17 Bayern Munich that he had been forced to prepare such a phrase as that. He could not make out why she filled him with such embarrassment. Thank you very much, Mrs. Higgins, but I m not at all hungry. It don t make much difference to me what the weather is, having to be in here all day. Very good, sir. There was an insolence in her tone that peculiarly irritated him. A sarcasm rose to his lips, but he forced himself to be silent. When she left the room Philip threw himself on his bed. He had to clench his fists in order to prevent himself from crying. I wish to God she d say something really cheeky, he raged to himself, so that I could report her and get her sacked. It would serve her damned well right. chapter 56 Saturday. It was the day on which he had promised to pay his landlady. He had been expecting something to turn up all through the week. He had found old spurs jersey no work. He had never been driven to extremities before, and he was so dazed that he did not know what to do. He had at the back of his mind a feeling that the whole thing was a preposterous joke. He had no more than a few coppers left, he had sold all the clothes he could do without he had some books and one or two odds and ends upon which he might have got a shilling or two, but the landlady was keeping an eye on his comings and goings he was afraid she would stop him if he took anything more from his room. The only thing was to tell her that he could not pay his bill. He had not the courage. It was the middle of June. The night was fine and warm. He made up his mind to stay out. He walked slowly along the Chelsea Embankment, because the river was restful and quiet, till he was tired, and then sat on a bench and dozed. He did not know how long he slept he awoke with a start, dreaming that he was being shaken by a policeman and told to move on but when he opened his eyes he found himself 17 bayern munich alone. He walked on, he did not know why, and at last came to Chiswick, where he slept again. Presently the hardness of the bench roused him. The night seemed very long. He shivered. He was seized with a sense of his misery and he did not know what on earth to do he was ashamed at having slept on the Embankment it seemed peculiarly humiliating, and he felt his cheeks flush in the darkness. He remembered stories he had heard of those who did and how among them were officers, clergymen, and men who had been to universities he wondered if he would become one of them, standing in a line to ge.ave induced her to forget herself. Mildred had no demonstrativeness, and she found the manifestations of affection ridiculous. When Philip sat with the baby on his knees, playing with it and kissing. it, she laughed at him. You couldn t make more fuss of her if you was her father, she said. You re perfectly silly with the child. Philip flushed, for he hated to be laughed at. It was absurd to be so devoted to another man s baby, and he was a little ashamed of the overflowing of his heart. But the child, feeling Philip s attachment, would put her face against his or nestle in his arms. It s all very fine for you, said Mildred. You don t have any of the disagreeable part of it. How would you like being kept awake for an hour in the middle of the night because her ladyship wouldn t go to sleep Philip remembered all sorts of things of his childhood which he thought he had long forgotten. He took hold of the baby s toes. This little pig went to market, this little pig stayed at home. When he came home in the evening and entered the sitting room his first glance was for the baby sprawling on the floor, and it gave him a little thrill of delight to hear the child s crow of pleasure at seeing him. Mildred taught her to call him daddy, and when the child did this for the first time of her own accord, laughed immoderately. I wonder if you re that stuck on baby because she s mine, asked Mildred, or if you d be the same with anybody s baby. I ve never known anybody else s baby, so I can t say, said Philip. Towards the end of his second term as in patients clerk a piece of good fortune befell Philip. It was the middle of July. He went one Tuesday evening to the tavern in Beak Street and found nobody there but Macalister. They sat together, chatting about their absent friends, and after a while Macalister said to him Oh, by the way, I heard of a rather good thing today, New Kleinfonteins it s a gold mine in Rhodesia. If you d like to have a flutter you might make a bit. Philip had been waiting anxiously for such an opportunity, but now that it came he hesitated. He was desperately afraid of losing money. He had little of the gambler s spirit. I d love to, but I don t know if I dare risk it. How much could I lose if things went wrong I shouldn t have spoken of it, only you seemed so keen about it, Macalister answered coldly. Philip felt that Macalister looked upon him as rather a donkey. I m awfully keen on making a scotland t shirts football bit, he laughed. You can t make money unles.
