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did not know what words he could use to make her see his point arsenal squad shirt numbers of view. He wanted to speak coolly and deliberately, but he was in such a turmoil of e. motion that he could not clear his thoughts. It s not worth while sacrificing everything for an infatuation that you know can t last. After all, he doesn t care for anyone more than ten days, and you re rather cold that sort of thing doesn t mean very much to you. That s what you think. She made it more difficult for him by adopting a cantankerous tone. If you re in love with him you can t help it. I ll just bear it as best I can. We get on very well together, you and I, and I ve not behaved badly to you, have I I ve always known that you re not in love with me, but you like me all right, and when we get over to Paris you ll forget about Griffiths. If you make up your mind to put him out of your thoughts you won t find it so hard as all that, and I ve deserved that you should do something for me. She did not answer, and they went on eating their dinner. When the silence grew oppressive Philip began to talk of indifferent things. He pretended not to notice that Mildred was inattentive. Her answers were perfunctory, and she volunteered no remarks of her own. At last she interrupted abruptly what he was saying Philip, I m afraid I shan t be able to go away on Saturday. The doctor says I oughtn t to. He knew this was not true, but he answered When will you be able to come away She glanced at him, saw that his face was white and rigid, and looked nervously away. She was at that moment a little afraid of him. I may as well tell you and have done with it, I can t come away with you at all. I thought you were driving at that. It s too late to change your mind now. arsenal squad shirt numbers I ve got the tickets and everything. You said you didn t wish me to go unless I wanted it too, and I don t. I ve changed my mind. I m not going to have any more tricks played with me. You must come. I like you very much, Philip, as a friend. But I can t bear to think of anything else. I don t like you that way. I couldn t, Philip. You were quite willing to a week ago. It was different then. You hadn t met Griffiths You said yourself I couldn t help it if I m in love with him. Her face was set into a sulky look, and she kept her eyes fixed on her plate. Philip was white with rage. He would have liked to hit her in the face with his clenched fist, and in fancy he saw how she would look with a black eye. There were two lads of eighteen dining at.atre. Philip was silent. They came to the station, and he went to the booking office. I ve got my season, she said. I thought I d take you home as it s rather late, if you don t mind. Oh, I don t mind if it gives you any pleasure. He took a single first for her and a return for himself. Well, you re not mean, I will say that for you, she said, when he opened the carriage door. Philip did not know whether he was pleased or sorry when other people entered and it was impossible to speak. They got out at Herne Hill, and he accompanied her to the corner of the road in which she lived. I ll say good night to you here, she said, holding out her hand. You d better not come up to the door. I know what people are, and I don t want to have anybody talking. She said good night and walked quickly away. He could see the white shawl in the darkness. He thought she might turn round, but she did not. Philip saw arsenal squad shirt numbers which house she went into, and in a moment he walked along to look at it. It was a trim, common little house of yellow brick, exactly like all the other little houses in the street. He stood outside for a few minutes, and presently the window on the top floor was darkened. Philip strolled slowly back to the station. The evening had been unsatisfactory. He felt irritated, restless, and miserable. 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He found Rose in the study, with his feet on the chimney piece, talking eighteen to the dozen with half a dozen boys who were sitting on whatever there was to sit on. He shook hands with Philip enthusiastically, but Philip s face fell, for he realised that Rose had forgotten all about their appointment. I say, why are you so late said Rose. I thought you were never coming. You were at the station at half past four, said another boy. I saw you when I came. Philip blushed a little. He did not want Rose to know that he had been such a fool as to wait for him. I had to see about a friend of my people s, he invented readily. I was asked to see arsenal squad shirt numbers her off. But his disappointment made him a little sulky. He sat in silence, and when spoken to answered in monosyllables. He was making up his mind to have it out with Rose when they were alone. But when the others had gone Rose at once came over and sat on the arm of the chair in which Philip was lounging. I say, I m jolly glad we re in the same study this term. Ripping, isn t it He seemed so genuinely pleased to see Philip that Philip s annoyance vanished. They began as if they had not been separated for five minutes to talk eagerly of the thousand things that interested them. chapter 19 At first Philip had been too grateful for Rose s friendship to make any demands on him. He took things as they came and enjoyed life. But presently he began to resent Rose s universal amiability he wanted a more exclusive attachment, and he claimed as a right what before he had accepted as a favour. He watched jealously Rose s companionship with others and though he knew it was unreasonable could not help sometimes saying bitter things to him. If Rose spent an hour playing the fool in another study, Philip would receive him when he returned to his own with a sullen frown. He would sulk for a day, and he suffered more because Rose either did not notice his ill humour or deliberately ignored it. 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