wished they were not on his conscience. His uncle opened his eyes Philip was glad, for he looked a little more human then. He was frankly horrified at the idea that had come to him, it was murder that he was meditating and he wondered if other people had such thoughts or whether he was abnormal and depraved. He supposed he could not have done it when it came to the point, but there the thought was, constantly recurring if he held his hand it was from fear. His uncle spoke. You re not looking forward to my death, Philip Philip felt his heart beat against his chest. Good heavens, no. That s a good boy. I shouldn t like you to do that. You ll get a little bit of money when I pass away, but you mustn t look forward to it. It wouldn t profit you if you did. He spoke in a low voice, and there was a curious anxiety in his tone. It sent a pang into Philip s heart. He wondered what strange insight might have led the old man to surmise what strange desires were in Philip s mind. I hope you ll live for another twenty years, he said. Oh, well, I can t expect to do that, but if I take care of myself I don t see why I s.he felt himself at last absolutely free. In a desultory way he had read a good deal of philosophy, and he looked forward with delight to the leisure of the next few months. He began to read at haphazard. He entered upon each system with a little thrill of excitement, expecting to find in each some guide by which he could rule his conduct he felt himself like a traveller in unknown countries and as he pushed forward the enterprise fascinated him he read emotionally, as other men read pure literature, and his heart leaped as he discovered in noble words what himself had obscurely felt. His mind was concrete and moved with difficulty in regions of the abstract but, even when he could not follow the reasoning, it gave him a curious pleasure to follow the barcelona football t-shirts sale tortuosities of thoughts that threaded their nimble way on the edge of the incomprehensible. Sometimes great philosophers seemed to have nothing to say to him, but at others he recognised a mind cheap 6 aside football kits with which he felt himself at home. He was like the explorer in Central Africa who comes suddenly upon wide uplands, with great trees in them and stretches of meadow, so that he might fancy himself in an English park. He delighted in the robust common sense of Thomas Hobbes Spinoza filled him with awe, he had never before come in contact with a mind so noble, so unapproachable and austere it reminded him of that statue by Rodin, L Age d Airain, which he passionately admired and then real madrid green jersey barcelona football t-shirts sale there was Hume the scepticism of that charming philosopher touched a kindred note in Philip and, revelling in the lucid style which seemed able to put complicated thought into simple words, musical and measured, he read as he might have read a novel, a smile of pleasure on his lips. But in none could he find exactly what he wanted. He had read somewhere that every man was born a Platonist, an Aristotelian, a Stoic, or an Epicurean and the history of George Henry Lewes besides telling you that philosophy was all moonshine was there to show that the thought of each philospher was inseparably connected with the man he was. When you knew that you could guess to a great extent the philosophy he wrote. It looked as though you did not act in a certain way because you thought in a certain way, but rather that you thought in a certain way because you were made in a certain way. Truth had nothing to do with it. There was no such thing as truth. Each man was his own philosopher, and the elaborate systems whic.
ur told him were preparing country orders that had come in by post. At about a quarter past nine the buyer arrived. He heard one of the men who were waiting say to another that it was Mr. Gibbons. He was middle aged short and corpulent with a black beard and dark greasy hair. He had brisk movements and a clever face. He wore a silk hat and a frock coat the lapel of which was adorned with a white geranium surrounded by leaves. He went into his office leaving the door open barcelona football t-shirts sale it was very small and contained only an American roll desk in the corner a bookcase and a cupboard. The men standing outside watched him mechanically take the geranium out of his coat and put it in an ink pot filled with water. It was against the rules to wear flowers in business. During the day the department men who wanted to keep in with the governor admired the flower. I ve never seen better they said you didn t grow it yourself Yes I did he smiled and a gleam of pride filled his intelligent eyes. He took off his hat and changed his coat glanced at the letters and then at the men who were waiting to see him. He made a slight sign with one finger and the first in the queue stepped into the office. They filed past him one by one and answered his questions. He put them very briefly keeping his eyes fixed on the applicant s face. Age Experience Why did you leave your job He listened to the replies without expression. When it came to Philip s turn he fancied that Mr. Gibbons stared at him curiously. Philip s clothes were neat and tolerably cut. He looked a little different from the others. Experience I m afraid I haven t any said Philip. No good. Philip walked out of the office. The ordeal had been so much less painful than he expected that he felt no particular disappointment. He could hardly hope to succeed in getting a place the first time he tried. 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