to dine by arrangement at the wretched eating house at which Cronshaw insisted on taking his meals, but Cronshaw did not appear. Philip learned that he had not been there for three days. He got himself something to eat and went round to the address from which Cronshaw had first written to him. He had some difficulty in finding Hyde Street. It was a street of dingy houses huddled together many of the windows had been broken and were clumsily repaired with strips of French newspaper the doors had not been painted for years there were shabby little shops on the ground floor, laundries, cobblers, stationers. Ragged children played in the road, and an old barrel organ was grinding out a vulgar tune. Philip knocked at the door of Cronshaw s house there was a shop 17 bayern munich of cheap sweetstuffs at the bottom , and it was opened by an elderly Frenchwoman in a dirty apron. Philip asked her if Cronshaw was in. Ah, yes, 17 bayern munich there is an Englishman who lives at the top, at the back. I don t know if he s in. 17 bayern munich If you want him you had better go up and see. The staircase was lit by one jet of gas. There was a revolting odour in the house. When Philip was passing up a woman came out of a room on the first floor, looked at him suspiciously, but made no remark. There were three doors on the top landing. Philip knocked at one, and knocked again there was no reply tottenham hotspur kit he tried the handle, but the door was locked. He knocked at another door, got no answer, and tried the door again. It opened. The room was dark. Who s that He recognised Cronshaw s voice. Carey. Can I come in He received no answer. He walked in. The window was closed and the stink was overpowering. There was a certain amount of light from the manchester united retro football shirts arc lamp in the street, and he saw that it was a small room with two beds in it, end to end there was a washing stand and one chair, but they left little space for anyone to move in. Cronshaw chelsea fc padded jacket was in the bed nearest the window. He made no movement, but gave a low chuckle. Why don t you light the candle he said then. Philip struck a match and discovered that there was a candlestick on the floor beside the bed. He lit it and put it on the washing stand. Cronshaw was lying on his back immobile he looked very odd in his nightshirt and his baldness was disconcerting. His face was earthy and death like. I say, old man, you look awfully ill. Is there anyone to look after you here George brings me in a bottle of milk in the morning before he goes to his work. W.read it was not a curse upon mankind, but the balm which reconciled it to existence. But Philip was impatient with himself he called to mind his idea of the pattern of life the unhappiness he had suffered was no more than part of a decoration which was elaborate and beautiful he told himself strenuously that he must accept with gaiety everything, dreariness and excitement, pleasure and pain, because it added to the richness of the design. He sought for beauty consciously, and he remembered how even as a boy he had taken pleasure in the Gothic cathedral as one saw it from the precincts he went there and looked at the massive pile, gray under the cloudy sky, with the central tower that rose like the praise of men to their God but the boys were batting at the nets, and they were lissom and strong and active he could not help hearing their shouts and laughter. The cry of youth was insistent, and he saw the beautiful thing before him only with his eyes. chapter 113 At the beginning of the last week in August Philip entered upon his duties in the district. They were arduous, for he had to attend on an average three confinements a day. The patient had obtained a card from the hospital some time before and when her time came it was taken to the porter by a messenger, generally a little girl, who was then sent across the road to the house in which Philip lodged. At night the porter, who had a latch key, himself came over and awoke Philip. It was mysterious then to get up in the darkness and walk through the deserted streets of the South Side. At those hours it was generally the husband who brought the card. If there had been a number of babies before he took it for the most part with surly indifference, but if newly married he was nervous and then sometimes strove to allay his anxiety by getting drunk. Often there was a mile or more to walk, during which Philip and the messenger discussed the conditions of labour and the cost of living Philip learnt about the various trades which were practised on that side of the river. He inspired confidence in the people among whom he was thrown, and during the long hours that he waited in a stuffy room, the woman in labour lying on a large bed that took up half of it, her mother and the midwife talked to him as naturally as the. y talked to one another. The circumstances in which he had lived during the last two years had taught him several things about the life of the very poor, which it amused them to find he kne.t you even recite I have no parlour tricks. The buyer in the gentleman s hosiery was a well known reciter, and he was called upon loudly to perform by all the assistants in his department. Needing no pressing, he gave a long poem of tragic character, in which he rolled his eyes, put his hand on his chest, and acted as though he were in great agony. The point, that he had eaten cucumber for supper, was divulged in the last line and was greeted with laughter, a little forced because everyone knew the poem well, but loud and long. Miss Bennett did not sing, play, or recite. Oh no, she as a little game of 17 bayern munich her own, said Mrs. Hodges. Now, don t you begin chaffing me. The fact is I know quite a lot about palmistry and second sight. Oh, do tell my and, Miss Bennett, cried the girls in her department, eager to please her. I don t like telling ands, I don t really. I ve told people such terrible things and they ve 17 bayern munich all come true, it makes one superstitious like. Oh, Miss Bennett, just for once. A little crowd collected round her, and, amid screams of embarrassment, giggles, blushings, and cries of dismay or admiration, she talked mysteriously of fair and dark men, manchester united kits and logo 2019 of money in a letter, 17 bayern munich and of journeys, till the sweat stood in heavy beads on her painted face. Look at me, retro england football shirts for sale she said. I m all of a perspiration. Supper was at nine. There were cakes, buns, sandwiches, tea and coffee, all free but if you wanted mineral water you had to pay for it. Gallantry often led young men to offer second hand football kits the ladies ginger beer, but common decency made them refuse. Miss Bennett was very fond of ginger beer, and she drank two and sometimes three bottles during the evening but she insisted on paying for them herself. The men liked her for that. She s a rum old bird, they said, but mind you, she s not a bad sort, she s not like what some are. After supper progressive whist was played. This was very noisy, and there was a great deal of laughing and shouting, as people moved from table to table. Miss Bennett grew hotter and hotter. Look at me, she said. I m all of a perspiration. In due course one of the more dashing of the young men remarked that if they wanted to dance they d better begin. The girl who had played the accompaniments sat at the piano and placed a decided foot on the loud pedal. She played a dreamy waltz, marking the time with the bass, while with the right hand she tiddled in alternate octaves. By way of a change she crossed her hands and p.
17 Bayern Munich , ready made tweeds or queer tail coats, and their hats, for they had brought them in with 17 bayern munich them, and when they danced there was no place to put them but their heads. Some of the women looked like servant girls, and some were painted hussies, but for the most bayern munich kits 2019/20 part they were shop girls. They were poorly dressed in cheap imitation of the fashions on the 17 bayern munich other side of the river. The hussies were got up to resemble the music hall artiste or the dancer who enjoyed notoriety at the moment their eyes were heavy with black and their cheeks impudently scarlet. The hall was lit by great white lights, low down, which emphasised the shadows on the faces all the lines seemed to harden under it, and the colours were most england away goalkeeper kit crude. It was a sordid scene. Philip leaned over the rail, staring down, and he ceased to hear the music. They danced furiously. They danced round the room, slowly, talking very little, with all their attention given to the dance. The room was hot, and their faces shone with sweat. it seemed to Philip that they had thrown off the guard which people wear on their expression, the homage to convention, and he saw them now as they really were. In that moment of abandon they were strangely an. imal some were foxy and some were wolf like and others had the long, foolish 17 bayern munich face of sheep. Their skins were sallow from the unhealthy life they led and the poor food they ate. Their features were blunted by mean interests, and their little eyes were shifty and cunning. There was nothing of nobility in their bearing, and you felt that for all of them life was a long succession of petty concerns and sordid thoughts. The air was heavy with the musty smell of humanity. But they danced furiously as though impelled by some strange power within them, and it seemed to Philip that they were driven forward by a rage for enjoyment. They were seeking desperately to escape from a world of horror. The desire for pleasure which Cronshaw said was the only motive of human action urged them blindly on, and the very vehemence of the desire seemed to rob it of all pleasure. They were hurried on by a great wind, helplessly, they knew not why and they knew not whither. Fate seemed to tower above them, and they danced as though everlasting darkness were beneath their feet. Their silence was vaguely alarming. It was as if life terrified them and robbed them of power of speech so that the shriek which was in their hearts died at their throats. Their eyes were haggard and grim and.for her, and she had no desire to do what somebody else seemed desirous to do for her. He unpacked her clothes and put them away. She was not proposing to go out again, so he got her slippers and took off her boots. It delighted him to perform menial offices. You do spoil me, she said, running her fingers affectionately through his hair, while 17 bayern munich he was on his knees unbuttoning her boots. He took her hands and kissed them. It is nipping to have you here. He arranged the cushions and the photograph frames. She had several jars of green earthenware. I ll get you some flowers for them, he said. He looked round at his work proudly. As I m not going out any more I think I ll get into a tea gown, she said. Undo me behind, will you She 17 bayern munich turned round as unconcernedly as though he were a woman. His sex meant nothing to her. But his heart was filled with gratitude for the intimacy her request showed. He undid the hooks and eyes with clumsy fingers. That first day I came into the shop I never thought I d be doing this for you now, he said, with a laugh which he forced. Somebody must do it, she answered. She went into the bed room and slipped into a pale blue tea gown decorated with a great deal of cheap lace. Then Philip settled her on a sofa and made tea for her. I m afraid I can t stay and have it with you, he said regretfully. I ve got a beastly appointment. But I shall be back in half an hour. He wondered what he 17 bayern munich should say if she asked him what the appointment was, but she showed no curiosity. He had ordered dinner for the two of them when he took the rooms, and proposed to spend the evening with her quietly. He was in such a hurry to get back that he took a tram along the Vauxhall Bridge Road. He thought he had better break the fact to Norah at once that he could not stay more than a few minutes. I say, I ve got only just time to say how d you do, he said, as soon as he got into her rooms. I m frightfully busy. Her face fell. Why, what s the matter It exasperated him that she should force him to tell lies, and he knew that he reddened when he answered that there was a demonstration at the hospital which he was bound to go to. He fancied that she looked as though she did not believe him, and this irritated him all the more. Oh, well, it doesn t matter, she said. I shall have you all tomorrow. He looked at her blankly. It was Sunday, and he had been looking forward to spending the day with Mildred. He told himself that he mu.